People think we're much better off financially then we are..

burnoutbabe

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Why does the OP 'need to look generous'? They desperately need the income so they need to let it on a commercial basis, otherwise, they still will be struggling. Why should they be guilted into 'mates rates' because they live somewhere nice? We seem to be talking a quarter of the year lost to these bookings, not 2 weeks out of 52.

Well [EMAIL="i@m"]i'm[/EMAIL] not sure telling all and sundry that they are desperately need the income is good either.

Are there actual potential bookings for all these times its used by family and friends? Or would mates rates fill in times when there are no full rate bookings (which would be the same as discounted last minute bookings anyway, better to have someone in at less money than no one)

Brighton_belle

burnoutbabe wrote: »

Are there actual potential bookings for all these times its used by family and friends? Or would mates rates fill in times when there are no full rate bookings

Good point.

valk_scot

Person_one wrote: »

She's not 'having' to do anything!

If you invite people to stay with you in your house, do you do all the things you mentioned above?

She just needs to be a tiny bit more assertive, not completely unfriendly. Asking your guests for petrol money for picking them up from the airport is just, well...

She's just said they invite themselves. And in the original post she said they had decided not to hire a car because it was "too expensive". So instead the OP has to drive them around at HER expense? When she didn't even ask them in the first place? Hmmmm

Person_one

valk_scot wrote: »

She's just said they invite themselves. And in the original post she said they had decided not to hire a car because it was "too expensive". So instead the OP has to drive them around at HER expense? When she didn't even ask them in the first place? Hmmmm

Well, that was information that would have been really helpful in earlier posts.

silvercar

You need to accept that when people hear they have to pay mates rates they may decide not to come. If they thought it was a free holiday it was attractive as a spending option they may decide on somewhere warmer/ catered/ different instead. To preserve relations/ friendships you need to make clear that they aren't obliged to come out of a sense of duty or pity.

silvercar

To prepare you for the backlash, my anecdote.

We bought a holiday home last summer. Having taken advice we told friends and family that it was available at mates rates off season, but we (a) we needed to have it available at peak times for full payers (b) whatever discount we gave anyone saying would be expected to pay electric and cleaning charges direct to the agent.

We got some deliberately misunderstanding that there was no discount at peak times, that we were being unfair because certain people could only go in school holidays so couldn't go at cheap time etc. Also people said they would take it last minute (at a discount) if it was unlet, but then would phone up months in advance as they wanted to know if it was safe to book flights.

Really you have to be firm and consistent, otherwise people will take advantage.

burnoutbabe

I suppose this is the cost of you moving away from family and friends.

You still invite them over but they stay in your house with you, maybe share bedrooms, and its just a 2 day visit with meals out. Now if the cottage is empty and unbooked when they arrive, sure its probably more spacious for them to sleep in that but else, its still a short visit.

if they want to spend a week and be tourists, they book the cottage.

And if they don't want to fly over to Ireland for a 2 day visit, you go over to see them in England instead.

Savvy_Sue

What I expect to find in self catering accommodation is milk in the fridge, coffee and tea bags by the kettle, bottled water if that's what's used for drinking. Plus instructions to the nearest place where I can buy essentials, plus opening times, plus details of anywhere open longer than that.

Biscuits are a bonus. Bottle of wine was a double bonus.

Never had bread, jam and marge!

lostinrates

valk_scot wrote: »

She's just said they invite themselves. And in the original post she said they had decided not to hire a car because it was "too expensive". So instead the OP has to drive them around at HER expense? When she didn't even ask them in the first place? Hmmmm

I still don't think she 'has' to do much. 'No' seems hard I agree but ' I'm sorry I cannot that week because....' Or ' well, you'd be welcome but I am very tied up so you'll simply have to arrange transport, because you'll really need it' if she wants them to come.

duchy

(I'm a"purleygirl girl" originally )

I'm kind of reminded of my Australian cousin who visited my Irish family as a teenager on her travels and kind of misunderstood Irish hospitality as she returned with her husband and two young children some years later for a months stay with almost no money at all,,,,,My family are kind and generous with a history of offering fantastic hospitality but it wore very thin ...this couple allowed their kids to run riot, would offer to cook their hosts a meal ....and then not come home from their day out til 11pm .....my favourite was one night my cousins husband said to the husband that it'd be nice to pop over to the pub...the reply was Oh no there's plenty of beer in the fridge here (which was true but paid for by my cousin ...the ozzies hadn't bought as much as a loaf of bread) They did this with all the relatives, including my Mum who was recovering from a serious illness who had neither the money to fed them or the energy to cope with toddlers rampaging. They were completely oblivious and went home raving about Irish hospitality lol

I suspect your family and friends assume you enjoy giving such hospitality and its hard to back track when they,ve got used to it but you can pull it back a bit eg the car....perhaps next time you should say 'best to hire one as I can't guarantee it,ll be available that week, ...and offer no further explanation .....

Could you send out a general email something on the lines of. dear Friends and Family. We always enjoy seeing you all when you come to visit...however as you know this recession has hit everybody hard and we.ve decided we need to make our holiday home work harder for us so sadly it can't be open house anymore and we can only offer it when it isn't booked up in the future two weeks ahead . If you want to stay there with more notice you can of course book through our agents at a 10 percent discount or we can recommend a nice B&B just down the road. I'm sure you all understand as everyone is hit by these current financial times and kids in college cost a fortune !

As a general round robin it,ll be clear you are treating everyone the same .

Would that work?