Feeling disgusted and upset

FBaby

Hushpuppie wrote: »

im 200% sure because i didnt help as there were plenty helping and its been going for a month she knows im not on commitee my husband didnt assure her as he knew i was unwell and may not of gone yday

Do you have to be on the committee to help, or just a parent of one of the child who attends the session?

kjmtidea

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

Sometimes when you're running a group you are so busy you can come across as blanking people when you are just trying to get things done.

I run a parent and toddler group. A couple of years ago a women, who attended the group every now and then, arrived. No one else had arrived to help and I was busy setting up the tables, getting out the climbing frame and then some boxes of toys. She sat at a table with her daughter doing jigsaw puzzles and there was no offer of help. This was quite early on and there were only 4 or 5 adults present. I did not speak to anyone as I was focused on getting set up. I like to get the big things out before the room gets too full.

I decided I would go and get the last box out before going over to chat to her. I went down to the toy cupboard to get it and went I returned she had gone. She never came back. I heard through a friend that I had blanked her and made her feel unwelcome. I was sorry that she felt like this, but I was focused on setting up the room before people arrived. I would have said "Hello" if she had made eye contact, but she didn't.

So try to look at it from her side too. She might be horrified that you think she blanked you, I know I was. I have also said "Thanks for helping" as people leave, usually to those who have helped. However, I have made a mistake before and said it to someone who hadn't helped, luckily I don't think she took offence as she still comes!

This makes me sad , I know you didn't intentionally blank her but I know that feeling and it is horrible. I have been to so many unwelcoming toddler groups that I am now so paranoid about leaving people out at the toddler group I help out with. I watch the door like a hawk for newbies and talk to everyone :rotfl:

Springbean

Sounds like you have overreacted

Why don't you help at all?

I don't think that it's fair to drag your husband into this as he has worked towards it. It might be nice if you made an effort too and helped out a bit once in a while?

kittiej

What do the other parents have to do when they attend the playgroup?

Is it only the committee members who are expected to tidy up etc? I would be expecting to supervise my children and not be tidying up if that's how the other parents behave.

Something has gone awry with the ground rules and since you aren't a committee member then you should be treated like any other parent.

We need a bit more info really.

Hushpuppie_2

FBaby wrote: »

Is this a voluntary play group or do people have to pay for their child? If so, do you pay? If not and it is run by all parents helping out, why do you think you shouldn't have to help too?

I think you need to reflect on this rather than getting on your high horse. Her comment was clearly the reflection that she feels you are not pulling her weight when others are. Does she have a point? Are you taking the attitude that because your husband set it up, you shouldn't have to do anything to help the running of it?

Your response to her comment was very childish. Why couldn't you just respond 'oh I'm very sorry, I wasn't thinking and realised how busy you were, how can I help'.She would probably have apologised then, said she was just a bit under pressure and your help would indeed be greatly appreciated. End of the issue.

its voluntry and i couldnt respond because she shouted after me and walked back in i was already outside plus she admitted she DID have enough help...i saw them packing
also commitee members do the helping she knows im not on it
she has always whinged from day one about all issues

Cornish_piskie

It's been a few years since I've attended playgroup (mine are 13 and 7 now) but it was always the way that the 'last mums standing' all pitched in to clear the hall, store the large toys, box up the smaller toys in 'like for like' boxes (eg all musical instruments together) and wash up the juice cups/tea and coffee mugs. My kids loved this bit of extra play time as it meant they could hurtle up and down the hall unfettered by toys lying on the floor :rotfl: There were always some mums who seemed to have to 'dash off' just as the packing up began :cool: but we just got on with it.

Really I think the play leader made a fuss of it but equally what was actually stopping you from pitching in?

My comments are all supposing this is a not-for-profit playgroup - if this woman and committee members are being paid for their services then that does change things

barbarawright

If you think she isn't the right sort of person to run the playgroup, why don't you take more of a part in the organisation? You say she's always whinging but aren't you doing the same about her?

Hushpuppie_2

kittiej wrote: »

What do the other parents have to do when they attend the playgroup?

Is it only the committee members who are expected to tidy up etc? I would be expecting to supervise my children and not be tidying up if that's how the other parents behave.

Something has gone awry with the ground rules and since you aren't a committee member then you should be treated like any other parent.

We need a bit more info really.[/QUOTll
all other parents just look after their own then go home with kids.nobody else seems to get shouted at!.commitee members do setting and clearing up
i agree im not happy with my daughter being there with her being nice one minute then blanking us..shes SUPPOSED to be the proffesional

Hushpuppie_2

Cornish_piskie wrote: »

It's been a few years since I've attended playgroup (mine are 13 and 7 now) but it was always the way that the 'last mums standing' all pitched in to clear the hall, store the large toys, box up the smaller toys in 'like for like' boxes (eg all musical instruments together) and wash up the juice cups/tea and coffee mugs. My kids loved this bit of extra play time as it meant they could hurtle up and down the hall unfettered by toys lying on the floor :rotfl: There were always some mums who seemed to have to 'dash off' just as the packing up began :cool: but we just got on with it.

Really I think the play leader made a fuss of it but equally what was actually stopping you from pitching in?

My comments are all supposing this is a not-for-profit playgroup - if this woman and committee members are being paid for their services then that does change things

its non profit

gingin_2

Hushpuppie wrote: »

shes SUPPOSED to be the proffesional

Have I missed this part? Is she being paid?