DH not on board with DMP

sugarplum10

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

I think they have a very good point. You have 6 kids with various people, you're 'studying', i.e. not working and your OH is also not working and you're in debt up to your eye balls. Where do we start then, firstly do whatever you can to never have an more kids. Secondly both of you need to get jobs earning money. Thirdly you thne need to pay off your debts.

not various people 2 MEN, can you not read??? and I have already said my bursary is non-taxed and exempts me from council tax and it is WORKING I do 37.5 hours per week in work and all my uni work on top, if i got a full time job on minimum wage and also had to pay council tax i would be no better off, i have explained this in an earlier post- again did you not read it???

paulineb_2

sugarplum10 wrote: »

Yes i did, but as long as i have happy, healthy children and pay the money back, what the begees does that have to do with you.
oh thats right... nothing
pass judgement all you like but I work my !!! off and my kids are bloody amazing so i dont actually see your point??
and... if you read the thread correctly you would have also noted that I have become a christian in the last 2 years- hence why i got married, and we are catholic- you work it out!!!!
also... its now just over £20,000 of debt so im paying it off pretty well.
sorry... what was your point again????????

Many catholic families use contraception. Im not having a dig at you for having 6 kids, its up to you, yes you are right on that score.

But I agree to the point that if someone isnt on board with what you are trying to achieve then how on earth are you going to manage this debt?

If I had 6 kids whose dad could be supportive of me, and you said yourself he is regarded as dad to them all, the alarm bells would be absolutely ringing and no it doesnt seem like you need the stress right now either.

I do hope you resolve these issues between you.

sugarplum10

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Since when does being Catholic stop you from using the natural method of contraception? I assume that as you got married recently, you would have been taught all about this in the Pre-Cana classes that you attended, of course?

I'm not passing judgment, I'm merely curious as to why someone in your situation (husband with no job, you a full time student) with five children already would choose to have a 6th child while also carrying a significant burden of debt. It certainly cannot help your husband to obtain a career if he knows that he's going to spend another few years at home looking after yet another child, after all.

I'm not sure what you hope to achieve by coming online and saying all sorts of bad things about your husband, as after all, it takes two to tango.

He could get a job if he wanted im not stopping him, as i have said before, he refuses to take on temporary work and then have to give it up. you are commenting on stuff that has already been discussed earlier in the thread, I have no idea what pre-cana classes are i have never heard of them, i attended catechesis lessons through RCIA lessons but natural contraception was never mentioned to me.

sugarplum10

paulineb wrote: »

Many catholic families use contraception. Im not having a dig at you for having 6 kids, its up to you, yes you are right on that score.

But I agree to the point that if someone isnt on board with what you are trying to achieve then how on earth are you going to manage this debt?

If I had 6 kids whose dad could be supportive of me, and you said yourself he is regarded as dad to them all, the alarm bells would be absolutely ringing and no it doesnt seem like you need the stress right now either.

I do hope you resolve these issues between you.

thanks for your comments, this is what i needed advice on getting DH on board, the debt is reducing a lot and i am ploughing everything i can into it so its going down quicker than i thought it would.
As far as i was aware traditional contraceptives are wrong unedr canon law, but we have a meeting with a 'natural family planning' tutor after i have this baby.
She is not catholic but It certainly cant heart for me to learn this method.
I am however quite upset with some of the people on here who who have take my thread as an opportunity to criticise my choices for my family so thankyou for respecting that.
I can honestly say that despit the debt my children are all well loved and cared for, they are happy and polite and just amazing and while i know i will never have a huge house or great car, my kids are my luxuries in life and i would rather have them than all the holidays and other luxuries in the world.
I hope i get to grow old with them all around me and see them grow into fine men and women.
Nothing anyone on here can say or claim they are 'curious' about will make me doubt this.
:cool:

sugarplum10

Polish: why are you so mean, after looking at your previous posts on other threads its seems you get a lot of pleasure from criticising other people??
This says more about YOU than it does about the people who threads you reply to.
infact its just very very sad.
hope my spelling and grammer is bad enough for you.
x