Would you tell?

MrsDrink

I wouldn't not tell. I think that is the difference. I wouldn't feel like I couldn't tell him, but at the same time I wouldn't feel like I *had* to tell him.

I wouldn't be sat on the edge of the sofa waiting for him to come home, and the moment the door opens, rushing to tell him. At the same time I also wouldn't deliberately be withholding it, and keeping it a secret. If it came up in conversation in a "how's your day been?" kinda way - fine.

It's one of those "meh" things.

In the same way I wouldn't need to know if someone made a pass on MrD.

FBaby

I think in this situation, I would have told, not in rushing home shouting 'guess what happened', but talking about the evening, that I had a good time, but it was a pity it had ended as it did.

However, I didn't bother to tell my partner than a guy I used to date some time ago got in touch with me recently. I didn't because he just sent me a message via a website I had never heard of, which I only clicked on when I had a reminder saying the message would be deleted soon, then realised I needed to register to the site to read it, and thought stuff this, not bothered. If I had read it, I would either have ignored it, or written back to say 'nice to hear from you, life is great my way, getting married in a few months'.

Should I have said something? Will I if one day we start discussing people from our past or something similar? I really don't know.

About two years in our relationship, my man announced in the middle of the conversation, totally matter of factly, that he had run into an ex of his whilst having breakfast somewhere and that they had talked for a few minutes. I appreciated he had told me, but when after that I convinced myself he was getting a bit more protective of his phone than usual, I started becoming paranoid that they were messaging each other. 2 years later, I really don't think it was the case, but the mind can be a big trouble maker, and that is why I understand the temptation just to keep our mouth shut.

In the end, it is always a risk. If he'd said nothing, but I'd found out that they had run into each other (which could have easily happened as our children have become good friends!), I might have got suspicious he hadn't mentioned it. This is why, either way, it all comes down to trust, pure and simple.

Cooper18

southcoastrgi wrote: »

I guess it depends what you mean by a "pass" if he just asked her out then i'd agree with the way you have delt with it, but if it was any more i think i'd be having a word in his shell like, but yes i'd want to know

Lol! Haven't heard that phrase in years!! (Having a word in his shell).:rotfl:

He put his arm round her waist and tried to kiss her. She's lucky she knew him and likes him or else he would've had to have her knee surgically removed from his gentleman's apparatus.

seven-day-weekend

Cooper18 wrote: »

My OH was out for dinner and drinks last night with a few of her colleagues. She wasn't drinking herself as she had to drive home. One of her male colleagues walked her to her car and then made a pass at her. She politely brushed him off, came home and told me. I have no problem, I trust her so feel like I don't have to trust every man that is alone with her. Shes an attractive woman so i cant blame him! Apparently the guy is mortified and blaming the Dutch courage. He has confessed his sins to the others in their department, while my OH was prepared to keep her mouth shut and spare his blushes. They get on well, I know him vaguely and bear him no grudge.

The thing I don't get is that all the women in her team were gob smacked she told me. They said they would have kept their mouths shut.

In the same situation ladies, would you tell? And gents, wold you want to be told?

Yes, I would tell. I would be as open and honest as your wife has been, because our relationship is based on honesty and sharing. We'd probably have a laugh about it, with my husband threatening to cut off his parts

peachyprice

Just as interesting, is why would/wouldn't you tell?

I would tell because my OH and I would have a laugh about it, he quite likes that other men acknowledge that he's done alright for himself, it would then be a standing joke.

But I notice that some would tell because they would be upset by the pass and would want their OH to leap to their defence.

I also notice that some wouldn't tell purely because their OH's would be angry with them, which makes no sense, or with the man.

Threebabes

I would tell my hubby, he would probably have a good laugh about it.

I would want to know if my hubby was asked out, especially as we have been together 20 year. I dont think he would tell me.....

Orlando_Virgin

Cooper18 wrote: »

I didn't make a poll at work, they're not my colleagues, they're hers. We don't work in the same place. I'm a little disappointed her colleagues would want her to keep a secret from me, but won't hold it against them. I'm not curious to see the guy, I vaguely recall meeting him previously when our two teams met up at a conference. I admit I might laugh if he's squirming the next time he sees me, but have no intention of treating him any differently. And I posted here because thanks to her colleagues I thought our relationship was a little weird! :rotfl: Im still not sure on that front!

See that's where you're a bigger man than I am, it would annoy me quite a bit that the people at her work would encourage her to keep it a secret. It annoys me when others try to influence someone who in my opinion has done entirely the right thing. I'm not saying it would, but it COULD dissuade your OH from doing the same if it ever happened again.

I think you've both handled it brill to be honest, I actually think more of the guy who tried it on and apologised than I do her colleagues who are telling her to keep it to herself. At least he had the balls to show some honesty and regret.

PolishBigSpender

Of course I would tell, and we would have a right laugh at the poor guy's expense :P

pops5588

It's always best to tell. The second you make a conscious decision to keep that information to yourself, it goes from meaning nothing to meaning something.

Rottensocks

Nope, I'd def tell my partner.