May The Force Be With YOU!

thriftylass

angelpye wrote: »

Well done NSK mummy! Every girl deserves a treat especially one who is working hard!

I have been paid today too and also feel relief and excitement for the sight if £££'s! I have to move some of it to my mortgage account as everyday I don't I am charged interest on the small overdraft I have.

Will sort my budget out today and set as tight as I can....must do new freezer inventory as I know I have quite a bit in there. Madam two yogurts really sulking about lack of treats in house but does not seem to see the correlation between eating four packets of crisps, two yogurts, and half a packet of biscuits to those things running out and not being replaced until they should have lasted! So frustrating, we keep arguing and I have started to feel her helping herself is just plain disrespectful! She even defrosted a packet of bacon the other day to have for lunch - which I know sounds petty but it was for spaghetti on my meal plan. She just has got it into her head that she doesn't have to ask, then I get cross and ultimately feel disrespected and hurt. She moans no sweet stuff but eats it in two days and all the eggs so can't bake. Refuses breakfast then wants to snack all day, have a lunch that's fit for dinner and dinner with dessert. I feed my kids well with plenty but she is just taking the Michael. Rant over, just no where else to vent it! And become much worse this month especially as my sister came down and bought tons of snacks and always does like its normal to have four types of chocolate in the house?!

Apologies but really getting me down and messes with my budget as well as causes a constant struggle

DS is only two and still loves fruit and is easy to be told off not get a yoghurt from the fridge himself but ask. And if he doesn't eat his tea or other meal there aren't any treats like yogurt (not that we use treats as an incentive to eat up, more like you haven't eaten any of your tea you can't be hungry and wont need a biscuit then). Luckily he can't reach the sweetie cupboard, yet. But I can imagine that getting harder as they get older. My parents always had a snack and sweetie cupboard full of stuff but everything was counted and I got into big trouble when I took sth and then rearranged the packets so it wouldn't be obvious (always took two as it's too obvious if an uneven number suddenly becomes even lol), so I learnt my lesson. Sweets and snacks were almost rationed too much though. Only on weekends and special occations. So we take it a bit easier but I'd like to do the same and make DS aware off the fact that things have to last and treats are treats only when eaten in moderation. My parents allowed other people to give me sweets anytime. I just wasn't allowed to eat them till the allocated time. I do sth similar with DS as you can't prevent people or be angry with them if they bring sth. for the wee ones. Not looking fwd to when he's a teenage eating machine in a few years time though....

his_missus

Hugs, Mrs Toasts xxx

Won't be a SFD as I'm treating us to a carvery tonight and as the sun is shining I think Hubby has ideas of a mini pub crawl back to home.

See you all in Sparta tomorrow xxx

angelpye

Hi NSK, thanks for reply. I do try to get MTY involved with the shopping ie that she gets to choose some meals, snacks cereals and what sandwich stuff she would like and we negotiate a little due to unrealistic or too unhealthy. I haven't tried getting her to price up but whenever we are at a checkout together she is always shocked.
She is almost 15 and is keen on cooking at school so I think I might start setting her a budget to cook once a week for me so she can start to understand. She does this at school as the classes take it in turns to price up a cheap lunch for so much per head to be cooked.
I feel it's escalated in line with I can't be bothered to help you or do my chores attitude so it's all probably connected and needs tackling - also no pocket money if no chores completed satisfactorily so she has less cash for junk ATM.

My sister...I love her tons but we are very different. She has a junk cupboard at home and the kids have stuff throughout the day whereas I am opposite and think crisps etc are occasional. The problem is she brings her kids and says they go without here - I am starving them almost and it's not fair. I say it should be fine to go stay and live how others live but she then says well if I pay for it then its not your problem! She doesn't understand it's a lifestyle choice that wasn't originally due to finances but is reinforced - but can't explain clear enough without risk of insulting her. I don't mind that's how she lives - her kids are fine and eat plenty healthy too but again we are very different. When she was here MTY was eating two chocolate bars, two crisps, two yogurts, biscuits and pudding after dinner - insane! Now moaning nothing in.
Maybe next visit I will just say this way or don't come cos can't deal with aftermath.

thriftylass

Angelpye, Or have a price tally, say the snacks you just munched in one sitting where £8.90. Maybe that'll will work if she's shocked to see the total price of shopping in the shop. I guess her age doesn't make it easy either....:mad: I think you're trying the right thing it's just hard with a teenager.

Think you're sister isn't helping though. She should understand, different house different rules. Just because her kids don't get crisps doesn't mean you neglect them or sth. Crazy....Wonder if she has problems getting her kids to eat normal meals if they snack all day....two chocolate bars, two crisps, two yogurts, biscuits and pudding after dinner :eek::eek:

Anyway, back to work

angelpye

Thrifty lass I am the same with dd2 - if you are not hungry then you are not hungry. She doesn't have to clear her plate though but just make an effort otherwise yogurt etc not needed.

I am not overly strict - I buy naughty deserts, make syrup sponge and cakes etc and she has sweets quite often but tbh I don't think I could buy them often enough unless my cupboards were always full of junk and she had free reign. I don't mind if visitors bring chocolate and crisps for my girls and they can eat them straight away as long as dinner isn't within half an hour. It's just I don't see them as food or other than snack bars as part of my food shopping. Yogurts I do buy for calcium as pudding on an average day. It's just the expectation to help herself to all food whatever time it is whenever she fancies something.

My sisters kids eat massive dinners too - same as an adult but I have hinted that this needs to be monitored as weight is starting to show on the eldest and weight is an issue in our family. Dd1 has the same but at 15 she is my size and needs it. She is getting heavy though due to snacking which is a problem as teens are very conscious of weight but difficult to verbalise without hitting self esteem.

She has woken and had cereal for the first time in ages I think due to my rant so maybe it's slowly going in?

Thank you for the space to rant and advice. Parenthood is a complicated process with teens.

NinjaSavingKat

Mrs_Toast wrote: »

Just a quick update today. Not had a SFD but I think I'm allowed as we lost our step-grandad yesterday. At least he isn't suffering anymore.

How are you today my lovely? Tell us a little about him .. he sounds very young! x x ...

stationeryspender

Hugs to Mrs Toast. Thinking of you.

I am chalking today up to a SFD...I have to buy my colleague's leaving gift and then head into work to deliver it, but that will be covered by the contributions from everyone. After that, heading home to work on new budget. Like all I am thrilled to be out of May. I have a new mantra for June - I'm stopping all the stupid spends and will aiming to get my SFD total up there to hit Kat's target. See you all in Sparta!

NinjaSavingKat

Angelpye I don't envy you one bit but I agree with Thrifty that it's your house and your rules! You have to protect your child from what you said might escalate into a weight problem and I certainly don't agree that a child is deprived just because they don't get sweets, crisps and chocolate!!

What you are nagging her to do now ( eat breakfast and eat properly ) will ring home when she is in the supermarket at Uni and remembers that Mummy told her about a balanced diet and buying everyday value pasta is better than a pot noodle. I am glad she is shocked by prices - thats something. Making her cook is a brilliant idea. It will give her an idea of how fun it can be to create something and how irritating when someone says "I don't like that"...; - )

Mrs_Toast

Hello everyone, what a gorgeous day for payday

Kat, I'm doing a bit better today thanks. He was 87 I think and as he was a miner when he was young, I think he did really well to get that far. Unfortunately it's also bringing back memories of when I was pregnant with DS and we lost my Nana suddenly, then my Grandpa when DS was 2 months old.

I've had a lovely day today though. After my midwife appointment we went to the local park and had a picnic. My sister and her kids joined us and treated us to ice cream as we bought lunch yesterday. It's going to be a SFD finally. Tomorrow we need to buy a new chain and sprockets for DH's motorbike but it's coming out of savings which is great. We're also planning a trip out to a local castle for a picnic and day out. Should only need to buy petrol and entrance to the castle as well as the part so should be cheap before I do my food shop. Food shop is only adding up to about £18 though. Planning a DIY day on Sunday so that should be a SFD.

All this talk of getting kids to eat healthy makes me think I'm very lucky with DS. I've always kept chocolate and crisps out of the house unless for a treat as DH and I eat them all too. DS has healthy snack bars, yogurt and fruit for snacks and has done since he was little. A friend of mine's little girl eats crisps, chocolate and sweets like they're going out of fashion and when she comes to mine won't eat sandwiches for lunch as she's used to sausage rolls. I think as long as they know when treats are treats then they'll get into good habits.

Right, off to finalise the shopping list and make HM breaded fish, wedges and veg for tea :T

AuntyRuby

Hi everyone,
Sending hugs to Mrs Toast x

We are away to caravan for DS1's 19th birthday so chuffed that we will all be together. So unlikely I'll be on until Monday as no internet access. It's been a good month as I've clocked up a good number of SFD's and come in under budget for food and only a small amount spent on cc. Looking forward to June and decluttering more and making extra cash.

I need to read your June rules later tonight NSK to make sure I stick to them before we head off for the weekend. Looking forward to the challenge!

See you all in June!
AuntyRuby