do you go out on your own or with others?

balletshoes

panagia wrote: »

It is true about London. It's not at all unusual to see people by themselves in London, so you don't feel such an odd-one-out,

though even so I don't know if I would do somewhere touristy like Madame Tussauds on my own, as people tend to go in groups to that sort of thing.

again - I don't think you'd look like the odd one out at all at touristy things like Madame Tussauds, its a walk-round attraction, just like a museum really.

barbarawright

Even when I go with friends to museums we often split and meet in the cafe - two people rarely want to go round at the same speed. I went away last weekend with 20 people and there was still a fair amount of 'We'll all meet in the pub at 3' as people wanted to do different things.

saterkey

nice thread
a few suggestions if you want to go with people:

Volunteer, I found going to some events quite clicky but if you volunteer your services and help out you get to know the people there and you have something to do and don't feel so awquard etc. For instance, cats protection have pamper evenings, mann a stall, listen to the talk, buy some bits, have a chat and glass of wine, quite a nice night out without really trying too hard.
They also have nights out for volunteers like Christmas dinner out, monthly meetings at the pub, etc.


Woman and home - look for the forums, they have dinner threads for all areas, I have met up with ladies a few times, its hard but they try different restaurants, and once you get to know a few they can branch out on their own groups and go shopping, theatre, book groups even holidays together.

spice uk - paid socialising group not just for singles, about 12ukp a month fee, but go online and pay and just turn up at events, once a member you can see whos going and how many and try lots of events you wouldn't normally, from rambles, dinners out, I particularly liked the stunt man evening, where a very nice man in a suit told us about his adventures and we had a meal etc, I went on my own that night. You can go on holidays with them, weekends a way, badminton, tank driving you name it its mostly there, I was a member for about 6 years even though I had a partner.

Other groups like meet ups (just put this into google) and look for your area, its free.

Ramblers, lots of walks obviously.

solo and other singles groups, cant think of their names but they do holidays and theatre visits.

Try joining and helping out at a local theatre, youll get reduced tickets and maybe help out painting scenery etc so you get to know the people there.

I love to shop on my own and often take picnic to my favourite spot, do the shops and come back to read and eat by the car.

join a sport - back to netball im considering near me, for my sort of age group.....

think about the sorts of things you enjoy and just facebook your friends to see if anyone wants to go, you might be surprised.

good luck

fluffnutter

I always go to the cinema alone. I think it's weird that people see it as a social occasion. If I were into the theatre I'd do that alone too. Walking is an activity best enjoyed solo, as are all keep fit things like swimming, the gym etc. And shopping. Who on earth wants to shop with other people?? Far better when you can please yourself where you go.

Even stuff like dining out is OK. I often have lunch out with my little baby (who's rubbish at conversation) but even when I was pregnant, I used to go out and enjoy lunch on my own (morning sickness permitting ). If you're self-conscious, take a newspaper or book.

I think the rest of the world is far less interested in us social loners than you think. We might think that everyone is looking at us, thinking we're a little odd for being on our own, but, trust me, I bet they don't even notice. They're just going about their own business; they don't care what we're up to.

If you do want company then fair dos. Join some clubs, volunteer your time, look on the internet for similarly minded local people. But if you're happy to do stuff on your own (and why not?) then do it with your head high. It just shows you're independent, self-reliant and resourceful with a rich inner life. Never let lack of company stop you doing nice stuff

FatVonD

fluffnutter wrote: »

Even stuff like dining out is OK. I often have lunch out with my little baby (who's rubbish at conversation)

That's just reminded me, I used to go to the cafe for lunch every day when my son was a baby. The Italian owners would fuss over him and push the pram back and forth while I ate (gotta love the Italian attitude to kids in restaurants!)

Hermia

busiscoming2 wrote: »

I much prefer things like shopping on my own and like others will have lunch/coffee on my own. The same with visiting museums.

I am gearing up to trying the cinema on my own as DH hates films, but I was (until I read this thread) a bit worried about going on my own, thinking I'd feel a bit odd.

Go for it. TBH the cinema is the easiest place to go on your own as you are just sitting in silence in the dark! In a way it's an odd place to go with others.

aventurine

"Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape." - Bell Hooks

Gillyx

I love going places on my own, I actually revel in it and drag it out as long as I can It seldom happens for me so I really love it.

I usually have a toddler stuck to my leg 24/7 and rarely get to go to the toilet without company so once a month on one of my partners days off, I go off for a few hours to have a coffee and read, or go see a film I really wanted to see I sometimes get a bite to eat too.

I do sometimes go exercising on my own when I can, to the extent I get up super early to have that time out.

gibson123

fredtheguava wrote: »

Ouch. There's just me, I live alone, and to be honest, do most things alone outside of work. And there is PLENTY of joy in my life. I don't tell anyone every detail of my life and experience. For me, the joy comes from the experience itself, not from sharing it.

Yes, there are times when I choose to do things with others, but that doesn't make the things I do alone any less enjoyable. There is plenty of joy in my life, and I think it's a little harsh of you to say otherwise.

It's about validation isn't it? Some people need others to validate their experiences, as in it's not worth something unless some-one else recognises that it was. Others don't need that type of validation, the difference I think is in how comfortable you are in your own skin, ultimately it comes down to confidence, self esteem and a sense of maturity.

barbarawright

gibson123 wrote: »

It's about validation isn't it? Some people need others to validate their experiences, as in it's not worth something unless some-one else recognises that it was. Others don't need that type of validation, the difference I think is in how comfortable you are in your own skin, ultimately it comes down to confidence, self esteem and a sense of maturity.

For those who need validation, there's always Facebook (where I have been having a lengthy discussion about whether Chris Pine or Benedict Cumberbatch is hotter in Star Trek :rotfl:)