Am I wrong to feel a little peeved?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

andygb wrote: »

:o:o
Cheers folks, to quote Vinny Jones - "Its been emotional":rotfl:

Seriously though, I think that 99% of this is the fact that I am not working, although 98% of that could be the fact that my OH doesn't understand how I feel about the situation.
Being on here and discussing it is probably as good as any counselling session.

Have you considered voluntary work or retraining?



I will admit to being on both sides of this situation. One ex was convinced I was supposed to be locked indoors scrubbing and polishing, to the extent that he told me that I was forbidden to go out and about, gallivanting about with friends during the day.

However, another would get up early, force feed me a cooked breakfast when I didn't want anything (as in placing a plate on me whilst still asleep and start complaining if I didn't immediately shovel down all 1459 calories of fat, cholesterol and salt), I would then come back from work to find him asleep in the sofa and he'd insist he'd worked really hard cleaning for hours. Well, if he spent as much as an hour cleaning, I'd be amazed. He'd just fiddle and fart around trying to make himself look busy - but never did a job properly, never completed anything. I always thought that he did that believing I'd need him in the vague hope he'd actually finish those jobs.


If you were volunteering, you'd be out of the house, have something to talk about and giving you something new to stick on your cv. And the prospect of you not hidden away from the world and talking to other people might make you feel more appreciated.

gravitytolls

andygb wrote: »

No children or pets.
I cook everything from scratch, including bread making.
It is difficult to accurately tell how long everything takes, because I literally do everything as explained in one of the earlier posts. Last week I spent six hours one day in the damp trying to sort out a problem on our second car, replacing a few bits and bobs, which would have cost £££'s in a garage.
The next day I was making fences and a gate, because that is cheaper and better than ready made - that job still isn't finished.
The week before last I must have spent three or four hours one day sorting out insurance for the cars and home.
I wash both the cars, I have always liked a nice, clean car because it enables you to see bodywork dfects quicker and they are worth more when you come to sell them.
Today I have spent a long time on here, both on this forum and doing job searches, which is in itself very time consuming.
Because we (or rather I) cook all our own food (apart from the odd crafty curry;)) I clean the oven once a week, because it takes about an hour and a half, but makes it easier to clean every time. If I clean the kitchen thoroughly including the tiled floor, that can take three hours - floor, worktops, sink, taps, extractor, hob, cupboards - it takes four different cleaning solutions, but looks great and smells nice.

WOW! :eek:

gravitytolls

andygb wrote: »

To be honest, and I know this makes me sound like a "Billy no mates", the guy who came around last week works during the day, and I have lost contact with other mates from the past, a lot have moved away from the area.

You need to do a course ~ photography, painting, baking, anything really, or undertake voluntary community stuff. You need to expand your social network and these are the best, cost effective way to do so.

**Patty**

I want to go & live with EVERYONE :rotfl:

paulineb_2

gravitytolls wrote: »

You need to do a course ~ photography, painting, baking, anything really, or undertake voluntary community stuff. You need to expand your social network and these are the best, cost effective way to do so.

Or have a look on the site meet up, it has different interest groups. Ive been on a few days out through meet up this last 6 months or so.

heartbreak_star

I think we're all a bit in love with you Andy

I hope, no matter what happens, that all the positivity on here has made you feel better about yourself as a person

HBS x

andygb

Judi wrote: »

Maybe she doesnt want any visitors and is using the house as an excuse.

You know, I have been wondering about this, or more specifically, only people of her choosing?
To be honest, I think that she is critical of everyone, not just me.
She needs a hobby or pastime to keep her occupied in the evenings or weekends. I have tried suggesting that she take one of my cameras with her when we go out, but she isn't interested.
We go to the gym and sometimes play badminton, but sports are a bit of a problem because she isn't coordinated and I used to play at a decent level.

treeze

harrys_nan wrote: »

I saw him 1st :p:p

Actually,I did...and I'm single...:rotfl::rotfl:

andygb

gravitytolls wrote: »

You need to do a course ~ photography, painting, baking, anything really, or undertake voluntary community stuff. You need to expand your social network and these are the best, cost effective way to do so.

I definitely need to get out more:), to meet people, because I am going stir crazy in the house, and the weather has been so rubbish lately, that I have had to forego my long walks.

pinkshoes

I think you need a wall chart!

Print out a grid with all the household chores, then write down what you do on each day and how long you spend doing them, making the point that it is YOU that has done them!

Cleaning is £8 an hour, and car fixing is £20 an hour at least!

Add up the total for the week and send her a bill for her half, so you can make your financial contribution to the household.