MSE Pregnancy Club 26

becca0417

claire16c wrote: »

Thanks gonna have a look now for some basics!

I now have far too many 'basics' ...

smartcat04

claire16c wrote: »

I thought they could only make you start maternity leave earlier later on? Like the last 4 weeks or something?

Thats what it says here

https://www.gov.uk/maternity-pay-leave/leave

If you get any hassle Id just email them that link and say when youll be starting your mat leave

Thanks for that, I've double checked their own policy and it says the same. My HR dept are useless. They threatened me with abscence discipline when I was off twice with bleeding until I sought advice from the union and suggested we discussed it with a rep. Thats the NHS as well.

claire16c

becca0417 wrote: »

I now have far too many 'basics' ...

I now have another 13 bodysuits thanks to you mrs :rotfl: only cost £11 though!

But Im irritated as I found a really cute lace dress reduced to £5, perfect for my sisters wedding as most dresses Ive found are expensive or too big and this was up to 1 month size, but by the time I put card details in it was out of stock! Someone else must have nabbed it.

smartcat04 wrote: »

Thanks for that, I've double checked their own policy and it says the same. My HR dept are useless. They threatened me with abscence discipline when I was off twice with bleeding until I sought advice from the union and suggested we discussed it with a rep. Thats the NHS as well.

That's terrible!! (And even worse if its the NHS.)

Oh my goodness its a basic thing that you cant discipline someone for pregnancy related sickness - how ridiculous you even have to talk to your union!

You should be threatening them for threatening you!

amyloofoo

Well, today's appointment went well and both midwives (and the consultant they roped in :rotfl:) were lovely and understanding (and very apologetic). We talked all the options over and are now back to a planned section. I think if I'd had this appointment earlier in the pregnancy and had more time to consider all the options then I may have decided to try for a vaginal delivery with all the safeguards they promised, but I'll be 38 weeks tomorrow and I didn't want to get home and then feel as though I'd made a mistake and been talked into something I felt less comfortable and safe with as I think this could have been a major anxiety trigger.

They've now written up a birth plan for an elective section and included information about HMS in my notes for the delivery team - they also called the consultant anaesthetist to get advice so I wasn't waiting for another appointment and made arrangements for a growth scan next week if baby doesn't arrive before. I still won't get a section date until my next appointment on Thursday, but at least I now know exactly what will happen if I go into spontaneous labour before, and that the plan won't be changing following this appointment. All in all, a much more positive experience than I was even hoping for.

Smartcat - definitely get the union involved on your side. I didn't understand how useless the NHS could be when it came to these things until I got pregnant.

Becca - you can never have too many basics

Claire - yey for Santa outfits :j Maybe it's just my family, but this baby seems to have more novelty outfits than actual clothes!

Rummer - so sorry to hear your news, although it's good to hear that you're feeling a bit brighter after a well-deserved rest. I hope it's all a bit of a false alarm and baby stays put for as long as possible, but even so, 34 weeks is a good gestation and although it must have come as a total shock, the chances are that baby will be absolutely fine :grouphug: An internet forum's a bit insufficient for the situation but I'll be thinking of you and LO and wishing you both all the best. Have your hospital put you in touch with Tommy's and offered you a tour of the NNU / SCBU? In my experience they can be really helpful during those first couple of weeks.

Faith - please mention to your consultant that you were left alone in labour last time, and understandably are concerned about this happening again - I can't believe this happened! I hope your placenta moves sufficiently and you get the birth you want, whether that's a section or a vaginal delivery.

BWP - thanks, you're right I should have mentioned cord traction. It's a bit moot now anyway, but it always surprises me that we need to include these things in a birth plan - surely evidence based practice should have eliminated these bad practices.

Jox - Sorry to hear about your OH's job, however it sounds as though you're both able to see the positives - hopefully this is a step to something better.

Welcome lulu!

TL - hooray for pay day! Don't share too many tempting baby-related purchases though, my pay day's not for a while yet and the plastic has definitely taken a battering already Hope the MOT goes well.

Birdie - while it's probably a good idea to have a think / talk about a birth plan and a look at your options, there's nothing wrong with having one that's really flexible and pretty much just states what you've put in your post. If what's going to help you relax and feel in control is stating that you're unsure what pain relief you'd like until you experience labour and 'whatever helps the baby get here quickly and safely is fine by me' then go for it! That approach is just as valid as someone who has a 100-point plan for each stage, it's your birth

Zippy - DH says it's silly to make the crib and it would creep him out to see it all made up with no baby in it (like we'd misplaced her or something :rotfl:) I think I might do it anyway though... it's taunting me

It's really good that they're being so understanding about additional pain relief whilst in the pool - my hospital won't allow anything more than g&a if you're having a water birth. I really hope the pool's free and you get the birth you're hoping for - you're going to be meeting Mini Zee so soon Any baby who's been planned, hoped for and loved for so long before even arriving is guaranteed to be very special, please tell me you'll be sharing a pic!

bigzippy

kerri_dfw wrote: »

BigZ - have you researched any of the hypnobirthing methods for helping to stay relaxed during the labour? My Mum went on a self-hypnosis course last Friday for helping her cope with her M.E. and said that it has taught her some really useful relaxation techniques to help her rest better.

No, but I am aware of the power of the mind and keeping calm through pain. I've lived with it to long not to be, I guess. I'm not really into the hypnosis type stuff though, just the keep calm and breathe through it approach

amyloofoo wrote: »

Zippy - DH says it's silly to make the crib and it would creep him out to see it all made up with no baby in it (like we'd misplaced her or something :rotfl:) I think I might do it anyway though... it's taunting me

Can you compromise by putting teddies in there in the meantime?

It's really good that they're being so understanding about additional pain relief whilst in the pool - my hospital won't allow anything more than g&a if you're having a water birth. I really hope the pool's free and you get the birth you're hoping for - you're going to be meeting Mini Zee so soon Any baby who's been planned, hoped for and loved for so long before even arriving is guaranteed to be very special, please tell me you'll be sharing a pic!

Thanks :A I'm not sure about a pic... perhaps via PM rather that the open forum? I'm a little paranoid about being 'discovered'

I'm not sure if they *will* allow diamorphine while in the pool but I'm trying to remain laid back about the whole thing. Aside from being calm enough and somewhat mentally prepared for each scenario, there's nothing I can really do about how it goes at the time so I'm trying not too think about it too much tbh... potentially to the point of being in denial although the pains and BHs I've had tonight make that somewhat difficult

DH and I have decided to also miss the parent craft class tomorrow. Both our anxiety levels are higher than either of us would like and I/we think the cost:benefit ratio is tipped against going. I have some guilt about missing both classes (this and breastfeeding) - like I'm not doing the best for MiniZee - but actually I've read, seen, and been around babies, enough to not really have too many gaps in my knowledge... and the things I'm more interested in finding out are basically because of the fact that my hospital is 'out of area', so I'm not sure who will do the initial checks and home visits etc - but I can ask my midwife/the hospital for that stuff.

Even though we discussed it logically and rationally (with a friend too, as well as between ourselves), I'm still feeling a bit ashamed to admit choosing not to go - I feel like I'm going to be judged I'm not sure how to get past that feeling though..?

I'm glad your appointment went well and that you've got a clear idea of the plan again now!

Rummer, is it because of the GD?

Claire, I can't help with the tights issue cos I almost never wear them

I can't remember much else now, sorry. I know there was a newbie -welcome :wave:- but forgotten your name if you want to go on the list, shout and one of us can add you if you can't suss the html code :)

36+3

TeamLowe

Tbh bigZ I don't think there's much you'd be missing from a parentcraft class, in fact I'd go as far as to say it's not relevant for you as it's general information about Labour and the choices you can have during but it sounds like your Labour has already been discussed in fine detail with experts.
Don't get me wrong, I found it useful as a starting point to think about my birth plan but it is just general information that's given under the assumption that everyone in the room is going to have an easy natural labour.
So I don't think you should be worried that you're not doing your best for MiniZ, you've just been such good parents so far that you're ahead of the curve

Amy I'm glad your appointment went well and you're happy with your plan thank you for posting your alternative plan, it gave me a lot to think about

Stupid question but when they write your birth plan, where does it go? Is it in your green notes or a separate document? Not sure what input I'll have into mine yet, have to see consultant at 36 weeks to be weighed and baby's position and growth checked so they might have their own ideas and neither me or DH are the kinds to go against their advice

Had a good chat with DH last night about our plan for me to stay at home with little lowe. I've been feeling really guilty and selfish about it as I feel like I've made the choice and he's gone along with it but he's reassured me that it's important to him too. Sounds strange but because we've always agreed on the big things there's never been much discussion about them - it's not like we've sat up nights discussing and compromising about it, so I worry that he just goes along with my ideas to make me happy

claire16c

TL were the same. Dh normally is happy if I am. But then yesterday DH said to me maybe if I start doing x extra hours at work you won't need to go back to work for ages, I guess he meant til the baby was at school. So I know he doesn't mind however long I take off.

However I think 1-2 years will be more realistic as in 2-3 years we want to buy a house and we won't be able to get a mortgage based on just his salary - even if we could pay it, multiple wise the bank wouldn't lend that much. So I'd need to work full time for a bit or at least 3 days, even if I quit after the house went through!

lulu75_2

Morning all. DH is on earlies and I want to be at the shops for 9 so am wide awake.

Thanks for all the welcomes ladies, I'm hoping to pick your brains in the future about baby stuff. I've decided that after Xmas I'm going to focus on getting everything ready. We have decided on a pram tho - the babystyle oyster. My in laws have offered to pay for it which is lovely. And I've finally sorted maternity leave which I found really difficult. I'm going to take a year off and then go back part time, although I think dh wants me to stay at home. I might decide to when the baby is here but at the minute I plan to go back. I think I'd miss my job, I enjoy it!

BWP - thanks for the link, I did go on that site when I was ill. We are thinking of having another baby, and probably fairly close due to my age (38), so it will need a bit of planning.

I hope everyone has a good weekend - I'm looking for some maternity dresses as my under bump jeggings get uncomfortable sometimes. It's hard though as I'm only 5'2 and everything is too long!

Oh, could someone add me to the list please? Lulu75 29th March team yellow

MrsBunny

Hello

30+1 today...can't believe in in the 30s now!!

Had a terrible nights sleep last night, every time I lie on my side (either) I have the worse bump ache ever, can't decide whether it's bump or tummy ache. Baby has move to a sort of vertical position and was so uncomfortable sat at my desk yesterday in work. I can't sleep on my back anyway so one very grumpy lady her today.......and it's always the day you have plans and an evening out!

I have not even thought of a birth plan yet....maybe I should start researching into the different options. When did your MW start to discuss this with you? I do see her on Xmas eve so maybe we can chat about it then.

I've not really sign up to any classes, I am going on a tour of the maternity unit and then booked on the hospital breast feeding session. That's it. I don't feel the need to go on any as I grew up around babies and my mum is ex nursey nurse. When my twin cousins where born (ok 14 years ago!) I helped my aunty out everyday after school/college while my uncle went back to work. If I can survive being left with 2 babies, I can cope with 1!

I am also reconsidering breast feeding.....at first I decided it was the only way I would feed baby but now, as time creeps closer I am thinking about half and half with formula. I do want to breast feed, but I don't want DH feeling left out for even longer, he feels so disconnected from the baby at the moment, every time he goes to feel the baby kicks, he stops. He spends hours hugging my bump but baby just sleeps. I can tell he's feeling really down about it and then the other night he said after baby is born I will be having lots of snuggle time with baby while it feeds and he will feel left out. (Got a tear in my eye typing this now as I really feel for DH) so as well as bf I think I will mix it up with formula so he can have snuggle feeding time too (and I can sleep!). Must do some research on formula....good job I'm off over Christmas for all this researching I am doing.

Right, better start getting on with my plans for today, first stop shower to sort my hair out!

Mrs bunny

claire16c

Mrs bunny I'm sure once the baby arrived your DH will be fine, there's plenty of time baby will be sleeping or dozing where he can have cuddles. Don't stress your self over worrying how to do both formula and breast feeding (unless of course it works out that way anyway) if you want to breast feed.

It might sound bad but I don't really care about how DH feels in relation to that, I'm the one with the (very small lol) boobs and therefore I'll be doing most of the feeding if it goes to plan, just how it is.

My friend exclusively breast fed but her baby still gave her DH a huge smile when he came through the door after a couple of nights away. If anything it's nice for him that she wants a cuddle with him for a cuddle, whereas my friend was often cried for but purely because her baby knows exactly where the milk is coming from and it's not from down Dads top lol!

My baby often stops kicking when DH feels my tummy but he got some good ones the other night!

Plus there will be other times when he's more involved than me. He is a big baby when it comes to films so he's already planning on lots of couch time when they're toddlers watching Disney, and taking them to the park when I'm feeling lazy or he wants to run around with the buggy & I'd prefer a walk etc so I'm sure things even out over time. Please don't feel upset! X