Ex wife lied to where she has taken kids abroad. Where do i stand?

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

No, but the California one is less than a day's drive away and is often combined with a trip to LV.

Going to the west coast of the US for 5 days would be bonkers though, the jet lag/time difference is bad enough going to the east coast for that short a period.

I know the OP isn't going to come back, but I can't believe anybody would plan a big family holiday to the US for just 5 days. I don't think we've got anything like enough information to speculate about what's gone on here.

Person_one

[quote=[Deleted User];61530679]OP - With you all the way on this one.

Ignore the 'girl power' wolfpack that a lot of posters on this forum seem to be part of.

Imagine if genders were reversed. You can guarantee the same posters would be going on about the 'evil man' sneaking his kids away to marry some 'slapper' and how the poor mother was stuck at home worried sick.[/QUOTE]


You're a bit late, I marked 'what if the OP was a woman' on my MSE bingo card ages ago.

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

Going to the west coast of the US for 5 days would be bonkers though, the jet lag/time difference is bad enough going to the east coast for that short a period.

I know the OP isn't going to come back, but I can't believe anybody would plan a big family holiday to the US for just 5 days. I don't think we've got anything like enough information to speculate about what's gone on here.

I think it's mad, you think it'd mad but it seems as if that's what she's done.

coolcait

Despite my calm and phlegmatic board demeanour (:rotfl:) I am an inveterate worrier.

Many people seem to be quite happy with the idea that they don't need to know where their children are, when they are in the care of the other parent.

Fair enough. Even an inveterate worrier can cope with that.

They also seem to be quite happy with the idea that the other parent can say "oh the kids are in place 'x'", when they're actually in place "y". After all, they say, if there's an emergency, you'll find out about it anyway.

Fair enough.

But what happens if there's an emergency in place 'x', and you're going mad with worry - not knowing that the kids are actually in place 'y'? Especially if the other parent is blissfully living life in place 'y' - unaware that place 'x' is a scene of devastation - and doesn't bother to phone and say "We're all fine, don't worry!!"

Yeah, it's a response based on my fears, prejudices and personal experiences. So it fits in very well with much of the thread.

Dunroamin

coolcait wrote: »

Despite my calm and phlegmatic board demeanour (:rotfl:) I am an inveterate worrier.

Many people seem to be quite happy with the idea that they don't need to know where their children are, when they are in the care of the other parent.

Fair enough. Even an inveterate worrier can cope with that.

They also seem to be quite happy with the idea that the other parent can say "oh the kids are in place 'x'", when they're actually in place "y". After all, they say, if there's an emergency, you'll find out about it anyway.

Fair enough.

But what happens if there's an emergency in place 'x', and you're going mad with worry - not knowing that the kids are actually in place 'y'? Especially if the other parent is blissfully living life in place 'y' - unaware that place 'x' is a scene of devastation - and doesn't bother to phone and say "We're all fine, don't worry!!"

Yeah, it's a response based on my fears, prejudices and personal experiences. So it fits in very well with much of the thread.

Look on the bright side. If there's an energency in place "y" you won't worry because you won't know that your kids are there.:D

coolcait

On the legal side.

It does appear - as other posters have pointed out - that it is necessary to have the agreement of all people with parental repsonsibility before taking a child abroad.

So, those posters who have said that they never obtained agreement to take their child abroad are no doubt talking about a time before this was a necessity; or a situation where no-one else had parental responsibility; or a case where there was some kind of court ruling which made it unnecessary to get agreement from the other(s) who had parental responsibility.

If all that is required is a statement that "I am taking the child(ren) to the United States of America/North America/the continents of the Americas", then it's surprising to learn that the OP's ex went into detail about 'Orlando, Florida'.

If there is an expectation that there should be detailed information on destinations and landline contact numbers, then I think the OP has reason to criticise his ex about lying.

Even if he is as controlling as has been suggested.

coolcait

Dunroamin wrote: »

Look on the bright side. If there's an energency in place "y" you won't worry because you won't know that your kids are there.:D

That's a bright side?

My children, in an emergency situation, and I'm saying - apparently with a :

"Well, at least I don't need to worry about my kids, because they're in place 'x' - thank God!"

I'm sure that - all joking aside - you can imagine the emotional impact that kind of situation could have on someone, when they realise that their kids were in place 'y' all along.

An emotional impact which would have been entirely unnecessary if other people had been honest.

Dunroamin

coolcait wrote: »

That's a bright side?

My children, in an emergency situation, and I'm saying - apparently with a :

"Well, at least I don't need to worry about my kids, because they're in place 'x' - thank God!"

I'm sure that - all joking aside - you can imagine the emotional impact that kind of situation could have on someone, when they realise that their kids were in place 'y' all along.

An emotional impact which would have been entirely unnecessary if other people had been honest.

Obviously an optimist/pessimist thing. (And the was me, not you.)

peachyprice

coolcait wrote: »

On the legal side.

It does appear - as other posters have pointed out - that it is necessary to have the agreement of all people with parental repsonsibility before taking a child abroad.

So, those posters who have said that they never obtained agreement to take their child abroad are no doubt talking about a time before this was a necessity; or a situation where no-one else had parental responsibility; or a case where there was some kind of court ruling which made it unnecessary to get agreement from the other(s) who had parental responsibility.

If all that is required is a statement that "I am taking the child(ren) to the United States of America/North America/the continents of the Americas", then it's surprising to learn that the OP's ex went into detail about 'Orlando, Florida'.

If there is an expectation that there should be detailed information on destinations and landline contact numbers, then I think the OP has reason to criticise his ex about lying.

Even if he is as controlling as has been suggested.

Necessary for who? Certainly not the authorities, they don't give a hoot unless there is already a flight risk marker on the child's passport.

Not once, in the 16 years since separating and taking our children overseas have I ever been asked for a piece of paper from my ex giving permission to take the children abroad, neither has he. It appears to be one of those pieces of legislation that only matters after the fact.

If it were that an important document you'd think that there would at least be a place for it in the child's passport and you would think that children travelling would be checked before leaving the country and you would think that it would form part of the divorce proceedings concerning the welfare of the children.

And no, I'm not talking about a different time, or different circumstances, I'm talking about the here and now.

paulineb_2

[quote=[Deleted User];61530679]OP - With you all the way on this one.

Ignore the 'girl power' wolfpack that a lot of posters on this forum seem to be part of.

Imagine if genders were reversed. You can guarantee the same posters would be going on about the 'evil man' sneaking his kids away to marry some 'slapper' and how the poor mother was stuck at home worried sick.[/QUOTE]

With any post, I give an opinion based on the information in front of me.

Im certainly not part of any wolf pack. Nothing to do with girl power as far as Im concerned.

I also dont refer to people as "slappers".