Would you tell?

angelil

What the others have said. A similar thing once happened to me a few years ago and I told my husband (not husband at the time...not that it makes a difference...) ASAP. It doesn't make sense not to!

Cooper18

justme111 wrote: »

You seem to read a lot into it , just married ?:)

Lol! Not quite, been together 19 years - does that count as new?!:D

Curious you think I've read a lot into it, I thought I'd done just the opposite. Just found it odd that the majority of her colleagues wouldn't have told their fellas/husbands.

Cooper18

Tropez wrote: »

a female asked me out for a date and I obviously declined

How'd you know it was a date? And not just a platonic thing? My OH is out one on one with other guys about once a month - not that many would consider motocrossing a date, but they have dinner beforehand. She met her best biking mate through work, he was divorced at the time but is now married and my OH is god mother to their daughter.

paulineb_2

I have no idea whether I would tell someone if someone made a pass at me, if someone was pestering me on a regular basis then probably yes, also you need to take into account that not all partnerships are built on trust, Im sure there are many women and men who if they went home with a story like that to tell, they might get rather a lot of grief for it.

Personally, Im not sure Id see it as flattering, someone making a drunken pass at me, whether they knew I had a partner or not.

Tropez

Cooper18 wrote: »

How'd you know it was a date? And not just a platonic thing?

A combination of who she was, how she asked and the suggested activities.

In my experience few women ask a man out in a platonic fashion and include the words "and maybe back to my place with some wine after".

justme111

Cooper18 wrote: »

Lol! Not quite, been together 19 years - does that count as new?!:D

Curious you think I've read a lot into it, I thought I'd done just the opposite. Just found it odd that the majority of her colleagues wouldn't have told their fellas/husbands.

You thought enough of it so as to make a poll at work , to change your opinion on the personality of work colleges on a basis of that poll, a post here and now curious to see the guy who committed a blunder. That's compared with your wife forgetting about it a minute later or you just saying " haha , what's for dinner" if she mentioned it is a lot. I might not have.told a husband for the same reasons I may.not tell him when someone has not indicated turn while driving today or report on the frequency with which I been to toilet today.
So I was wrong with the reason of readi.g too much into it

Callie22

A work colleague of mine asked me out a while back and I told my OH. I personally would feel dishonest not to, if I kept it to myself then it would feel like I had something to hide.

Cooper18

justme111 wrote: »

You thought enough of it so as to make a poll at work , to change your opinion on the personality of work colleges on a basis of that poll, a post here and now curious to see the guy who committed a blunder. That's compared with your wife forgetting about it a minute later or you just saying " haha , what's for dinner" if she mentioned it is a lot. I might not have.told a husband for the same reasons I may.not tell him when someone has not indicated turn while driving today or report on the frequency with which I been to toilet today.
So I was wrong with the reason of readi.g too much into it

I didn't make a poll at work, they're not my colleagues, they're hers. We don't work in the same place. I'm a little disappointed her colleagues would want her to keep a secret from me, but won't hold it against them. I'm not curious to see the guy, I vaguely recall meeting him previously when our two teams met up at a conference. I admit I might laugh if he's squirming the next time he sees me, but have no intention of treating him any differently. And I posted here because thanks to her colleagues I thought our relationship was a little weird! :rotfl: Im still not sure on that front!

tattycath

I'd tell my DH too.
He was propositioned on his stag night. ((We had a joint stag and hen night) and he'd only gone to the loo and was on his way back to te table when he was 'approached'. He told me straight away. It's flattering when someone finds your partner attractive and you know they are going home with you. IYSWIM.

jetplane

I agree with justme, someone making a pass is insignificant and I'm not sure that it's worth mentioning every time it happens, like you say people are very tactile and forward these days and your wife can look after herself. I may not mention it unless it was repeated and I felt uncomfortable. And if it really doesn't bother you then why can you not wait to see him again, why will you look at her colleagues differently and why would you have a word if he does it again? He has apologised and that's the end of it.