Sisters 40th birthday - what she's expecting, what I can afford!

Mojisola

jackie_w wrote: »

My mum has been "reminding" me about it keeps asking me what I'm getting her because its her 40th and how much of a special birthday it is and how much she is spending on her!!

And does your Mum know how short of money you are at the moment?

If they both know but still think you should spend a lot on gifts - there's no hope for it but to put up with their moans.

If they don't realise money is so tight, they won't understand why you're being careful with your money.

pmlindyloo

Just an idea!

Instead of putting a tenner in her card why don't you spend it on a nice photo frame and do a collage of photos for her?

I've done this for various relatives/family and they have been over the moon.

It does show that some thought has gone into her presents and is fairly easy to do as long as you are the type that has lots of photos!

jackie_w

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Your sister is hte one fairly and squarely in the wrong, here. I'd never expect / hint that my sisters should shell out that kind of cash.

Edited to add - won't your Mum say something to your sister along the line of, "really, darling, it's incredibly rude and mercenary to consider birthday presents in that way, you should be ashamed of yourself"

Oh I wish she would say that, but I'm expecting something along the lines of "you really could have made more of an effort!"

Last year when it was my sisters birthday, my LO was seriously ill in hospital, and my sister was spitting feathers because I didn't phone her to wish her happy birthday.

Pixiechic

Her expectations are not your problem. A gift that is within your means is more than anyone could and should ask for.

It's not your problem to deal with, it's your sisters. I agree with building with lego, if she is rude it would be just a card next year!

My sister would never be like nor would I with her.

It's a real shame when you 'dread' giving someone a gift for fear of their reaction.

mrcow

Also (it may sound a bit naff) but my mother and I always swap free presents at Christmas (it's a kind of competition). I go around all the premium beauty counters collecting smaples of perfume and creams etc. It's amazing how it builds up and then put it all onto a toiletry bag for her.

She does the same for me (Clinique, lancome, chanel, Estee lauder, Molton Brown, l'Occitaine etc) and it's a lovely pamper type gift that doesn't cost a bean. Not quite a bottle of Chanel Noir, but fussy and nice to open anyways.

jackie_w

mrcow wrote: »

Can I just go against the grain here (having sisters of your age etc). I would feel upset if my sister put a tenner in a card for my 40th.

It's almost like, I can't be bothered, so I didn't bother.

Can you really not think of anything a little more creative to spend the £10 on? Something that she can like and keep as a memory of a major birthday?

Putting money is a card is what we normally do for each others birthday, so I'm not doing anything different from the norm! Even my mum is putting money in a card for her, she's just putting more in than normal.

She is so fussy, a few years ago a friend got her a lovely picture of them both and put it in a lovely frame, and my sister did nothing but moan about it cos its not something she would like!

mrcow

Also, chose a magazine she'd like and get her three months subscription for £1.

Elle magazine are doing a free Benefit mascara with each magazine - making your money stretch a bit further. It looks better than money in a card.

Person_one

I think I'd just say "You're welcome", whatever her response is. Repeatedly if necessary.

You seem to have some idea of manners, how has it escaped your sister so completely I wonder...

balletshoes

jackie_w wrote: »

Putting money is a card is what we normally do for each others birthday, so I'm not doing anything different from the norm! Even my mum is putting money in a card for her, she's just putting more in than normal.

She is so fussy, a few years ago a friend got her a lovely picture of them both and put it in a lovely frame, and my sister did nothing but moan about it cos its not something she would like!

jackie do you care if you continue to get presents on your birthday from your siblings?

If you don't, I really would suggest you go with what you've got for your sister, then after the birthday, suggest to all your siblings that after birthdays this year, you don't buy pressies for each other anymore.

jackie_w

Mojisola wrote: »

And does your Mum know how short of money you are at the moment?

If they both know but still think you should spend a lot on gifts - there's no hope for it but to put up with their moans.

If they don't realise money is so tight, they won't understand why you're being careful with your money.

They are aware of how tight money is just now.