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Ex wants to take DS on holiday!
Comments
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Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »I don't think she was trying to have a pop, I didn't see its relevance either.
(repeated advice from various gender posters snipped)
You didn't because you editied off the part I was replying to as well, so yes it is having a pop, as the part you both choose to ignore is relevant, naturally I don't want to be part of the 'lets press the thanks button club'
So both of you, if you don't really understand the relevance of me replying to somebody else's post ? Then don't worry about it, if the original questioner wants me to clarify, then they have to ask the specific question not be ambiguous about it, taking into account what I am responding to, since we all breath the same air, you, they or I are no better than the other.0 -
I'm not sure why you could not see the cause, I was responding to Floss2 's post which included " because obviously your offspring would be disappointed!"
I'm not sure if you are aware, but you didn't get to choose your parents , just like your children didn't get to choose their parents, I could never be dissapointed with my parents, they have done what they deemed best within the constraints of their ability and time.
So while it seems you are trying to have a pop (which is not working) there is logic in the 5th commandment (after all I didn't make it up), absoulutely none of us would be here without the input of a female and male, so one is not better than the other, EVER.
According to your religion maybe, but plenty of people believe the opposite. And if they're right that would mean plenty of children do choose one over both or there'd be no pregnancy as the result of rape or prostitution or sperm-stealing. So belief wise it's whatever floats your boat really. (Edited to add: I did look for the relevance and completely missed it as well, hey ho, sometimes we think what we're typing is really obvious...)
masonsmum - did the Court deliberately limit contact time because he was unreliable etc? Legally you don't have to deny him the additional days unless the Contact Order includes a restriction e.g. DSD's contact order specifially prohibited overnight contact or contact at her mothers home. It'll usually have a bit in it along the lines of 'other time as mutually agreed'.
Conversely you don't have to agree either if the dates aren't convenient, though it's usually advised that you are supposed to encourage contact, or if you have good reason to believe that longer periods of time will result in neglect/harm etc.
But I'd go with the "sorry darling, daddy hasn't mentioned this to me, I'll have to wait for him to let me know the details before I can decide".Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants - Michael Pollan
48 down, 22 to go
Low carb, low oxalate Primal + dairy
From size 24 to 16 and now stuck...0 -
Bluemeanie wrote: »Completely agree. I don't often feel sorry for men, but I really do where child contact cases are concerned. I see it over and over again, the PWC using the child as a weapon under the guise of "he's incapable of this etc". Shame they didn't consider this and made better choices or exercised better judgement before they laid on their backs.
That's an awful thing to say.
How would a woman know a man could possibly be incapable with a child, if they never lay on their backs in the first place and had a child together? People can and do change you know.
OP, I wouldn't even entertain the idea if he hasn't mentioned it to you.
My ex wanted to take the children away a few years ago, abroad and he was told No chance. I get to take them away because they are my priority whereas his priority is himself.Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...0 -
That's an awful thing to say.
How would a woman know a man could possibly be incapable with a child, if they never lay on their backs in the first place and had a child together? People can and do change you know.
OP, I wouldn't even entertain the idea if he hasn't mentioned it to you.
My ex wanted to take the children away a few years ago, abroad and he was told No chance. I get to take them away because they are my priority whereas his priority is himself.
It's not an awful thing to say , it's the truth, you ask the question, how could a woman know..., people do change, in a balanced view, could it not be the female has changed or the man has 'realised' he has made an error?
It works both ways.0 -
According to your religion maybe, but plenty of people believe the opposite. And if they're right that would mean plenty of children do choose one over both or there'd be no pregnancy as the result of rape or prostitution or sperm-stealing. So belief wise it's whatever floats your boat really. (Edited to add: I did look for the relevance and completely missed it as well, hey ho, sometimes we think what we're typing is really obvious...)
I'm not a religious person, and what was meant was not in the context of choosing one over the other.
Their skin, flesh and bone are also mine, but their mind body and soul is their own.0 -
Why is it always about who is right & who is wrong.
Just because Dad parents/does things one way & Mum does it differently, doesn't make either party right or wrong.
It's just different. End of.
My Ex husband doesn't parent our children in the same way i do. but i wouldn't say his way is wrong.......It's just not the way i would do it.
No need to turn him into the worst contender for Father of the Year.
Autism Mum Survival Kit: Duct tape, Polyfilla, WD40, Batteries (lots of),various chargers, vats of coffee, bacon & wine.
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Why is it always about who is right & who is wrong.
Just because Dad parents/does things one way & Mum does it differently, doesn't make either party right or wrong.
It's just different. End of.
My Ex husband doesn't parent our children in the same way i do. but i wouldn't say his way is wrong.......It's just not the way i would do it.
No need to turn him into the worst contender for Father of the Year.
Careful, you may get kicked out of the 'club, you are absolutely correct though.0 -
Why is it always about who is right & who is wrong.
Just because Dad parents/does things one way & Mum does it differently, doesn't make either party right or wrong.
It's just different. End of.
My Ex husband doesn't parent our children in the same way i do. but i wouldn't say his way is wrong.......It's just not the way i would do it.
No need to turn him into the worst contender for Father of the Year.
In general I'd agree with you - doing it differently isn't inherently wrong. But that's assuming the other parent is responsible and effective as opposed to neglectful and/or abusive. Only someone who knows the situation first hand can know whether the OP's making a mountain out of a molehill.Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants - Michael Pollan
48 down, 22 to go
Low carb, low oxalate Primal + dairy
From size 24 to 16 and now stuck...0 -
That's an awful thing to say. Obviously you are entitled to your opinion but I disagree!
How would a woman know a man could possibly be incapable with a child, if they never lay on their backs in the first place and had a child together? People can and do change you know. And how does a man know his ex will use the child as a weapon, if and when they ever split up! Affairs etc make some people very bitter!
OP, I wouldn't even entertain the idea if he hasn't mentioned it to you.
My ex wanted to take the children away a few years ago, abroad and he was told No chance. I get to take them away because they are my priority whereas his priority is himself. You've completely proved my point by this statement. This may be your opinion on the situation of your ex, but it isn't your right to make this judgement. Children have two parents whether or not you like it. And women should respect that. Just because you exercised poor judgement in choosing a Father for your kids, you shouldn't reflect that on your kids.
It's not an awful thing to say. Women do wield far too much power where contact with children are concerned. What makes me laugh more is, a lot of the time they are happy for the man to be around etc, then when they don't want him anymore suddenly he's not worthy of being a Father. That's the chance you take and a regret/decision you have to live with! Not punish the children through a lack of relationship with their Father.
My parents were together my whole life and my Dad was far from perfect!I'm never offended by debate & opinions. As a wise man called Voltaire once said, "I disagree with what you say, but will defend until death your right to say it."
Mortgage is my only debt - Original mortgage - January 2008 = £88,400, March 2014 = £47,000 Chipping away slowly! Now saving to move.0 -
Why is it always about who is right & who is wrong.
Just because Dad parents/does things one way & Mum does it differently, doesn't make either party right or wrong.
It's just different. End of.
My Ex husband doesn't parent our children in the same way i do. but i wouldn't say his way is wrong.......It's just not the way i would do it.
No need to turn him into the worst contender for Father of the Year.
That's what I'm trying to say. You just said it better!I'm never offended by debate & opinions. As a wise man called Voltaire once said, "I disagree with what you say, but will defend until death your right to say it."
Mortgage is my only debt - Original mortgage - January 2008 = £88,400, March 2014 = £47,000 Chipping away slowly! Now saving to move.0
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