do you go out on your own or with others?

aridjis

paulineb wrote: »

And the alternative to going out on your own is? Staying in on your own.

Yes, this is it. I do usually feel better getting out of the house.

PasturesNew wrote: »

I don't like going out on my own. What people with a family at home fail to realise about it is they're making a choice and choosing to go out alone - and will then return home to share their experience.

Sharing of experiences, whether with somebody or alone, is what makes going out enjoyable. If it's just you, you live alone, do everything alone, always have to go places on your own, there's simply no "joy" in it. Especially if, when you go out, every time you're surrounded by people with friends/family .... and you can go out and wander round - but how often before you've done it all/seen it all and there's just no joy.

I'm quoting PasturesNew post because I think it might go some way to explaining why it is that I am uncomfortable going out alone now, whereas when I was younger living at home with lots of siblings and my parents, I never used to give it even a second thought.

I wonder, too, if your body language can give certain things away. If you're comfortable being out and about on your own, you're going to look different to someone who feels nervous or lonely and maybe looks a bit like they're in need of company.

barbarawright

I don't think to myself 'I'm on my own on a Thursday night, I'll go and sit in the pub' but I'm happy to go to pubs on my own when I'm out and about. Quiet corner, a book and wifi on my Kindle - nobody takes any notice at all. As for theatre - people tend to be quite chatty especially at fringe venues. Like Hermia, I feel sorry for people who miss out because they won't go on their own. The fact that I come back to an empty flat doesn't bother me at all - I can share my experience online or with friends or at work. I don't need someone to hold my hand all the time and living on one's own doesn't have to mean one doesn't have a social life

Hermia

panagia wrote: »

I wonder, too, if your body language can give certain things away. If you're comfortable being out and about on your own, you're going to look different to someone who feels nervous or lonely and maybe looks a bit like they're in need of company.

I definitely think body language plays a huge role. Face it, we judge people based on the message they give out.

For myself background plays a huge part. I grew up in London where restaurants and galleries are full of people on their own. You go into any central London cafe and you will see the hipster media types on their laptops and a lady who lunches having a rest from shopping and a middle-aged actor-type reading his book. So, going out on your own always looked terribly sophisticated and grown-up to me. I now live in a more rural area and it's a lot rarer to see people going somewhere on their own. I always wonder what people do who have odd interests or whose friends are all busy.

fredtheguava

PasturesNew wrote: »

Sharing of experiences, whether with somebody or alone, is what makes going out enjoyable. If it's just you, you live alone, do everything alone, always have to go places on your own, there's simply no "joy" in it.

Ouch. There's just me, I live alone, and to be honest, do most things alone outside of work. And there is PLENTY of joy in my life. I don't tell anyone every detail of my life and experience. For me, the joy comes from the experience itself, not from sharing it.

Yes, there are times when I choose to do things with others, but that doesn't make the things I do alone any less enjoyable. There is plenty of joy in my life, and I think it's a little harsh of you to say otherwise.

fredtheguava

panagia wrote: »

I'm quoting PasturesNew post because I think it might go some way to explaining why it is that I am uncomfortable going out alone now, whereas when I was younger living at home with lots of siblings and my parents, I never used to give it even a second thought.
.

I've also quoted that post above because I heartily believe it to be untrue. Being happy alone is something you have to work on, for sure, but I think it's restrictive to write the idea off because you've never done it. Otherwise we'd never do anything new, and that would make life very boring indeed.

74jax

I do food shopping alone, fill the car with petrol alone, I love nothing more than several hours in the MetroCentre browsing shops alone - I'll go have a coffee and people watch etc.

I have been on holidays alone. Use groupon and go on spa days alone.

I honestly don't notice if people are alone.

Hermia

fredtheguava wrote: »

Ouch. There's just me, I live alone, and to be honest, do most things alone outside of work. And there is PLENTY of joy in my life. I don't tell anyone every detail of my life and experience. For me, the joy comes from the experience itself, not from sharing it.

Yes, there are times when I choose to do things with others, but that doesn't make the things I do alone any less enjoyable. There is plenty of joy in my life, and I think it's a little harsh of you to say otherwise.

I live alone and don't have much in the way of family and didn't relate to the joy quote at all. For me, the joy comes from what I am doing. Having a good old natter about it to others is a bonus, but not essential. Besides these days you can share things via blogs, YouTube or forums and get great feedback. The last time I went to the theatre I wrote a little review of it on a forum and was inundated with lovely comments and questions from people all around the world. I didn't get such a wonderful reaction from the real life people I know as they are not theatre buffs.

busiscoming2

I much prefer things like shopping on my own and like others will have lunch/coffee on my own. The same with visiting museums.

I am gearing up to trying the cinema on my own as DH hates films, but I was (until I read this thread) a bit worried about going on my own, thinking I'd feel a bit odd.

aridjis

It is true about London. It's not at all unusual to see people by themselves in London, so you don't feel such an odd-one-out, though even so I don't know if I would do somewhere touristy like Madame Tussauds on my own, as people tend to go in groups to that sort of thing.

marisco_2

I go out to all sorts of places by myself and have never felt self-conscious about it. To be honest it has never crossed my mind, that others may be viewing me as some kind of 'billy no mates' individual. I think most people are too busy being focused on their own activities and those who they are with, to be taking that much notice of what others are doing.

I travelled the world by myself in my twenties and got use to going into all kinds of social situations alone. I think those experiences gave me the confidence to feel at ease about doing this. I go to the theatre, art galleries, museums, restaurants and all sorts of other events.

I am a people person by nature and often get talking to others whilst out and about which can be nice. One of my closest friends now I met years ago, whilst standing in the queue waiting to go into a concert. We just got chatting, clicked and have remained friends ever since.

I think I am lucky because I have a large circle of friends if I fancy doing something with others. Sometimes though I just choose to go it alone and I always enjoy these times.