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Breakup envolving a child.
Williamf1989
Posts: 74 Forumite
Lately me and my partner have not been getting on.
We were arguing more about petty things and it was a bad environment for our child who has not long turned 1.
After another petty argument my girlfriend left without letting me know where she was going or without taking anything for the baby with her.
She didnt come home all day and she was ignoring my calls.
Her aunt who just happens to be a social worker called me to say it was over and that im expected to leave the flat we rent otherwise my daughter will have to share a bed, so i handed my keys over and ive gone back to my parents.
Ive also been told that my ex partner is "uncomfortable" with me looking after our child (this is all new, and she has no reason to feel uncomfortable, im a wonderful dad and love her to bits)
Im not allowed to make any contact with my partner because otherwise she will call the police, ive been told im not to go round to the flat, otherwise she will call the police..
My partner is working saturday and i was ment to be watching my daughter but have since been told im not allowed to? And that if i want to see my daughter i have to go to my partners aunts house where i can see her there. I dont understand this. There is no history of violence and my ex knows that i would never try to take our child from her.
I dont understand, my partner hasnt spoken to me, she is so much of a coward she has ran to her aunt and got her to phone me and she is now in the middle.
My question is what right have they got to tell me i cannot take my daughter out alone until further notice? Why can my partner stop me seeing my child "for the time being" ???
I mean ive gone to my parents for a few days but im told its for good.
**edit**
i forgot to mention my ex hasnt spoken a word to me. this is bloody so annoying because i sat her down the day before and said lets not be the people who go on jeremy kyle, we can be civil. but this is far from civil.
Ive lost my home, partner and child
We were arguing more about petty things and it was a bad environment for our child who has not long turned 1.
After another petty argument my girlfriend left without letting me know where she was going or without taking anything for the baby with her.
She didnt come home all day and she was ignoring my calls.
Her aunt who just happens to be a social worker called me to say it was over and that im expected to leave the flat we rent otherwise my daughter will have to share a bed, so i handed my keys over and ive gone back to my parents.
Ive also been told that my ex partner is "uncomfortable" with me looking after our child (this is all new, and she has no reason to feel uncomfortable, im a wonderful dad and love her to bits)
Im not allowed to make any contact with my partner because otherwise she will call the police, ive been told im not to go round to the flat, otherwise she will call the police..
My partner is working saturday and i was ment to be watching my daughter but have since been told im not allowed to? And that if i want to see my daughter i have to go to my partners aunts house where i can see her there. I dont understand this. There is no history of violence and my ex knows that i would never try to take our child from her.
I dont understand, my partner hasnt spoken to me, she is so much of a coward she has ran to her aunt and got her to phone me and she is now in the middle.
My question is what right have they got to tell me i cannot take my daughter out alone until further notice? Why can my partner stop me seeing my child "for the time being" ???
I mean ive gone to my parents for a few days but im told its for good.
**edit**
i forgot to mention my ex hasnt spoken a word to me. this is bloody so annoying because i sat her down the day before and said lets not be the people who go on jeremy kyle, we can be civil. but this is far from civil.
Ive lost my home, partner and child
0
Comments
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You need to go to families need father and to start legal proceeding for contact etc.
They do not have the right to tell you this but you are dealing with people who know how to use legal proceedings so you have to be smarter than they are. They can get emergency orders and tell all sorts of stories to get them so be careful.
Legally
1. They cannot prevent you living in a property that you jointly rent, but they can apply for an exclusion order. Since your partner seems to have decided that she wants to end the relationship, continued trying to contact her could be harassment and they could get a restraining order. However, contacting her or her chosen representative to arrange contact is not haressment.
2. Legally you are jointly and severally liable for the rent (all of it) even if you are not living there. When does the tenancy end?
3. Legally, you could remove your child and take them home to live with you and your partner would have to go to the court to get the child back.
4. Your partner may open a CSa claim for 15 % of your earnings.
However, if you have been offered contact time at the aunt's house, I would seriously take them up on it and keep doing it. Engage totally with the child all the time and engage in a charm offensive re aunt. Maybe ask if aunt will have the child's feed and nappies or if you need to bring supplies?
Then make a formal proposal to contact one evening a week and one day every weekend if that fits with your work pattern. Make that in writing and offer mediation.If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
You need to go to families need father and to start legal proceeding for contact etc.
They do not have the right to tell you this but you are dealing with people who know how to use legal proceedings so you have to be smarter than they are. They can get emergency orders and tell all sorts of stories to get them so be careful.
Legally
1. They cannot prevent you living in a property that you jointly rent, but they can apply for an exclusion order.
2. Legally you are jointly and severally liable for the rent (all of it) even if you are not living there. When does the tenancy end?
3. Legally, you could remove your child and take them home to live with you and your partner would have to go to the court to get the child back.
4. Your partner may open a CSa claim for 15 % of your earnings.
However, if you have been offered contact time at the aunt's house, I would seriously take them up on it and keep doing it. Engage totally with the child all the time and engage in a charm offensive re aunt. Maybe ask if aunt will have the child's feed and nappies or if you need to bring supplies?
I said i would stay at my parents so my child wouldnt be "living rough"
And i am going to see her when they say i can but i dont feel its right or fair. Who is she to say i can see her providing im being supervised. Her aunt is treating this like a case at work, can i report her for that?0 -
Things are obviously very raw on both sides. You do not know what aunt has been told by your ex either.
Aunt has specialist knowledge which your ex is using. She is not acting as a social worker. She may in fact have told your ex that she cannot prevent you seeing the child and be offering her services to stop your ex refusing any contact.If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
But theres no justification, im a good dad and she knows it?0
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Logic does not come into it.
You can however make that point to her or the courts.
More importantly, demonstrate that to her aunt as that may be the easiest way to get this resolved without the courts.If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
Book a mediation/counselling session with for example Relate and invite your ex to attend.
She seems clearly angry and upset. I find it highly unlikely that she'd be so angry she won't speak to you, without any reasons at all?
You say the arguments were about petty things and that you are a good dad, but perhaps it is worth thinking things through as to what may have upset her. Things that could cause resentment could be for example ...
not doing your share (i.e. half ) of the house work,
not doing half the looking after the child,
spending more money and on nights out with friends than her,
Working to much,
working too little,
smoking,
drinking,
drugs,
blanking her or using threatening body language when angry,
Not supporting her if there are conflicts between her and your family
Texting, hanging out with, or checking out other women online
!!!!!!
Not being safery conscious around the child....
The possibilities are endless, but chances are she has her reason,if she is that angry with you? Why is she so angry?0 -
Logic does not come into it.
You can however make that point to her or the courts.
More importantly, demonstrate that to her aunt as that may be the easiest way to get this resolved without the courts.
They know full well already.. Her aunt is obviously siding with her because shes her niece, have recently found out that saturday night she is spending the night there because my ex is going out.. I do not understand why they can stop me having her and why they think its a good idea.
her excuse is emotions are high, but im calm and accept the breakup, (it was actually my idea) ive moved out and ive stopped all contact..0 -
Book a mediation/counselling session with for example Relate and invite your ex to attend.
She seems clearly angry and upset. I find it highly unlikely that she'd be so angry she won't speak to you, without any reasons at all?
You say the arguments were about petty things and that you are a good dad, but perhaps it is worth thinking things through as to what may have upset her. Things that could cause resentment could be for example ...
not doing your share (i.e. half ) of the house work,
not doing half the looking after the child,
spending more money and on nights out with friends than her,
Working to much,
working too little,
smoking,
drinking,
drugs,
blanking her or using threatening body language when angry,
Not supporting her if there are conflicts between her and your family
Texting, hanging out with, or checking out other women online
!!!!!!
Not being safery conscious around the child....
The possibilities are endless, but chances are she has her reason,if she is that angry with you? Why is she so angry?
Theres no reason for her to be this angry, the reason she has stopped contact is because her aunt is a qualified syc?? Shes told her before to not speak to me, turn phone of, ignore me etc and they are doing it ahain0 -
Williamf1989 wrote: »Theres no reason for her to be this angry
People don't break up for no reason at all. She is probably really hurt and sad about her relationship breaking down?
I find it very odd that you can't think of any reasons why she may be angry with you. Are you either a saint, or completely oblivious to your own flaws? I am happily married, but am aware of the aspects of my personality and behaviour that upset my partner.0 -
Does your post on here - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4664129
mean that your partner was unfaithful?
If so, she may be going on the offensive, worried that her behaviour will put her in a bad light in the separation proceedings. You don't know what she's told her aunt about you!0
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