MSE Pregnancy Club 26

Girlzmum

Glad you're home Claree, put your feet up and enjoy your maternity leave.

I couldn't bf with my girls and I express fed them both, it worked well for me (6 weeks with eldest and 14 weeks with youngest) I remember being out when youngest was about 6 weeks old at a babydance class that was full of breastapos, I got out a bottle and several of the mums stared at me like I had announced I was giving her a swig of whiskey! I felt so uncomfortable. It is entirely up to the mother to decide what is best for her and her baby and no one should ever feel judged for making that decision - as long as baby is happy and healthy then who cares how they are fed. Mind you, I haven't been asked once what I plan to do feeding wise with this one!!!!

I went into town today to get a change bag and I am exhausted! People were so rude it was unbelievable, was in Mamas and Papas, trying to get upstairs (I have problems with my right knee so I struggle with stairs) there was an older woman coming down the stairs on the opposite side, she actually crossed to the same side as me and stopped dead in front of me and made me walk around her!!! !!!!!!??? I was hit with shopping bags, had people shove in front of me and was treated like I was invisible. If bump was tiny I could understand but I'm giving birth in the next 5 days - I am HUGE! I was not happy at all. :mad:

IHateDida

notanewuser wrote: »

But if you can breastfeed, then it is the best for your baby. If you can't, or choose not to, then of course you're not damaging your baby, but you are lining the pockets of companies that will capitalise on that.

But you are also saving your sanity in some cases - I was literally in tears for the first 2 weeks trying to breastfeed, baby was incredibly frustrated and angry. I would happily pay any amount to make us both happy - after all, everything we buy lines the pockets of someone (nappies, wipes, toys etc).

The relief has been amazing (although I am expressing half of her feed still - which is a challenge in itself); happy mama = happy baby. To me, this is priceless

I just think a more balanced viewpoint needs to be put across by all healthcare professionals - you wouldn't believe just how guilty I felt not being able to bf after it was drummed in to me at every point possible.

pigpen

IHateDida wrote: »

But you are also saving your sanity in some cases - I was literally in tears for the first 2 weeks trying to breastfeed, baby was incredibly frustrated and angry. I would happily pay any amount to make us both happy - after all, everything we buy lines the pockets of someone (nappies, wipes, toys etc).

The relief has been amazing (although I am expressing half of her feed still - which is a challenge in itself); happy mama = happy baby. To me, this is priceless

I just think a more balanced viewpoint needs to be put across by all healthcare professionals - you wouldn't believe just how guilty I felt not being able to bf after it was drummed in to me at every point possible.

This was EXACTLY what I said to the mum who was struggling at our group and was ousted for it.. I can't see the point in beating yourself up from day one of parenthood.. over the years there will be many many more serious dilemmas which will test your resolve.. and to be fair.. every single decision you make as a parent you second guess yourself and have the rest of the world telling you your choices were wrong.. you will never be right again .. it comes with the territory and the sooner you realise that so long as you are doing the best you can and your child is loved and healthy and provided for NOTHING else matters..

notanewuser

IHateDida wrote: »

But you are also saving your sanity in some cases - I was literally in tears for the first 2 weeks trying to breastfeed, baby was incredibly frustrated and angry. I would happily pay any amount to make us both happy - after all, everything we buy lines the pockets of someone (nappies, wipes, toys etc).

The relief has been amazing (although I am expressing half of her feed still - which is a challenge in itself); happy mama = happy baby. To me, this is priceless

I just think a more balanced viewpoint needs to be put across by all healthcare professionals - you wouldn't believe just how guilty I felt not being able to bf after it was drummed in to me at every point possible.

They can't though really, can they? It's proven to be better for baby, and it benefits the NHS if babies are breastfed, so that is what they have to endorse.

It's like them telling you that it's okay to smoke or drink while pregnant. One or 2 won't hurt, but they can't advocate that!!

pigpen

They can give you the information to make an informed choice and back off. they don't need to badger people at every appointment and within minutes of giving birth which they do.. 'oh come on, just give it one try!!'.

IHateDida

notanewuser wrote: »

They can't though really, can they? It's proven to be better for baby, and it benefits the NHS if babies are breastfed, so that is what they have to endorse.

It's like them telling you that it's okay to smoke or drink while pregnant. One or 2 won't hurt, but they can't advocate that!!

I'm not sure you can compare formula feeding with smoking or drinking....! :eek:

But the emotional distress that it cause for mums.....I have had about 5 breastfeeding counsellors come out to my house - NOT ONE could offer me a solution/advice on post-tongue tie babies. I wonder whether the pressure to bf could contribute to PND in some ladies also?

I personally feel a bit let down by the initial lack of support and advice offered to me when it came to alternatives to bf-ing. Informed choice should be the name of the game - especially for mums who cannot bf for one reason or another.

Toothfairy4

Well said Dida, i dont think anyone is blaming the NHS for educating women about the benefits of breastfeeding but to put pressure on new mums and make them feel guilty if they are unable to breastfeed or choose to bottle feed is very wrong in my opinion. Most women are intelligent enough to make an informed choice once armed with all the info.

Totally over the top to compare smoking/drinking whilst pregnant with bottle feeding!

notanewuser

Toothfairy4 wrote: »

Well said Dida, i dont think anyone is blaming the NHS for educating women about the benefits of breastfeeding but to put pressure on new mums and make them feel guilty if they are unable to breastfeed or choose to bottle feed is very wrong in my opinion. Most women are intelligent enough to make an informed choice once armed with all the info.

Totally over the top to compare smoking/drinking whilst pregnant with bottle feeding!

It wasn't a comparison!!! It was an illustration of how healthcare professionals' hands are tied!!

My health visitor "couldn't endorse" baby led weaning. This wasn't because there were any concerns about it, but because you can readily tell how much food they're getting, it makes it harder to answer their tick sheets. She gave me the standard weaning advice booklets which I promptly binned.

MiffyMoo_2

When I was pregnant with DD there was a lot of talk and advice from the MWs about breastfeeding, but the actual after birth support was shocking. No one in the hospital showed me what to do and I left after the minimum 6 hours. No midwife came to see me the next day at home. I cried to the midwife who came to see me the second day as I was really trying with the latch etc. It got so stressful. She recommended a bf support group that I should attend, so 3 days after giving birth I drove myself to this support group only to be told it had stopped running months prior. This on top of all the pregnancy hormones turned me into a gibbering wreck. By the time the weight check came, is it 5-7 days after birth?, my DD had lost nearly 20% of her birth weight. I was still trying to bf, and at last I had a sensible Midwife who went to Boots with my husband to buy the formula, steriliser, bottles etc etc etc. The intention was to supplement but after a couple of weeks I exclusively formula fed, because I was just too drained.

When asked at my booking in appointment this time if I plan on bf or formula feeding I said FF, purely to the experience and the heartache I endured first time round. I will be all prepared to bottle feed, however I will try BF'ing in the first few days, but if it's not to be then there you go. I'm 26 weeks now, and they haven't asked me since booking in about feeding, so at least I don't feel the pressure.

MiffyMoo_2

notanewuser - That's interesting about the baby led weaning. At our post natal group that the HV ran after birth, we had a whole session on baby led weaning - she was fully supportive of it. She very much poo pooed spoon feeding.