Feeling disgusted and upset

Cornish_piskie

Tell you what OP, if you do pull your little one out of the playgroup, you will be seen as the 'Chairman's' missus who didn't like to be pulled up on not even offering to box up a few toys and then throwing a paddy. People will talk about you in a negative way, like it or not - it's the way of the world. Far better to swallow your pride, take little one to group next week and then - in a loud voice if you like - say at the end 'now ladies of the Committee, is there anything I can do to help before I leave?'. That will probably induce other mums to lend a hand too and the clearing up will be done in a jiffy and no one will feel put out

trevorsminted

Never mind the childishness behaviour (and I'm not even talking about the kids) but some husband what a spineless cretin and some marriage where you think he will go along with her to keep the peace, god I would be divorcing the weak pafetic specimen!

Shushannah

Hushpuppie wrote: »

she volunteered to run!!no one forced her and she admitted she had enough help yday so i dont understand her outburst..if she thinks (and i dont)that im being different because my husand set it up then she is being silly...ive always said i dont wish to be on commitee just a parent taking toddler to playgroup

I don't get this. Why do you think it is Ok for only the committee members to tidy up? Why do you get to not tidy because you've chosen not to be on the committee?

It comes across as if you want only the benefits none of the effort.

My youngest is 16, so maybe things have changed. But not doing your share of the work at these voluntary groups was always a major social faux pas.

POPPYOSCAR

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Fragile? Doubtful. I put her semi-coherence plus poor spelling and punctuation down to sheer red-misted anger.

Being angry is OK when someone has been unnecessarily rude to you but all the rest she described is just plain daft. Maybe once she's had a chance to calm down a bit she might be able to see that. I most certainly wouldn't want to jeopardise any chance of making friendships in a new neighbourhood over something so very trivial

Or English might not be her first language?

meer53

When my kids went to playgroup, i never left without offering to help tidy up or wash up cups and things. Even if there were loads of people there, it's common courtesy to ask if help is needed isn't it ? Even more so if your husband set the group up, i would feel even more obliged to lend a hand. Or is that just me ?

balletshoes

Hushpuppie wrote: »

all other parents just look after their own then go home with kids.nobody else seems to get shouted at!.commitee members do setting and clearing up
i agree im not happy with my daughter being there with her being nice one minute then blanking us..shes SUPPOSED to be the proffesional

she called after you, once, as you were leaving. You haven't said anything about her shouting at you! You were having a bad day, she might have been having a bad day too.

Its nothing to do with anyone else, its between you and her. I would go back, have fun with my child at the playgroup, and if you get the chance, quietly and in private, ask this woman if there was a problem last time, did she expect you to help, even though you're not on the committee.

Seriously, you're going to have to toughen up if you're going to get through the primary school years!

Hushpuppie_2

meer53 wrote: »

When my kids went to playgroup, i never left without offering to help tidy up or wash up cups and things. Even if there were loads of people there, it's common courtesy to ask if help is needed isn't it ? Even more so if your husband set the group up, i would feel even more obliged to lend a hand. Or is that just me ?

no i dont feel obliged my husband is fine with this..its a new group and commitee decided they do all the packing up
and yes she should if she wanted help

balletshoes

Toothfairy4 wrote: »

It might be 'the norm' that the committee members do the tidying up, but i would say its just manners to lend a hand, especially when these people are volunteers and children can go there for free!

I agree, I would certainly ask if I could do anything to help out - its for everyone's benefit really isn't it.

*max*

I think your anger comes from shame tbh. There must have been a part of your mind that thought you should help, or at least ask if they needed help before leaving, but you ignored it because it would have been too much bother. And you were pulled on it, like a child who gets berated by a "teacher".

She shouldn't have shouted, but maybe it wasn't the first time it happened; maybe she's sick of seeing parents enjoy the playgroup yet contribute nothing to the tidying up afterwards, and you just happened to be in her line of sight. Yes, she was wrong, but it's not a big deal. Get over it and go back, but next time ask if you can help beofr leaving. In the grand scheme of things, this is positively trivial!

mcja

We used to tidy up before sing song and then everyone who could walk could help. Then a few people put things in the store cupboard after the session.