Breakup envolving a child.

Williamf1989

Mojisola wrote: »

In that case, I would also put in writing the extra inconvenience and money involved with having to travel to her aunt's house to see your daughter.

Who do i put it in writing to?

Mojisola

lolly_896 wrote: »

What I was trying to get at, is that if you took your daughter from home and only allowed childs mother minimal supervised contact i bet the advise you receive would differ.

Williamf1989 wrote: »

And i bet it would.

But i would never do that to her because i know what they mean to each other

The problem with saying the advice would be different for a mother is that fathers are more vulnerable to accusations of violent or abusive behaviour. An estranged father has to make sure that bad behaviour from the mother doesn't push him into doing the things she may have accused him of.

We only have one side of the story - as usual - and can only advise from the information provided but, given that things are as William has says, the aunt's involvement suggests that his partner has painted him in a very poor light. He needs to behave impeccably to disprove whatever she has said.

Mojisola

Williamf1989 wrote: »

Who do i put it in writing to?

Write or email to your partner and keep copies of what you send.

Keep anything you get back from her or, if she doesn't reply, make a note of that. You are going to be behaving very reasonably - if she isn't doing the same, that will go against her when things go to court as they probably will.

Guest101

Williamf1989 wrote: »

The social services have never been envolved, theres no need. Not neglected, spoilt rotten and shes a happy baby.

And thats what i said aswell, what right has she got to say these things to me.
at first i said ill come to pick her up, spend the day with her and then take her back there at dinner time but she (which i still feel is unfair, seeing as now she is staying the night there even though she never been away from us the night) but she said my partner doesnt want me doing that and i have to respect that.

Its all jolly well them respecting her wishes but no one is thinking of me, moved out, living on the couch, not being able to see my daughter....

Use this opportunity to:

A: try find out what's been said
B: be completely reasonable, and even friendly. The aunt is only doign what she thinks is best. She may change her tuen if she meets ou like this
C: Just before your due to leave, ask to speak to her for five minutes. Ask about the next visit. Ask her, as a professional, what advice she would give to one of her clients in your ex's shoes. Don't get beligerent, just explain that whilst you two may have your differences (Say differences, not problems!!) - the effect on your daughter should be minimised. She'll hopefully see the effect you have on your daughter and agree.

Williamf1989

When i asked a similar question her response is "my partner" is uncomfortable with it and i should respect it. She saying contact is cut between the two of us untill emotions have dropped... which is fine. But it still doesnt explain the supervised access..

Williamf1989

I just need to stop thinking about it.
Ill keep you posted on what does/doesnt happen.

Thanks again

brenda10

William I have a family member in a similar situation as you and he is also a good father.

His partner is a bad one, bad to their 5 year old! I and others have now witnessed the truth, courts here we go.
Good Luck.
xx

Williamf1989

Just thought id update.

I got to see my daughter yesterday, that was good, slightly uncomfortable being at her relatives place and not somewhere mutual. Was great seeing her gave me a boost.

Got to have a chat with her aunt, the more i think about it the more i think ive been abit hasty and rushed on here abit but at the time my emotions were in controll.

But basically, heres the down low on what ive been told.

My partner is still in love with me, and misses me very much and is in a very vulnerable position at the minute (alot like myself) she is rather worried that if i have my daughter that i would not bring her back, now i know this isnt true and apparently deep down she does to but its a risk she isnt prepared to take at the moment.

So contact will at the monent will remain through her aunt only, im still not entirely happy about this as she is obviously going to be bias towards her niece.

When i left i asked when i would next be able to see her, she said she would talk to my partner and then let me know. She said she would take my daughter back to her mothers today at noon and let me know at around 3 oclock.

I messaged this morning to ask if my daughter was ok throughout the night because this is the 2nd time she hasnt been with one of us, no reply. I then messaged again at 4 oclock asking if there is any news on when i can next see her, still no reply. And then again to ask if possible could she grab some legal documents that i need for afew application forms as they are at my flat... no reply.

Im abit annoyed because she said she would definatly let me know and she still hasnt.

marisco_2

I can understand your frustration at this lack of communication and that in turn it may lead to concern for you about what is going on. As hard as it may be hold off on trying to make any more contact till tomorrow now. There may be all kinds of reasons why the Aunt hasn't got back to you yet. She may be having a big heart to heart talk with your partner and be fighting your corner for you as such. She may wisely have decided to turn her phone off so as this isn't interrupted. I realise that you have been more than reasonable already in fitting into seeing your daughter around their requests. Play the waiting game a bit longer and don't add any more pressure to what is already a delicate situation. That could make your partner and her Aunt bulk.

Williamf1989

marisco wrote: »

I can understand your frustration at this lack of communication and that in turn it may lead to concern for you about what is going on. As hard as it may be hold off on trying to make any more contact till tomorrow now. There may be all kinds of reasons why the Aunt hasn't got back to you yet. She may be having a big heart to heart talk with your partner and be fighting your corner for you as such. She may wisely have decided to turn her phone off so as this isn't interrupted. I realise that you have been more than reasonable already in fitting into seeing your daughter around their requests. Play the waiting game a bit longer and don't add any more pressure to what is already a delicate situation. That could make your partner and her Aunt bulk.

I just recieved a reply that she has not spoken to her yet, shes in nandos and will ring me when shes spoke to her, i asked if my daughter is still with her then because i could of see her today also.

As for fighting my corner i highly doubt it, ive always had the implication that she doesnt like me very much