People think we're much better off financially then we are..

paulineb_2

Let people know you cant afford to feed them and entertain them for a week. As someone said earlier you could put enough food for breakfasts in the fridge and then leave them to it.

And dont allow people to stay during weeks where you could rent the holiday home out.

Penny-Pincher!!

Grow some balls and say NO!! You're allowing this to happen, nobody else. The money is yours to do as you wish and is nobody else's business!

itzmee

You wouldn't pay for each of your friends/family to go away all expenses paid would you (apart from them covering their own travel costs). This is no different. You don't owe them anything. Welcome them and point out where the local shops/pubs/ restaurants and takeaways are, and let them get on with it themselves!

Mr_Toad

FatVonD wrote: »

'Ooh, it would be lovely to see you but let me just check we don't have any other friends/family staying that month because, as you know, we ploughed every penny we had into the cottage to provide us with an income and we need to let it for 3 weeks every month to give us enough money to see us through the autumn and winter months too. Of course if you are prepared to come out of season you're welcome to pretty much any week.'

'I've got some bits and pieces in to see you through the first evening but I'm sure after that you'd rather shop for yourselves.'

Practice saying these things to yourself in the mirror!

If you are happy for other people to drive your car (and have fully comp with protected no claims) I'd suggest adding them to your insurance for a week (or getting extra cover on their insurance) and letting them drive (when you aren't using the car for yourself.) Leave it with a quarter tank of petrol and let them fill up after that.

The problem with this approach is that it doesn't really fix the problem, it dances round it and the people are still turning up still getting the 'few bit and pieces' paid for and relies on them putting fuel in the car. They are just as likely to leave it with less than the quarter of a tank it started with. Then there's the wear and tear on the car, I could go on.

You're too nice and think these people are going to be reasonable about this. The chances are they aren't and that they will think that the rules apply to everyone else except them.

There's no nice way to do this, people can be surprisingly thick skinned when it comes to being denied a free/cheap holiday. Especially if they are under the impression that the family is rolling in money and can afford it.

As my friend in Cornwall found out, they seem to think that anyone who lives somewhere nice has some sort of moral obligation to put up friends and relatives. If pressed they will often say "Well if we lived here we'd do it" but of course those are empty words designed to make you feel guilty as they don't live there and will never have to do it and can have no idea what it's like to constantly have a houseful of visitors eating your food, taking up your time and using the car.

Spendless

Does the holiday let have it's own fridge? If so let your guests fill it themselves when they arrive, rather than you subsidising their costs.

FBaby

itzmee wrote: »

You wouldn't pay for each of your friends/family to go away all expenses paid would you (apart from them covering their own travel costs). This is no different. You don't owe them anything. Welcome them and point out where the local shops/pubs/ restaurants and takeaways are, and let them get on with it themselves!

I think it very much depends on the circumstances of the invite. If OP is saying to her friends 'we haven't seen each other for so long, to be great to have you again whenever you can' and the friends answer 'that would be lovely, we could make it in three weeks time', then the above would be completely inappropriate in my world. If I make an offer of invitation, I would never expect my friends to feed themselves. OP has stated that they usually go to places together, so this sounds to me me like a proper invitation.

However, if it a case of the friends ringing OP and saying 'Hi dear, we were thinking of coming over for the week and staying at your place during that time', then yes indeed, it would be up to them to make their own way.

msb5262

Hi OP,

We have close family friends who have a home + separate holiday let in France. When we go, we pay the rent on the holiday let and also take across anything they want from the UK. I also usually bake a fruit cake and take it with me as a gift.

On the first evening they usually cook us a meal, and one night during the holiday we invite them for a meal with us.

In addition we usually take them out for Sunday lunch during our visit, at a restaurant of their choosing.

We take or buy everything we need for food and also make sure during the holiday that we say, "I'm off to (nearest town), do you need anything?" each day.

To us, all this is quite normal, not super-helpful and over the top. We have a lovely holiday every time and there are no feelings of one side being over-obligated to the other. I don't see why you can't do it the same way in the future?

Obviously the fact that it's been different until now is potentially a problem, but you could start now and say to each set of guests as they are leaving that things will have to be organised differently next time as you're struggling to manage financially. Maybe you could decide how it'll work in the future and make some cards and pop them in the post to everyone (with Christmas cards if not before)...

HTH

MsB

busiscoming2

I agree this has to stop.
I'd be inclined to say that you have decided to let it out via a company and they can book that way if they wish.

Possibly some people that have stayed before and had the 'free food', days out and taxi service from you, thinks they are onto a winner and keep coming back.
Next time they come put bread, milk and some marg in the fridge and tell them you are busy quite a lot of the time and cut down on the days out.

valk_scot

Why fill the fridge? I would stop that right now. Then on the first evening say "So how are we going to do this? Go Dutch as we go or shall I keep tally of what I'm spending extra on food and petrol and we'll split it at the end of the week?" If they look a bit surprised, just smile sweetly and say nothing till they answer. If they totally blank you, get the notebook out in a very obvious manner and write down the expenses of the drive to and from the airport (petrol parking fee etc) and any other shopping they've asked you to get. If you go out somewhere write down 50% of the petrol, their entrance fees, half the cafe bills etc etc. Make sure they see you do this. Tot it up at the end of the week and show it to them. If they say "Oh, I thought we were gueast" tell them yes, of course they were, they had the free use of the holiday cottage for a week which made you lose the rental on that too. Then say if you'd added that on it the final total would be £x000...and really, you love them but you can't afford the lost income plus all the extra expenses. Which is nothing more than the truth, yes?

You may not get the money but I guarantee they won't come back again. If they do tell them you're a bit busy but they're welcome to rent the cottage in the normal way or, if it's not rented out by three days before the weekend in question they can have it at family rate and for all other expenses they pay their own way.

Person_one

valk_scot wrote: »

Why fill the fridge? I would stop that right now. Then on the first evening say "So how are we going to do this? Go Dutch as we go or shall I keep tally of what I'm spending extra on food and petrol and we'll split it at the end of the week?" If they look a bit surprised, just smile sweetly and say nothing till they answer. If they totally blank you, get the notebook out in a very obvious manner and write down the expenses of the drive to and from the airport (petrol parking fee etc) and any other shopping they've asked you to get. If you go out somewhere write down 50% of the petrol, their entrance fees, half the cafe bills etc etc. Make sure they see you do this. Tot it up at the end of the week and show it to them. If they say "Oh, I thought we were gueast" tell them yes, of course they were, they had the free use of the holiday cottage for a week which made you lose the rental on that too. Then say if you'd added that on it the final total would be £x000...and really, you love them but you can't afford the lost income plus all the extra expenses. Which is nothing more than the truth, yes?

You may not get the money but I guarantee they won't come back again. If they do tell them you're a bit busy but they're welcome to rent the cottage in the normal way or, if it's not rented out by three days before the weekend in question they can have it at family rate and for all other expenses they pay their own way.

Well that's great advice for reducing the number of Christmas cards you get I suppose! :rotfl: