Ex wife lied to where she has taken kids abroad. Where do i stand?

FBaby · 31 May 2013 at 4:31PM

tattycath wrote: »

On the other hand the mother could have lied just so she is in control-I have seen this done firsthand. Not because the father would prevent anything but just because 'she could'.
So it may be that she is playing games with him and messing with his head.
In my experience some parents from broken families do all sorts of things for no apparent reason.
I've never done that but unfortunately some do. I openly encouraged my kids to maintain a relationship with their father and his side of the family.
Hope you soon get it sorted OP.

And what would be the point of it? Unless you are suggesting that she lied, but made sure that a friend would post on facebook AND that friend is also friend with OP on facebook. Yes, of course possible, but I'm sure if she was so desperate to be spiteful to OP, she could do better than that, especially when she is in the middle of planning her wedding!

FBaby · 31 May 2013 at 4:37PM

duchy wrote: »

It does seems strange that neither of the children have responded to the messages their father has sent ..........or indeed that if the bride travelled out with friends and family that there is not one person in the party (or even family at home like ex-in laws) the OP has been able to contact to gain reassurance about the children.

I think there is a lot more to this family dynamic than the OP is letting on

Actually picking up on this, indeed, if OP found out on facebook from the 'friend' surely his first response would have been to contact her and ask what was going on? Or maybe I missed something as didn't read the entire thread, was too busy being abroad on holiday with my two kids, but thankfully for me, their dad trusts me completely, so didn't feel the need to be in contact with them during that time and will be happy to find out all about their holiday when they go to see him tonight.

Acc72 · 31 May 2013 at 4:40PM

Molly41 wrote: »

safe.

Perhaps she lied to you because she knew you would kick up a stink and refuse to allow them to go.

I just started to read this thread and noticed that the above comment had 27 likes.

I wonder how many likes it would have got if the OP was female talking about her ex-husband ?

Dimey · 31 May 2013 at 4:56PM

I guess the Ex wife and children are home today. Hope Moon Wax comes back next week to let us know why the Ex lied and didn't return his calls. What they agree to do in future.

Hope the children had a great time.

Hope Moon Wax can rest easy now.

janninew · 31 May 2013 at 5:01PM

So due back today and Moonwax started to thread on Monday, seems to me that there were in the USA for 5/6 days, not the the 'assumed' 2 weeks, I hope they did get to Disney but doesn't see, likely in such a short holiday.

FBaby · 31 May 2013 at 5:03PM

Acc72 wrote: »

I just started to read this thread and noticed that the above comment had 27 likes.

I wonder how many likes it would have got if the OP was female talking about her ex-husband ?

Exactly the same from me. As a matter of fact, there was such a thread not long ago about a pwc saying that she had an issue with the nrp taking the children abroad and her wanting to prevent it, and I think she got told by most that unless she genuinely feared for their safety, she had no right to prevent it.

Another thing I am confused about (again, apologies if bought up already!), but why did the mother showed flights confirmation to OP? Did OP asked for it? If so why? If not, why did she feel compelled to show them to OP? It is a strange thing to request when you have no intention to cause trouble. I certainly never even thought of showing any documentation to my ex and he has never asked for any.

It definitely sounds like there is more to it than what we are reading here.

duchy · 31 May 2013 at 5:09PM

Acc72 wrote: »

I just started to read this thread and noticed that the above comment had 27 likes.

I wonder how many likes it would have got if the OP was female talking about her ex-husband ?

What an insightful and useful remark that is

Looking at some of the OP's remarks about his wife (glad she's not a scrounging single parent anymore etc) I could quite understand why a woman would not bother telling an ex with a record of nasty remarks- about her wedding plans .....however equally I could also see a man taking his (non resident) kids on holiday and not telling their mother that whilst on holiday he was getting married. Why let an ex take the shine off

I don't think this is a gender issue at all ....more of a control issue evidenced by the NRP insisting he had the flight and hotel details before the family went on holiday. My ex always knew where and roughly when we were away but unless he was picking our son up direct from the airport for his weekend visit he never had our exact flight details (and I doubt it would have occurred to him to ask)

duchy · 31 May 2013 at 5:13PM

janninew wrote: »

So due back today and Moonwax started to thread on Monday, seems to me that there were in the USA for 5/6 days, not the the 'assumed' 2 weeks, I hope they did get to Disney but doesn't see, likely in such a short holiday.

"Disney" is a short hop from Las Vegas -four and a half hours by road and even less by air (there is more than one "Disney" in the USA) so it is entirely possible they did both.

Odds are they went for a week over half term.

coolcait · 31 May 2013 at 8:32PM

paulineb wrote: »

...

And having read back the thread, I may be wrong and someone can correct me if I am, but it looks like unless a court was involved that she didnt legally need to tell him where they were going at all.

No, it's the other way round. If there has been no court involvement (keeping the definition loose), then the law says that you are committing an offence if you take the child out of the UK without the consent of any other person who has parental responsibility.

If a residence order is in place, in your favour, then you can take the child out of the country for up to one month.

Child Abduction Act 1984

I can't comment on the level of detail required to obtain that consent. There has been plenty of discussion about the apparent dearth of policing this legal requirement.

The Act does give a number of 'get out clauses' which say that a person doesn't commit an offence if they take a child out of the UK without the appropriate consent, but [the Act fills in the gaps]

.....

Ive just read about the disneyland explosion, it involved two water bottles filled with dry ice. People were evacuated as a precaution, no one was injured and some people said that they had ringing in their ears. Thankfully it wasnt worse but I think the OP ca..n be assured that even if the kids were in the area, no one was hurt.

The OP did basically say that he had read more details of the incident, and was aware that it was minor - but he was telling us about the immediate emotional impact of reading a headline which said 'explosion in the place where my kids are supposed to be'

Just to clarify one of my earlier posts - it was airline staff who 'stopped' me, rather than immigration. Some of the fine detail was lost in a late night posting, about an early morning flight nearly a decade ago

.

I can actually understand why the airline official might have done it. Our route was MSE before its time - but that meant that it wasn't the most obvious or sensible route. And our ultimate destination in the US was well, well away from the tourist track. I think she did the right thing in 'challenging' me.

As for a comment by another poster, immigration authorities control leaving the country as well as entering it. One reason for stopping someone from leaving might be if the immigration authorities suspected that an offence had been, or was being, committed.