People think we're much better off financially then we are..

fluffymuffy

But for the OP it's not just the expense of having these "guests" - it's also the loss of income from their holiday let.

mummyroysof3

I would assume they think that because that's the impression you give them. You have let it go on for too long now and need to make a change. And shame on these people treating you live a free holiday

thegirlintheattic

Don't invite people.

If people drop hints or try to invite themselves, only allow it if the cottage is free, and make it clear that they pay for food, trips out etc.

[Deleted User]

Sound like you are asset rich but cash flow poor

mountainofdebt

Why on earth do you pay for everything?

When we go to stay with friends for a long weekend, we always buy our rounds, if we went anywhere we would pay our own entrance fees and we always take them out for a meal as a thank you for having us.

Time to keep your hands in your pockets me thinks!

balletshoes

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

I would assume they think that because that's the impression you give them. You have let it go on for too long now and need to make a change. And shame on these people treating you live a free holiday

I agree with this.
I have one sister who is the "well-off" one, for years she was the one who lived further away than the rest of us from home, so we stayed with her when we visited on holidays etc. However, from the very first visit, there was no expectation that she would fund our entire trip!

We put money in a pot for food for all of us, outings, treats etc while we were there, and added to it if we were running out. We all did that, why would we do anything else? She's not a charity, she and her husband have worked hard for what they have, why would we leech off that?

I think you need to start explaining that yes, if the cottage is free, your friends and family are welcome to stay, but they will need to help out and pay for groceries/petrol etc. Its just common sense.

lostinrates

fluffymuffy wrote: »

But for the OP it's not just the expense of having these "guests" - it's also the loss of income from their holiday let.

I agree, the holiday let should ONLY be available to friends and family if it is not booked commercially.

As for the part about expecting people to pay, I don't expect guests to pay there own way when we have invited them to stay. Indeed, I would feel really awkward. A meal out would be a nice thank you, though oi tend to plan the menus (for cost effectiveness and least stress, in advance) most people bring a gift (some wine or something) and we don't invite anyone for longer than a long weekend. If we were to as rural inhabitants we would expect driving friends to bring their cars, and non driving ones to have to be chauffeured (we have quite a few friends/family who do not drive at all).

But for sanity and economy you cannot have everyone to stay and expect to feed and drive them everywhere. And tbh, we like some time alone a lot too. Just be 'busy' or 'fully booked' more often. And if the holiday is available to be booked more often maybe you can host in the way you have become accustomed to on the proceeds!

swampduck

I think you need to toughen up a little bit. I, too, love having family to stay and under normal circumstances would feed and house them without expecting anything from them. But your family seem to be taking advantage of you here. By all means have your family to stay but on condition that your holiday accommodation is vacant. Why should you in these times lose out on potential income?
Look after yourself and your family first and extended family will have to fit in around you. If there's no accommodation then they rough it on blow up beds etc in whatever space is available (even if your kids have to squeeze in together - or come to that -your guests do!) Otherwise they have to find (and pay for) alternative accommodation and you'll meet up with them when you're free!!
Like you I would feel that I could not ask for a contribution towards food but it's not unreasonable for them to pay their way when out and about and occasionally treat you too. But you do need to make this clear to them!!

Swampy

embob74

I think if you have the chance to let the holiday cottage that should take priority. Just tell friends the cottage is unavailable that week but they are welcome to sleep on the sofa.
If they are staying in the cottage though why are you providing food?! Tell them you have bought milk and bread for their arrival and leave them to do the rest.
Tell them you have days/times you are not about so they will be left to their own devices (so need their own car) but maybe offer to cook one night and they can join you in the house?
Speak to the guests about their plans - for all you know they may just want to do their own thing but feel obliged to spend each day with you in gratitude for putting them up.

It is nice to spend time with family and friends but if it happens every other week it is impacting on your everyday routine and so you may need to mention that Uncle Bob came last week so you can't take anymore time out to entertain.

Have you checked you are getting all your entitlements? Tax credits and child benefit are available if you have children in college. Pension guarantee gives a minimum income amount and there are fuel allowances once you reach a certain age.

embob74

Is a part-time job possible?

It could bring in much needed income and mean that you are unavailable to be host to all and sundry. Win-Win!!