do you go out on your own or with others?

balletshoes

FatVonD wrote: »

I've been to pubs on my own, I've popped in for a sandwich and a pint when I've been in town for something on my own and I've been to a pub gig on my own. I've also gone island hopping in Greece on my own and spent every night going to bars and dancing like a loon!

yes, I spent 2 summers in Turkey on my own - well I started off on my own but you soon get to meet people doing the same thing, and I really don't consider myself to be a "joiner-in" or social butterfly at all.

aridjis

barbarawright wrote: »

Why on earth is going to the cinema on your own awkward? You sit in the dark in silence for two hours - how insecure do you have to be to think you need someone you know sitting in the dark in silence next to you. Look around next time you go to the cinema, especially in the afternoon and you may be surprised at how many people are on their own and how normal they are. In fact, I'm off to see Star Trek on my own right now. I also go to the theatre on my own if I decide to go last minute or I just can't be bothered with the hassle of fixing a date with someone else.

Well, with the cinema, and even more so the theatre, it's not so much while you're watching the film/play, it's the bit before or afterwards when you're sitting in the auditorium seat all by yourself or going to get refreshments. You can feel a bit like Billy No-Mates.

But I guess it's all in the mind, really.

I'd quite like to see Gatsby, but knowing me I will probably end up waiting for it to come out on dvd and watch it at home. Or not end up watching it at all

juliethemuse

I don't usually go out on my own. but everytime we go to the cimema or the theatre I always see many people going on their own. I honestly don't think of them as weird loners.I think they are being brave actually as I don't think I could do it, I'm too self conscious (sp)

PasturesNew

I don't like going out on my own. What people with a family at home fail to realise about it is they're making a choice and choosing to go out alone - and will then return home to share their experience.

Sharing of experiences, whether with somebody or alone, is what makes going out enjoyable. If it's just you, you live alone, do everything alone, always have to go places on your own, there's simply no "joy" in it. Especially if, when you go out, every time you're surrounded by people with friends/family .... and you can go out and wander round - but how often before you've done it all/seen it all and there's just no joy.

balletshoes

panagia wrote: »

Well, with the cinema, and even more so the theatre, it's not so much while you're watching the film/play, it's the bit before or afterwards when you're sitting in the auditorium seat all by yourself or going to get refreshments. You can feel a bit like Billy No-Mates.

But I guess it's all in the mind, really.

I'd quite like to see Gatsby, but knowing me I will probably end up waiting for it to come out on dvd and watch it at home. Or not end up watching it at all

what waiting around at the cinema? if the advertised showing time is 5pm for example, you go at 5pm, not before, because then you have 20 minutes of adverts to get through. And when I go to the cinema with my friends or my daughter etc, we don't go get refreshments together, one of us does that.

gettingbackontrack

panagia wrote: »

Well, with the cinema, and even more so the theatre, it's not so much while you're watching the film/play, it's the bit before or afterwards when you're sitting in the auditorium seat all by yourself or going to get refreshments. You can feel a bit like Billy No-Mates.

But I guess it's all in the mind, really.

I'd quite like to see Gatsby, but knowing me I will probably end up waiting for it to come out on dvd and watch it at home. Or not end up watching it at all

I'd say, better to go alone than not at all.

It's OK to like your own company - many of us are like that - but we're a little programmed to think in pairs. But why?

I go on day trips, to galleries, cafes, theatre etc all by myself if I want to. The only thing I wouldn't do is go into a pub for a drink but I'm not why not - I'd happily go into a cafe alone. And abroad I'll sit in a cafe or outside a hotel having a drink, Just something about pubs?

Like you say it's all in the mind.

I hope you ease yourself into doing things that you enjoy because it's right for you. We don't all have to be party animals!:)

elsien

My top cinema tips? Get there as the previews start, rather than sitting in solitary isolation before the lights go down. Tag onto the end of a group of people as they leave so to the casual observer it looks like you're leaving with them.

Dunroamin

elsien wrote: »

My top cinema tips? Get there as the previews start, rather than sitting in solitary isolation before the lights go down. Tag onto the end of a group of people as they leave so to the casual observer it looks like you're leaving with them.

Who cares what complete strangers think?

paulineb_2

I go to the gym on my own, I go swimming on my own, Ive done fitness classes as a participant on my own. It wouldnt occur to me not to do these things because Im on my own. And so do lots of other people.

Im not the best at getting out there in social situations, in fact I would probably stay in most of the time if it were up to me, but Ive forced myself over the last 6 months or so. It wouldnt bother me going into a pub or cafe on my own either.

My life is as it is and thats it. I dont envy other peoples social set ups or relationships. There have been times in my life when Ive not gone out much because Ive had no money or because Ive been through stuff, my gran died a couple of years ago and it was very sudden and unexpected and it took me a good year to get back out again.

But, talking about her, she was housebound until the last 3 years of her life. Until then, she was up and about and out every single day, whether that was going to the supermarket, going for a coffee, she had a couple of friends that used to pick her up and they would go out for lunch. But that obviously had to stop when she couldnt get out anymore. Its good to have choices and we all have them, but my grans death made me realise that sitting in the house on my tod really wasnt productive for me. I think the issue is that a lot of peoples social lives revolve around the pub and while I dont mind going out for a drink, being in a crowded and noisy pub doesnt really do it for me. I do go out with friends to pubs and even to clubs or social clubs, but thats about half a dozen times a year, its not the kind of thing Id want to do every week.

Theres no social stigma as far as I am concerned about doing many things on your own that you might do in a pair. And the alternative to going out on your own is? Staying in on your own. We only get one life, its time to stop worrying what other people think and just get on with doing things you want to do.

mrcow

panagia wrote: »

Yes, I think it can make a difference. I am female, in my late 30s.

For instance I sometimes get an email invite to a preview at a gallery. Going to the gallery to have a look at the paintings is one thing, but a preview sounds too much like having to take someone with you and chat to people, and arty things can get quite cliquey, so I avoid going.

I think I need a confidence boost!

No I just think you're normal!

A "preview" sounds like somewhere you'd have to go and make smalltalk. I can't stand places like that as I run out of things to say if I don't find someone interesting/don't know them.