Worst Dating Experience?

justme111

If it is your biggest problem then you have a good life . You done your bit , if she still getting physical qith you its her choice, your consciense clear whatever happens if it is on her initiative

paulineb_2

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

WELL. I'm gonna be honest and more than lilely open myself up for some criticism but there you go. I told her in person on Sunday, (she came round cos I just wanted a chat) that I knew in my heart of hearts I wasn't ready for dating and that it wouldn't be fair of me to even consider doing it as I didn't want to mess her around etc.

I said I would like to be friends and she was really understanding and thanked me for being considerate and open. I said I was currently watching Dexter (I borrowed the boxset off a friend, awesome program by the way) and she said she'd like to stay and watch it with me for a while.

Anyway, about 2 episodes in and we're rather snug for a friendship. Practically cuddling and she was stroking my back. I'm struggling with this, there is obviously chemistry and we get on so well. Feel like I've known her for ages, but I know it's unfair and I shouldn't be letting that happen!:(

Well your other option is just to date her and see how it goes.
Seriously, theres nothing wrong with still having feelings for an ex, but your ex is gone.

You either date this girl properly or agree to be friends.
No half measures, no mixed messages. Its quite easily done.

Because if you dont make up your mind what to do and stick to it, you may end up losing this girl to someone else who does want to date her or be friends with her.

I absolutely appreciate that it must be tough being out of a long term relationship. Ive been there. But personally, Id give myself a shake and tell myself that my ex, however wonderful and lovely she is, isnt coming back.

And then sit down and think do you want this girl as a friend or do you want more. And if you just want her as a friend, then be her friend and leave her to find someone else who does want to date her.

Im afraid there are times in this life where timing may be off but we still need to do things and make decisions that are best for us, but are also best for the other person in the equation as well.

Orlando_Virgin

paulineb wrote: »

Im afraid there are times in this life where timing may be off but we still need to do things and make decisions that are best for us, but are also best for the other person in the equation as well.

Thanks for your advice, I think this bit is the most appropriate of all of it and you're absolutely right. I'm still mixing in between dating and friendship.

Truth be told I have completely levelled with the fact that my ex isn't coming back and feel even better to say I'm actually OK with that. I think the best thing to do for her and I is to say friends for now. If she then meets someone else and starts to date them then that's fair enough, I'll deal with that. But at least I made a decision and stuck with it.

paulineb_2

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

What a loser. Life isn't like Hollyoaks or whatever twoddle you've been using to guide you. You should have just got on with it, hidden your real feelings and had lots of sex to get over your ex. She could have been perfect for you but now you'll never know because you acted like a 14 year old school girl.

At the very least you should have, how shall I put this? I think the phrase 'hump her and dump her' is what i'm looking for.

This made me laugh, for all the wrong reasons mind you, but funny all the same.

PS, its not great advice as far as Im concerned.

stellagreen84

That's really funny.

aileth

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

What a loser. Life isn't like Hollyoaks or whatever twoddle you've been using to guide you. You should have just got on with it, hidden your real feelings and had lots of sex to get over your ex. She could have been perfect for you but now you'll never know because you acted like a 14 year old school girl.

At the very least you should have, how shall I put this? I think the phrase 'hump her and dump her' is what i'm looking for.

And they say chivalry is dead!

Orlando_Virgin

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

What a loser. Life isn't like Hollyoaks or whatever twoddle you've been using to guide you. You should have just got on with it, hidden your real feelings and had lots of sex to get over your ex. She could have been perfect for you but now you'll never know because you acted like a 14 year old school girl.

At the very least you should have, how shall I put this? I think the phrase 'hump her and dump her' is what i'm looking for.

Haha, I'm getting completely hammered by this post and even I laughed at it.

I've done all that sh*t in the past and half of my mates told me to do the same. Your version of twoddle is my version of respect, if I just want a bang I'll go out and get one from someone who wants exactly that. I saw that happen on Hollyoaks, so it should be doable

consultant31

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

Haha, I'm getting completely hammered by this post and even I laughed at it.

I've done all that sh*t in the past and half of my mates told me to do the same. Your version of twoddle is my version of respect, if I just want a bang I'll go out and get one from someone who wants exactly that. I saw that happen on Hollyoaks, so it should be doable

Well I think you sound like a lovely, respectable (and respectful) man and I wish my (very hurt) daughter could find someone just like you after the b****** she married did the dirty on her!

miss_independent

consultant31 wrote: »

Well I think you sound like a lovely, respectable (and respectful) man and I wish my (very hurt) daughter could find someone just like you after the b****** she married did the dirty on her!

I agree! We need more men like you Orlando_Virgin. I'm sure that when the timing is right you will have no problem finding the right girl. We are all looking for someone with your attitude, please don't change and good luck.

Lexxi

I think you're very brave just getting back out there. It will be a while before I'm ready to start dating again! All you can do is see how things go, it could be that this new woman isn't right for you regardless of where your heart is at now. As long as you aren't using her as a replacement for what you have lost from your relationship.

I thought of another bad date, I was about 17/18 and the guy had gone to school with my older sister and we bumped into each other got talking and arranged to meet. After the, not very exciting, date he asked for my number, so I put it in his phone.
I had just got home and got in the door when he knocked and told me that the number wasn't working. I don't know if I was more stunned he knew where I lived or that he had knocked on my door for the correct number!
I hadn't actually realised it was the wrong number at the time so it was an honest mistake, the guy then hounded me for the next 3 weeks sending about 4 texts at a time.