Is my relationship worth saving?

Wol2

Still thinking of you weathergurl - please let us know you;re OK as it's been almost a week since you last posted.

xxxx

maryleerk06

You have been together for a very long time. Perhaps he's lost appreciation for you and at the same time you need to work out how you feel because it sounds like you are torn.

Maybe you do need to separate for a short time just to see how you both feel and for you to work out whether the relationship is worth saving.

After that you can take it from there, I wish I had more helpful advice but relationships are complex and only the people involved truly know what's happening.

I wish you all the best and please keep us posted.

tayforth

How are things, weathergurl? Please let us know that you're OK xx

Blackpool_Saver

Bump, please check in Weathergurl

Wol2

Bump agaim - I too am concerned because WG hasn't posted at all. this last week

I do hope you;re OK WG -

Maybe you have decided to adopt a different aproach to managing your marriage/relationship.

That's completely OK...your thread should be something that YOU feel is supportive and works for you....and you need to decide what is right for you. The last thing we want to do is put any pressure on you.

Hugs Hun....and whiskery kisses from the Guinea Piggies :cool:
xxxx

bizzybee

And bump once again!

I have been following your thread Weathergurl with admiration of not only you but so many others who have given you advice and support.

Please let us know you are ok....silly as it is, because I don't know you but I'm starting to get a little concerned!!:embarasse

Primrose

Yes, your silence is a little concerning as some of your earlier posts did suggest that the pressure on you was tightening and anybody familiar with this kind of abuse will be anxious for your safety.

tattycath

Well the icon is showing she's online at the moment...

weathergurl

Aw I'm so sorry you've been worried, please don't. It's been hard to get online as I've been on a course at work and its still v difficult at home.

I've made progress in some areas, but the home situation hasn't really improved.

Not sure what to think with regards to OH if I'm honest, its too complicated for me to understand what's going on, esp living in it and not having the luxury of being an outsider looking objectively at the situation.

He's stopped the hearts and flowers routine, no more cooking etc.

He said he wanted to talk about our relationship at midnight on Saturday, and then proceeded to talk at me for 2 hours abut how selfish I can be and how I don't support him as much as I could. In the past I would have been frantic to 'improve' and part of me still felt like that, but a large part of me knew what he was saying was one-sided and unreasonable.

He actually seems quite depressed now, the other night it got to 10pm and he said he could feel his mood changing, so he was going to the cinema..and he upped and went. I think I've distanced myself from him and haven't reacted how he wanted to the hearts and flowers routine and so he's distanced himself too. We haven't really said anything to each other the last few days, just being civil.

I managed to get in contact with the legal helpline at my union ad they explained about 'order of sale' 'occupation order' and 'conduct of sale' all of which would help me if he decides to make it awkward but all of which could be horrendously expensive and take months to sort out. But I have a clear idea of what I need to do, if I need to.

I then rang my bank re the mortgage (didn't tell them my name and account number though). They said they don't do payment holidays. Interest only would require a new application from both of us (so that's not an option). And reducing my payments would affect both mine, and his, credit rating, he won't care about that but I do as it could affect my ability to buy/rent in future. I explained the situation but they didn't care less, just kept saying whether I live there or not the mortgage payments must be met each month.

I felt so down after calling them, and felt v trapped by the situation. I struggling to find the will to keep fighting forwards. I'm going to need a bloody big emergency fund if this thing could drag out months and in the meantime I'm going to have to pay rent and mortgage

weathergurl

tattycath wrote: »

Well the icon is showing she's online at the moment...

Sorry I was writing a long post, takes me a while to put it into words