People think we're much better off financially then we are..

valk_scot

Person_one wrote: »

Well that's great advice for reducing the number of Christmas cards you get I suppose! :rotfl:

Then the OP will save even more by not having to send one back, no? Seriously, this poor woman is having to cut back on normal expenses in order to pay for this bunch of unthinking (this is me being charitable btw) !!!!!!!!!!s. Why are we in the UK so bad at being upfront about money? I expect most folk would be mortified to find out that a friend had been struggling to afford their visit. Why not just say something about it?

BitterAndTwisted

The easiest way to deal with all this is a "Sorry, we've no availability as we've got bookings. But you're welcome to come and stay during the winter months if you're happy to look out for yourselves while you're here". And STOP filling the damned fridge and freezer!

silvercar

I can see the difficulty in moving from a generous position to one where people wanting a holiday have to pay towards their holiday. From the guests position, what has become a free holiday (and if they can't afford a holiday this may be their cost saving option) needs to come at a cost. For some guests the attraction may have been the cheapness and if payment is required they may well decide to go elsewhere.

I think you need a gradual education, either by email to all and sundry or by telling some family members to spread the word.

FBaby

Did I miss something. Did the OP not hint that she was inviting her guests? Because if it is indeed the case, do people really invite people over and then tell them to pay for the shopping for their meals just because without their knowledge, how it happens, they just can't afford to honour the invitation?

I must have missed something because surely no-one can show such bad manners? Surely when you invite people, whether because you want to, or because you didn't have it in yourself to say 'sorry but I felt forced to invite you, I don't really want you to come unless you can afford your stay', you actually pay for their food?

This thread is scaring me, maybe I need to make sure when my OH and I are invited that we don't have to do our shopping at Tesco first!

CH27

OP do you invite the people over or do they invite themselves?

Mojisola

FBaby wrote: »

Did I miss something. Did the OP not hint that she was inviting her guests? Because if it is indeed the case, do people really invite people over and then tell them to pay for the shopping for their meals just because without their knowledge, how it happens, they just can't afford to honour the invitation?

I must have missed something because surely no-one can show such bad manners? Surely when you invite people, whether because you want to, or because you didn't have it in yourself to say 'sorry but I felt forced to invite you, I don't really want you to come unless you can afford your stay', you actually pay for their food?

If we go to stay with people for even a couple of days, I don't expect to live off them - let alone for a week!

We take something with us for the hosts, take them out for a meal, share car use, offer to help with the meal preparation, pay for ourselves at events or "we'll pay this time, you pay next", etc.

balletshoes

FBaby wrote: »

Did I miss something. Did the OP not hint that she was inviting her guests? Because if it is indeed the case, do people really invite people over and then tell them to pay for the shopping for their meals just because without their knowledge, how it happens, they just can't afford to honour the invitation?

I must have missed something because surely no-one can show such bad manners? Surely when you invite people, whether because you want to, or because you didn't have it in yourself to say 'sorry but I felt forced to invite you, I don't really want you to come unless you can afford your stay', you actually pay for their food?

This thread is scaring me, maybe I need to make sure when my OH and I are invited that we don't have to do our shopping at Tesco first!

like I said before, if we're going to stay with family for more than a couple of days, we all put money into the pot when we're there, to cover food, outings, petrol etc.

FatVonD

FBaby wrote: »

Did I miss something. Did the OP not hint that she was inviting her guests? Because if it is indeed the case, do people really invite people over and then tell them to pay for the shopping for their meals just because without their knowledge, how it happens, they just can't afford to honour the invitation?

I must have missed something because surely no-one can show such bad manners? Surely when you invite people, whether because you want to, or because you didn't have it in yourself to say 'sorry but I felt forced to invite you, I don't really want you to come unless you can afford your stay', you actually pay for their food?

This thread is scaring me, maybe I need to make sure when my OH and I are invited that we don't have to do our shopping at Tesco first!

I can see your point but the OP has somebody staying with her for one quarter of the year. I can't think that would be happening if she didn't live in a holiday destination!

balletshoes

FBaby wrote: »

This thread is scaring me, maybe I need to make sure when my OH and I are invited that we don't have to do our shopping at Tesco first!

even if you were staying in a self-contained flat, away from your hosts, with full kitchen facilities? Have to say, I never expect my brother to fill his fridge and cupboards for me when I stay at his flat on my visits up north. Theres milk and squash usually, so we can have a drink at least, but then first day I go to the supermarket and stock up.

Purleygirl

Well they invite themselves really..