First time post - wwyd and wdyt?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

What's so hard about making a chicken salad?

Scrapaholic

I was also wondering why you would be providing all of the food . If I had all of those allergies etc and we were just meeting , I'd not want you to go to all that trouble for me . Surely everyone would want to contribute .If she did you'd be able to see what she brings for herself to eat .

Spendless

If you are meeting your friend's partner for the first time, how do you know things like 'she doesn't read packages though she has a nut allergy'? It could be possible she sticks to the same brands that she knows to be 'safe' and so doesn't check the labels.

Personally I'd go with what another poster has suggested and say you feel uncomfortable providing food where you are not 100% sure if she'll be ok to eat it and can they sort their own food out.

tayforth

Surely, at picnics, its normal for everyone to bring something?

AnnieO1234

I wish they would even offer to bring something.

The reason I know she's doesn't check labelling is because ever since we set this up I have been asking multiple questions and that's one of the things I have been told.

The distance between us would mean us all going shopping that day together which would put pay to the whole idea. One of the reasons for doing the picnic at a country park thing is because she doesn't deal well with kids.

I guess the gist of it is am I being unreasonable to expect them to bring their own drinks or sides? Some think no others yes.

I am already planning for me ODS and DH's needs and it almost feels like I will need thousands of dishes to please everyone; plus extra spend on ingredients I wouldn't use myself. Chicken salad would be awesome but useless for at least two of the group. Salad I am doing but reading into sulphites I will struggle with any bagged stuff.

There's part of me that thinks if she doesn't want to clue me in fully then ill just serve as normal but then if there's nothing for her it's a little harsh.

At this rate I really am going to end up cancelling. It's too darn stressful.

Ax

Funky_Bold_Ribena

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

I wish they would even offer to bring something.

The reason I know she's doesn't check labelling is because ever since we set this up I have been asking multiple questions and that's one of the things I have been told.

The distance between us would mean us all going shopping that day together which would put pay to the whole idea. One of the reasons for doing the picnic at a country park thing is because she doesn't deal well with kids.

I guess the gist of it is am I being unreasonable to expect them to bring their own drinks or sides? Some think no others yes.

I am already planning for me ODS and DH's needs and it almost feels like I will need thousands of dishes to please everyone; plus extra spend on ingredients I wouldn't use myself. Chicken salad would be awesome but useless for at least two of the group. Salad I am doing but reading into sulphites I will struggle with any bagged stuff.

There's part of me that thinks if she doesn't want to clue me in fully then ill just serve as normal but then if there's nothing for her it's a little harsh.

At this rate I really am going to end up cancelling. It's too darn stressful.

Ax

'Ok, so I am bringing x and y, what are you bringing so that we don't bring the same thing?'

Why are you waiting for them to offer - just ask? Surely people don't expect others to provide all the food all the time?

If they say 'we are bringing nothing' then say 'good idea, lets ditch the picnic and go to a cafe instead'. Then just have a cup of tea and have your own food when you get home/own picnic later.

CH27

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

I wish they would even offer to bring something.

The reason I know she's doesn't check labelling is because ever since we set this up I have been asking multiple questions and that's one of the things I have been told.

The distance between us would mean us all going shopping that day together which would put pay to the whole idea. One of the reasons for doing the picnic at a country park thing is because she doesn't deal well with kids.

I guess the gist of it is am I being unreasonable to expect them to bring their own drinks or sides? Some think no others yes.

I am already planning for me ODS and DH's needs and it almost feels like I will need thousands of dishes to please everyone; plus extra spend on ingredients I wouldn't use myself. Chicken salad would be awesome but useless for at least two of the group. Salad I am doing but reading into sulphites I will struggle with any bagged stuff.

There's part of me that thinks if she doesn't want to clue me in fully then ill just serve as normal but then if there's nothing for her it's a little harsh.

At this rate I really am going to end up cancelling. It's too darn stressful.

Ax

No it doesn't!
They can shop & prepare at home & bring it in cool bags like other people do on days out.

AnnieO1234

I've laid my own bed since having DS that I have got meals prepared whenever my friend has visited so its just sort of the accepted thing. I suppose the girlfriend could be saying all that about "I will make my own etc" but might be being told to not worry.

She can't/won't do an at home meal or cafe/restaurant setting until she gets to know my DS. We're all clear that my DS and any future DSs and DDs be closest they'll have to kids, the girlfriend was really clear not going to happen and my friend has always flip flopped on it depending on whims of the particular person they're with. That's why this is such a big deal.

Well it's been an interesting first post thanks all xxx

claire16c

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

I've laid my own bed since having DS that I have got meals prepared whenever my friend has visited so its just sort of the accepted thing. I suppose the girlfriend could be saying all that about "I will make my own etc" but might be being told to not worry.

She can't/won't do an at home meal or cafe/restaurant setting until she gets to know my DS. We're all clear that my DS and any future DSs and DDs be closest they'll have to kids, the girlfriend was really clear not going to happen and my friend has always flip flopped on it depending on whims of the particular person they're with. That's why this is such a big deal.

Well it's been an interesting first post thanks all xxx

Am I reading this right - your friends new girlfriend, won't meet up with you in a cafe or at your house because she doesn't like children so you have to have a picnic? Wth?? How does that make any difference? I can't believe someone would actually voice that anyway.

If be damned if I was gonna make her special food! Just bring whatever & let her pick at it.

AnnieO1234

LoL I guess it could've been any thing so long as it was outside!!! Basically she needs to be able to wander or allow my DS to be distracted in a play area or whatever. The picnic was supposed to be a solution. She's apparently okay with kids she knows personally but freaks out about kids she doesn't know. To be fair I do get that, ten years ago I didn't want kids but then ended up teaching 18 month to three year olds then 4 to 6 finally 8 to 11. Sorta put a fresh complexion on it!!! (No I not a teacher or childminder) xx