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Sisters 40th birthday - what she's expecting, what I can afford!
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Putting money is a card is what we normally do for each others birthday, so I'm not doing anything different from the norm! Even my mum is putting money in a card for her, she's just putting more in than normal.
She is so fussy, a few years ago a friend got her a lovely picture of them both and put it in a lovely frame, and my sister did nothing but moan about it cos its not something she would like!
In which case, perhaps just give her the wine.
It's more than enough if it's something she'd like."One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
Person_one wrote: »I think I'd just say "You're welcome", whatever her response is. Repeatedly if necessary.
You seem to have some idea of manners, how has it escaped your sister so completely I wonder...
My sister is a law unto herself, seriously she is one of those people who thinks she better than everyone else. I love her to bits, but she has a terrible attitude.0 -
Your sister is an ungrateful woman! No one has the right to tell anyone how to spend their money (unless you owe them money).This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0
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balletshoes wrote: »jackie do you care if you continue to get presents on your birthday from your siblings?
If you don't, I really would suggest you go with what you've got for your sister, then after the birthday, suggest to all your siblings that after birthdays this year, you don't buy pressies for each other anymore.
Quite honestly, if all they do is swap cash on birthdays, it seems a pretty pointless exercise anyway.0 -
Oh - and I'd make her a cake. Just because it's a nice thought.
You can always stuff some in her mouth if she goes to say anything ungrateful
"One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
balletshoes wrote: »jackie do you care if you continue to get presents on your birthday from your siblings?
If you don't, I really would suggest you go with what you've got for your sister, then after the birthday, suggest to all your siblings that after birthdays this year, you don't buy pressies for each other anymore.
Oh I don't mind about birthdays, to me after a certain age it's just another day, but I do understand that they mean a lot to other people, especially when is a special birthday, I guess that's why I'm dreading giving her the gift.
I was 40 a few years ago and I didn't get a big fuss made by my sister. I did have a party at home which was arranged by my husband and my sister gave me a bottle of expensive body lotion, but my niece whispered to me "that was my mums but she didn't like it so she gave it to you",but I didn't make a fuss of it because I wasn't expecting anything like that from her, and I would never have said what my niece said, because it would probably have caused her embarrassment!0 -
If money is as tight as a duck's behind, and your family know that, from what you have said absolutely nothing you could afford would be good enough. Chanel perfume indeed! How very presumptuous of her. I'd take that tenner out of the card and keep it safely in your wallet.0
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Quite honestly, if all they do is swap cash on birthdays, it seems a pretty pointless exercise anyway.
Well here I agree with you 100% BUT my sister keeps saying no and as my birthday is before hers, I always just give her money. It is very pointless, but she will not listen.
My husband and his siblings don't gift each other when its their birthdays because its pointless, but I think my sister wants to keep the birthday thing going because its just me and her!0 -
I think I would just give her the wine, £15 is a lot for a bottle of wine, it must be a nice one and as someone already said, knowing what her favourite wine is & getting it is far better than getting any old bottle because you knew she drank red wine, for instance.
I would also suggest stopping presents if you're fearful of her reaction - that would take the joy out of it for me and it's a horrible thing for someone to take the joy out of my giving them a birthday gift.
She's actually also being very disrespectful of your financial situation if she's expecting you to spend far more than you can afford. My pensioner parents told us before Xmas that my youngest DD's 18th birthday would signal the end of them buying presents for my family and my siblings/their families as it's just too costly. We have no problem with that and were just glad they felt they could say that, I don't want them to be struggling just so that we/dd's get a gift, they are better spending their money on essentials for themselves.0 -
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