DH not on board with DMP

Dunroamin

sugarplum10 wrote: »

no i dont get child support, csa have been chasing for a long time but he seems to get off of paying, I am tired of calling them for them to tell me he is unemployed and not claiming benefits, for the last 3 years he has not paid and I cant find him either. tHE KIDS ARE BETTER OFF WITH OUT HIM. and so am i.

I'm even more confused now as you posted last year that you married your ex (the father of your first 5 children) so have you married again in the last year?

sugarplum10

Dunroamin wrote: »

I'm even more confused now as you posted last year that you married your ex (the father of your first 5 children) so have you married again in the last year?

where have i said that i married my ex???

sugarplum10

sugarplum10 wrote: »

where have i said that i married my ex???

oh i c where u are confused.
Me and DH split, I got with someone else and had 2 kids, then when we split i got back with my now hubby who is the father of my first 3 and the baby i am carrying. we got married at this point as I had become christian during this time and wanted to be married if i was going to get back together, he is the 'dad' to ALL of my kids. the father of the babies is not around and avoid CSA. they ALL see him as daddy and im happy for them to if it makes them happy.
This is also not relevant but hey ho.

LannieDuck

Maybe your OH can't get a job because you're going to have odd hours in the next couple of months, but there are plenty of other ways for him to earn a bit of money in the evenings/at weekends. He should have a look at the Up Your Income board and consider Swagbucks etc.

Perhaps you could make a deal with him that anything he earns in the evening will be split between the two of you as pocket money (and would replace the amount he gets now from the joint pot). That way he'd have an incentive to make more, and his spending wouldn't affect your budgeting.

Do you have any old stuff you could ebay? (I always seem to end up suggesting ebay on MSE threads - I should get a commission, lol!) Ebaying takes a lot of time and energy, but would be perfect as a 'job' for him to fit around your work.

Could he pop some leaflets through neighbours' doors offering gardening/car washing services?

sugarplum10

LannieDuck wrote: »

Maybe your OH can't get a job because you're going to have odd hours in the next couple of months, but there are plenty of other ways for him to earn a bit of money in the evenings/at weekends. He should have a look at the Up Your Income board and consider Swagbucks etc.

Perhaps you could make a deal with him that anything he earns in the evening will be split between the two of you as pocket money (and would replace the amount he gets now from the joint pot). That way he'd have an incentive to make more, and his spending wouldn't affect your budgeting.

Do you have any old stuff you could ebay? (I always seem to end up suggesting ebay on MSE threads - I should get a commission, lol!) Ebaying takes a lot of time and energy, but would be perfect as a 'job' for him to fit around your work.

Could he pop some leaflets through neighbours' doors offering gardening/car washing services?

He has a huge pile of stuff to ebay, i have recently ebayed all my old stuff and taken all my DVD's to CEX, he still has his sat in a pile, i will suggest this to him again tonight. I have suggest that he sign up for mystery shopping etc but he does not want to do anything, its the company he keeps when i am at work that reinforces that he does not need to make any effort.
He just said this morning some
comment about how 'everyone else claims everything so why shouldnt we' i did try to explain that under universal credit it wont be that simple!!
i t5hink im gonna stop this thread here.
Thanks for all the helpful suggestions but this is just making me angry as im going over it in my head more and more.
Ill have a chat with him tonight and see what we can arrange.

PolishBigSpender

Surely as a professional driver, he would be able to obtain work on a daily basis through an agency? He could call in the morning, find out what might be available that day and take it as appropriate.

Did you have debts before you got pregnant?

sugarplum10

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Surely as a professional driver, he would be able to obtain work on a daily basis through an agency? He could call in the morning, find out what might be available that day and take it as appropriate.

Did you have debts before you got pregnant?

its explained in the thread!

valk_scot

I think you and OH could benefit from some councilling tbh. You seem to be going along totally seperate roads atm, with vastly different expectations of where you're going and how to get there. He's on a career break, you're working your !!!! off. You're willing to sacrifice a lot to get the debt slate wiped clean, he's not bothered. You've got six kids, he's trying to be the seventh and let Mum look after everyone and everything. Best to get it sorted out before you collapse with some sort of stress related illness tbh.

Errata

He's behaving like a fekklesss teenager. Have a chat with him tonight and tell him what he has to do, not least because he shouldn't be putting you under all this strain whilst you're pregnant.

sugarplum10

have spoken to DH last night and we have come to an agreement that he needs to stop messing around and take things seriously, he actually will be apologiesed and confessed that he felt pretty rocked by being at home all day and and agreed he had fallen into apathy.
We have made a plan to get all our crap sold and to get things paid off before anything else, the car will be getting for sale signs in it next week and going online to be sold!!! communication has given progress so hopefully this is the matter sorted.
only time will tell i guess!!!???