Breakup envolving a child.

Williamf1989

DUTR wrote: »

You best check the child is yours!
You're only 25 , so over the years you will find women can act irrationally funny for more than one week of the month, in the meantime as others have suggested, get some professional direction and don't get yourself into trouble by doing the 'right' thing, as hand on heart in the long run, it just ain't worth it.

Definitely mine, she is my double!

And i currently have a part time job and im in the process of learning the knowledge of london (taxi)

Williamf1989

lolly_896 wrote: »

So mother cheated, father moves out due to not getting on and is made to have supervised contact with child?

How is that even remotely fair?!? I'm pretty sure that if it was the mother writing these posts the replies would be completely different.

Cheated? I havent mentioned anything like that?? !!

I moved out because i was asked to for the sake of our little girl not because i wanted to, all of my stuff is still there,

its the supervised contact that is winding me up, i just dont understand how this is fair, im not even aloud to bring my mother along with me because it makes my ex uncomfortable, even though she wont be there. There asking me to go to a strange house full of her family who will be very biased.

Guest101

Williamf1989 wrote: »

Cheated? I havent mentioned anything like that?? !!

I moved out because i was asked to for the sake of our little girl not because i wanted to, all of my stuff is still there,

its the supervised contact that is winding me up, i just dont understand how this is fair, im not even aloud to bring my mother along with me because it makes my ex uncomfortable.

Then note this down. Keep it as a record of unreasonable behaviour. You remain calm, do as she asked, but keep notes. Keep a diary of visits.

When you come before a judge you can put all this evidence to them, if that's where it goes.

Williamf1989

Ok guys. Thanks for all your help and advice. I will come back when progress or lack of has been made.

Mojisola

Williamf1989 wrote: »

its the supervised contact that is winding me up, i just dont understand how this is fair, im not even aloud to bring my mother along with me because it makes my ex uncomfortable.

It not only isn't fair - it's totally unreasonable. Supervised contact is usually imposed because the parent has been violent or is a drug or drink abuser who can't be trusted with the child.

However, you need to be Mr Super-Reasonable at the moment. Whatever games the child's mother is playing, you need to keep to the high ground and behave impeccably. Keep things on a very even keel with her aunt - you don't know what she has been told by your partner.

I would put something in writing along the lines of - I will visit X according to the arrangement you have made but I don't understand why I can't take our daughter to my parents' house where I am staying and spend time with her there.

If she doesn't answer, she will look unreasonable. If she does, you will start to get an idea of what she's accusing you of doing.

I'm not sure that the aunt is very wise getting involved in all this. If the child has been to Social Services, other people should be taking the case. Is it okay for a SW to start organising supervised visiting like this?

lolly_896

Williamf1989 wrote: »

Cheated? I havent mentioned anything like that?? !!

I moved out because i was asked to for the sake of our little girl not because i wanted to, all of my stuff is still there,

its the supervised contact that is winding me up, i just dont understand how this is fair, im not even aloud to bring my mother along with me because it makes my ex uncomfortable, even though she wont be there. There asking me to go to a strange house full of her family who will be very biased.

Sorry, I thought i'd read a reference to a previous post saying your partner was unfaithful and you'd forgiven her??

What I was trying to get at, is that if you took your daughter from home and only allowed childs mother minimal supervised contact i bet the advise you receive would differ.

Williamf1989

Mojisola wrote: »

It not only isn't fair - it's totally unreasonable. Supervised contact is usually imposed because the parent has been violent or is a drug or drink abuser who can't be trusted with the child.

However, you need to be Mr Super-Reasonable at the moment. Whatever games the child's mother is playing, you need to keep to the high ground and behave impeccably. Keep things on a very even keel with her aunt - you don't know what she has been told by your partner.

I would put something in writing along the lines of - I will visit X according to the arrangement you have made but I don't understand why I can't take our daughter to my parents' house where I am staying and spend time with her there.

If she doesn't answer, she will look unreasonable. If she does, you will start to get an idea of what she's accusing you of doing.

It is

And i know some of you reading might be thinking, well this isnt the whole story..

Im not going to get into why we were arguing because its irrelevant, im not claiming to be the best partner ever because i know im not but no reason to only give me supervised access. Ill go tomorrow, and just spend time with my daughter because i havent seen her for nearly a week and see when they say im allowed back... And thats another thing, her aunts house isnt easy to get to, its 2 buses and a hefty walk. As opposed to 1 bus from my, sorry her flat.

Williamf1989

lolly_896 wrote: »

Sorry, I thought i'd read a reference to a previous post saying your partner was unfaithful and you'd forgiven her??

What I was trying to get at, is that if you took your daughter from home and only allowed childs mother minimal supervised contact i bet the advise you receive would differ.

Oh yes your right i did, but this was years ago, long before our daughter came along. and in another post

And i bet it would.

But i would never do that to her because i know what they mean to each other

Williamf1989

Mojisola wrote: »

I'm not sure that the aunt is very wise getting involved in all this. If the child has been to Social Services, other people should be taking the case. Is it okay for a SW to start organising supervised visiting like this?

The social services have never been envolved, theres no need. Not neglected, spoilt rotten and shes a happy baby.

And thats what i said aswell, what right has she got to say these things to me.
at first i said ill come to pick her up, spend the day with her and then take her back there at dinner time but she (which i still feel is unfair, seeing as now she is staying the night there even though she never been away from us the night) but she said my partner doesnt want me doing that and i have to respect that.

Its all jolly well them respecting her wishes but no one is thinking of me, moved out, living on the couch, not being able to see my daughter....

Mojisola

Williamf1989 wrote: »

Ill go tomorrow, and just spend time with my daughter because i havent seen her for nearly a week and see when they say im allowed back... And thats another thing, her aunts house isnt easy to get to, its 2 buses and a hefty walk. As opposed to 1 bus from my, sorry her flat.

In that case, I would also put in writing the extra inconvenience and money involved with having to travel to her aunt's house to see your daughter.