Irritated; grumpy, always moaning ...

fannyadams

Seconding the post about talking to your union rep, specially as they (work) have already hassled you about coming back and you're only 3 days in to your 7 day sick note.
Call the union rep, what's stopping you?, it really sounds like you have a grievance and your union rep will be able to help you state your case or discuss a way forward to making life at work a bit easier if you don't have a case.
keep a record of the hassle too as this will add grist to the mill.
take care
FA
x

gravitytolls

alias*alibi wrote: »

It's a mixture of all sorts that affecting stress levels; I have deep routed anxiety which doesn't help to be fair which has been in existence long before my OH's affair. If i sound like a victim or woe is me its because that's selfishly how I do feel. I try to be the best I can at things but all I get in return is slapped down or false hope. I'm 41, whether this is a midlife crisis I don't know but I do worry that life is slipping through my fingers and I can't get a handle on it. Sometimes I feel like a bystander watching life from the periphery.

I've been asked when I'm returning to work. This is only my 3rd day of being signed off for a week so here I am stressing about that. There's no let-up.

'selfishly that's how I feel'. It's not selfish, it's how you feel, but you feel selfish for feeling.

This is such a common symtptom of depression, feeling life is spiralling out of control, feeling selfish for needing support, for needing someone to listen when you say 'I need help here'.

Get yourself back to the GP; I suffer from anxiety/depression too. The anxiety is dreadful, dreadful, dreadful. The feeling f panic in your chest and stomach, always there, fluttering away, sitting up most of the night, worrying, worrying, everything going round and round in your head, the tears you can't fight against; then in the daylight hours, despite exhaustion and fear, trying to behave as if nothing's wrong.

Get ye back to the GP at once, get some counselling/talking therapy arranged if you can, get the old man to accept how you feel, maybe get him along to therapy too. There is light at then end of this tunnel, but you gotta get on the train first.... Okay that's a load of old guff, but I'm right, you can get better, but you have to give it time; and although the two years since the affair seems like a long time, I fear the reason you're still stuck at this point is because you set yourself unreasonable expectations of recovery.

I also wonder if the husband's feelings of guilt are preventing him from accepting that you need more time and help. I wonder if he is trying so hard not to mention it, pretend it never happened that the whole thing might miraculously go away. Maybe remind him that your inability to recover thus far doesn't mean you haven't forgiven him, just that you're not quite over it yet and could he please help you out to enable your recovery.

Rottensocks

fannyadams wrote: »

Seconding the post about talking to your union rep, specially as they (work) have already hassled you about coming back and you're only 3 days in to your 7 day sick note.

Is it possible that by day 3 they had not recieved your fit note in the post, and were therefore ringing to check what was going on? If so this is perfectly legit, as they do have a duty of care to find out that you're okay, and also they are after all a business, so are within their rights to ask about likely return dates if they don't already have that information.

If they are ringing on day 3 despite having seen your fit note then it implies a lack of training of the supervisors above you... That is unlikely to be a localised lack of training, and much more likely to be across the business..... If supervisors across the business aren't being trained by HR to deal with Fit notes appropriately then it tells you something about the company as a whole. It suggests to me that union rep or no union rep, you'd be better using your remaining energy looking for another job than trying to get this company to behave.

I always find the process of going to a couple of interviews quite an optimistic thing to do....sometimes it helps you realise that the grass ain't greener, and other times it makes you feel that you're actively managing your own destiny.