Affair, can't forget

aileth

Hi OP,

I've glanced over this thread very briefly so if I get some things wrong I'm very sorry, but from what I have read your wife seems very much like my mother. The comments that she was texting you from the cottage seemed like deja vu, as the last time my parents had a mini split (it only lasted one night) she was texting the same to me (my dad doesn't use his phone), things such as, "I hope your dad is having fun at home", and, "I hope he's having a lovely relaxing evening while I'm stuck in this B&B", but then she'd switch around and it'd become all 'poor me' and hinting that she wants to be invited back, my dad invited her back and she laughed in his face. He had no idea what to do.

My mum also has the most awful temper. It has become really bad in the past five years or so because she is borderline alcoholic, in fact she probably is an alcoholic by now. I just don't really like calling my mum an alcoholic, you know? She will kick off at the mildest thing, say for example she asks my dad to nip to the shop for a bottle of chardonnay, he comes back with pinot grigio, he might as well be stood at the gallows.

Or for example if we come to stay, my dad has got the job of cleaning the bathroom, he is busy with his online business and can't step away, she will kick off and make it seem like we are the ones offended he didn't clean the bathroom, "Aileth and her husband are going to be so offended and repulsed that you haven't taken the time to clean the bathroom", when we really couldn't give two sh*ts because their bathroom is cleaner than ours even when it's dirty.

My dad sounds very much like you. He keeps his head down, tries to stay out of it just to live the quiet life, not to rock the boat. If he did, I would say 110% they'd be divorced.

She has also been having an 'affair' of sorts. It's not physical or sexual; it's emotional. She met a fella on some online game and has basically fallen in love with him. She denies it of course and then accuses us of not allowing her to have any friends. She met him in real life and according to my sister he brought his gorgeous brazilian gf along and my mother spent the entire night glaring at her as if she was going to strangle her.

Sometimes she has left her email open on an email she's sent and a blind/deaf person could tell she was in love with him. If he doesn't respond to her emails within 24 hours, she will drink two bottles of wine, start sobbing uncontrollably and break down into hysterics. She will talk none-stop to my dad about him, how wonderful he is. Yes, she talks about her internet boyfriend to the father of her children, the guy who works full-time so she can work part-time, who brings in 95% of the household income and works himself into the ground, her husband. That is how much she respects my dad.

My dad knows all of this. He puts on a tough exterior, but I know it is killing him inside, but he also knows if he left my mum, she would probably be dead within 48 hours, or she would've run off to Lebanon or wherever her internet boyfriend is. We have told her to go to a counsellor, to get help, but she does not see that she has any problems and you can't force someone to do it.

It has been a painful few years seeing all of this happen, so I really empathise with you. You are incredibly brave for going to the counselling yourself and having the strength to work through it all. I have to say for myself, in one way I would actually not mind my parents breaking up, just so my dad can maybe meet someone else going into retirement, someone who doesn't treat him like doormat, but the other half of me still loves my mum, wants them to stay together and wishes she can sort herself out.

I'm sorry for the long post, but skimming I saw some talk of drinking, tempers, the things she had said and the affair, and it echoed a lot with me, so you know you are not alone

sukysue

Unctuous_turd sorry you didn't get the A level grades you wanted, if you had spent more time revising than trolling, perhaps you too would be a success. Never mind KFC need fodder all the time. I'm sure they have a niche role lined up for you.

kelpie35

uncomfortable_truth wrote: »

Have you noticed, any attack on me usually results in me attacking the OP? Carry on and I'll start PMing him.

But are you too thick to understand that it is his prerogative whither he reads them.:mad:

Tamsin_Temrin

I've come across Photoguy's theories in a few places, first time in a book called 'The Game'. Its theories and hypotheses to get lots of sex while still hating women. Quite often it works and the men get sex and continue to hate women.

They don't get relationships and tbh dont seem interested in relationships because they hate women but want sex. Thats their deal. As long as they stay legal it isnt my problem.

The theories arent peer reviewed, hard edged science but plausible and work in certain circumstances afaics. There are theories and hypotheses that say the opposite, particularly some of the evolutionary theories.

However as photoguy is coming on here attacking a man who is dealing with a relationship and is nothing to do with these theories, it does make it seem that they arent working as well as they should for photoguy. The repeated attacks seem to say a lot more about him, and not so much about waccoe. There is actually a lot of it about - lots of blogs about conquests etc and people saying really loudly and repeatedly that its really great and theyre really happy and that they are really good about it all and you should have seen the one I had last night, watsername.

btw - not a lot of experience of this, but the stuff Ive seen makes it look bad for your mental health (detachment and objectification arent always healthy) and you need to stay on top of sti checks.

Mods - happy for this to go when the next round of deletions happen but thought Id share for those keeping up.

Tamsin_Temrin

I should have looked, but uncomfortable truths other posts are on a thread about exam results. I was just trying to work out who had thanked him on this thread. Noone had.

Serve me right for looking.

Tamsin_Temrin

Why are you sad that girls have fallen for the techniques?

waccoe_2

Right, I am going to come out from under my desk.
Please, please please stop biting to this guys postings.
That is why he is still here.
I am not the least bit offended by what he has said, I am actually "laughing out loud".
You have all been brilliant with your support and advice but I really don't need any protection from this guy.
He is most welcome to send me a private message, I will look forward to the banter, but I will not respond to him on here, because that is what he wants.
Let him change his name as many times as he wants but just ignore his posts, please.
I am doing great and looking forward to a glass of wine and a take away with my lovely family.
I hope you all have a lovely night.
In the words of Nick Lowe, "what's so funny about peace, love and understanding". :beer:

MrsAtobe

Hope you have a lovely time tonight, waccoe. Enjoy!

victory

waccoe wrote: »

Right, I am going to come out from under my desk.
Please, please please stop biting to this guys postings.
That is why he is still here.
I am not the least bit offended by what he has said, I am actually "laughing out loud".
You have all been brilliant with your support and advice but I really don't need any protection from this guy.
He is most welcome to send me a private message, I will look forward to the banter, but I will not respond to him on here, because that is what he wants.
Let him change his name as many times as he wants but just ignore his posts, please.
I am doing great and looking forward to a glass of wine and a take away with my lovely family.
I hope you all have a lovely night.
In the words of Nick Lowe, "what's so funny about peace, love and understanding". :beer:

You deserve it, enjoy:D

June_Cambridge

Hello Waccoe, think about you often and wonder how its all going, are you still seeing the counsellor? Really hope everything is working out well for you and would love to hear the latest developments or just to let us all know that you are ok