Sisters 40th birthday - what she's expecting, what I can afford!

Heffi1

I agree with Bella, sometimes we get the behaviour off other people because we have never taken the time to tell them it is unacceptable, I would use this occasion to say, you are now 40 where life begins and with that you can start showing me some respect or that will be the last present (poor or otherwise) that I will ever get you, stop being so bloody ungrateful, you realise money is tight, but you are so selfish that you would rather I got myself into debt so you could have something shiny for your birthday, you are no longer a child so please stop acting like one.

Hopefully there will be enough people to hear you and I am sure each of them would be thinking along the same lines.

You do not HAVE to give her a gift at all, you are acknowledging she is having a birthday, say happy birthday and then leave.

lisawood78

Wow, just wow.

My birthday just gone.
My sister in law doesn't have loads of spare money and most of my hobbies/treats (that I get for myself!) are a bit pricey.
So for my birthday she did what I think was a pound shop run for lots of silly things, each one having some meaning or another.
Talc (cos i'm getting old!) kids sugary sweets (cos if I eat them I get hyper) hand wipes (cos i'm always wiping something up)A toy hammer (cos i'm not allowed to use proper tools!) and the list goes on in that vein.
It was a lot of fun to open item by item, made us all smile and a lot of thought went into it!
Your sister sounds very ungrateful! Stick with what you can afford and tell others what you think if anything is said.
Good luck!

System

Time is running out if her birthday is next week but I would try and be a bit creative with the £10. Perhaps look on EBay for perfume (though not necessarily the 2ml vial, that might not go down too well:rotfl:). Do you have any vouchers or boots points or anything you could use?

Brighton_belle

avogadro wrote: »

Time is running out if her birthday is next week but I would try and be a bit creative with the £10. Perhaps look on EBay for perfume (though not necessarily the 2ml vial, that might not go down too well:rotfl:). Do you have any vouchers or boots points or anything you could use?

But OP has said several times her sister is uninterested in any such creative thinking - it seems if it hasn't cost £50 she'll strop.

I'm with Bella - we 'allow' people to treat us the way they do by our complicit, forlock tugging subservience. But I totally get it is very difficult to break the life long dynamic between you, especially as your mum seems to have been part of setting up this behaviour pattern.
I think the 'it's my special birthday' hysterics are the new bridezillas

System

Brighton_belle wrote: »

But OP has said several times her sister is uninterested in any such creative thinking - it seems if it hasn't cost £50 she'll strop.

I should have made myself clearer. I meant: get something that looks like you have paid £50 (even when you haven't). It's a bit underhanded, but the sister comes across as very materialistic so I don't feel too badly for suggesting it.

I no longer do birthday lists or requests, and I don't of course hand out lists of 'wants' either. For me that's not what present-buying is about.

pigpen

TBH, I'd not get her anything!!

I don't buy for my siblings from them being 18.. they have their own income and if they want something they buy it themselves. I don't expect anything from them either.

I'd respond to her 'it's my birthday' with.. well you'll get what you are given and be grateful!

She sounds a right brat and I wouldn't play up to it.

jellyhead

Person_one wrote: »

Here you go:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/COCO-NOIR-CHANEL-EDP-for-Woman-2ml-Sample-Vial-Spray-/171035045707?pt=UK_Health_Beauty_Fragrances_Men_s_Fragrances_Aftershave_PP&hash=item27d27baf4b

That's actually quite fab because it's handbag sized I really like Fergie Outspoken, and was delighted when the Avon lady gave me a 2ml sample for my bag

jellyhead

I think she'll probably complain about the £10 because it's 'the norm' and so is the wine.

My sister bought me the game of 'beetle' for my 40th I know she wouldn't appreciate it, but I think something nostalgic from her childhood is an appropriate 40th present, and maybe you could get it for less than £10

cutestkids

I would give her a card and nothing else she sounds like a horrible, spoilt person and needs to wake up to herself

nearlyrich

We only buy presents for adults with a birthday with a nought on the end in our family there are six siblings so every 10 years you get a pressie woth £50, we have just got to the end of 40ths and started on 50ths with in-laws as well as actual siblings...

If one of my sister's was so obviously grasping and ungrateful they would be lucky to get a card.