Feeling disgusted and upset

kittiej

I think 365 days might have a point - I just had the image pop into my mind of that film with Rowan Atkinson who is a vicar and Maggie smith is the new nanny. There is a woman on there who always wants his attention by discussing church flowers (it's the Grandma off Royle Family)

Anyway you must be the alpha female, someone else said ignore the bad behaviour, or, simply just ignore altogether. Who cares as long as your daughter is enjoying herself? Maybe if you stay away she will have exactly what she wants *shrugs*

valk_scot

Hushpuppie wrote: »

no this is voluntary..she should be professional consdering shes a teacher

So, she's not being paid, she's a volunteer giving up her free time to a community group. As (presumably) are the other members of the committee? Do they get free child places instead, or do they have to pay the same per child as all the other parents that are doing no work to support the group?

Who made the rule then that only the committee has to clear up? I would have said that in a volunteer run non-profit making situation like this, ALL parents should be required to pitch in to help regularly, to the extent of having a rota of say three extra helpers every day to assist with setting up and clearing away. That's what used to happen at our playgroup, you had to commit to being a helper x days per month when you applied and were given a place, there was a rota and if for some reason you couldn't attend that day you supplied someone else like granny. If you skived off your place in the rota regularly with no good reason your child's place wasn't renewed for the next term.

That always used to be the norm anyway. Perhaps your OH wasn't aware of this sort of thing when he set up the group? It does seem extremely unfair that the committee does it all, no wonder they're looking for more people! Maybe the leader took on the role expecting that everyone would help and has now found herself doing more than her fair share, if so no wonder she's grumpy!

I think there needs to be some sort of frank discussion about all of this between your OH, the committee and the parents using the playgroup tbh. It should actually have been set out in black and white when the constitution was written and the rules handed out to parents when they applied for a place.

Calien27

What's wrong with helping to tidy up a little bit, or at least asking if they want a hand? Just because it was "decided" by whoever and your husband doesn't mind you not pitching in doesn't mean you shouldn't at least offer to help, it is the polite thing to do after all.

System

I'm with Pigpen on this i hate Mother and Toddler groups with a passion. A lot of Mums use it as a place to hang out with their mates and have a gossip. Somewhere where their own homes dont get trashed whilst the kids run riot.

However, i did take my kids to a Mother and Toddler group when they were little. It was based at the Church that i went to (every Tuesday afternoons 1-3 if my memory serves me correctly). We all helped set it up, all helped putting the stuff away.

I'm surprised you didnt stop to help put the stuff away. After using the facility to entertain your child, it would have been polite to offer to help tidy up afterwards.

I think you were really mean to leave it to others.

Hushpuppie_2

Calien27 wrote: »

What's wrong with helping to tidy up a little bit, or at least asking if they want a hand? Just because it was "decided" by whoever and your husband doesn't mind you not pitching in doesn't mean you shouldn't at least offer to help, it is the polite thing to do after all.

yes i know but they the commitee say they had enough help

Calien27

Hushpuppie wrote: »

yes i know but they the commitee say they had enough help

So you did offer to help? Or did they say that once and you've just assumed they won't ever appreciate an extra pair of hands?

System

you could have still offered.

Hushpuppie_2

Judi wrote: »

I'm with Pigpen on this i hate Mother and Toddler groups with a passion. A lot of Mums use it as a place to hang out with their mates and have a gossip. Somewhere where their own homes dont get trashed whilst the kids run riot.

However, i did take my kids to a Mother and Toddler group when they were little. It was based at the Church that i went to (every Tuesday afternoons 1-3 if my memory serves me correctly). We all helped set it up, all helped putting the stuff away.

I'm surprised you didnt stop to help put the stuff away. After using the facility to entertain your child, it would have been polite to offer to help tidy up afterwards.

I think you were really mean to leave it to others.

if you read post i said i was not well and only went for toddlers sake

balletshoes

Hushpuppie wrote: »

if you read post i said i was not well and only went for toddlers sake

yep - and so what? you're not well, toddler group leader had a bad day. So neither of you saw the best of each other yesterday.

I really don't think its worth getting in a strop about - I wouldn't even be dwelling on it a couple of hours after getting home, never mind the next day.

Treevo

It seems the OP is on a one woman mission to alienate herself and her child from the entire community and her poor husband is doing everything he can to mitigate it.

I'll probably be reported for this but it might be time to have a chat with your GP because your reactions aren't quite all there.