Ex wants to take DS on holiday!

masonsmum

I have posted on this board several times before about my problems with my ex, he is basically a selfish violent abusive man who wants access to our 6 year old son when it suits his social life!

DS came home from his dads last night and stated "My dad says you need to hurry up and make a decision about me going on holiday with him he wants to book it this week" I was utterly gobsmacked, there has been no mention of this to me? No phone call or text and this is the first Ive heard, so Im not aware of venue, dates, anything??

What would you do in this instance, we dont really communicate now as contact was advised by the police to go through my OH as ex was previously threatening me? But he hasnt been in touch with him either?

1. Im not really happy about DS going in the first instance if it is genuine, I went on family holidays with him when we were still together and he wouldnt even go in the pool with his own son, its all about "his holiday, topping up the tan and relaxing" so Im worried he wont keep a close eye on son. DS states that they are going with ex new girlfriend, who he only met last week.

2. I just cant believe he is stating all this to son and not getting in touch, I dont know if Im wrong to think he does not genuinely want to take son and will paint me as the bad one once the holiday is booked?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated?

rainbow_791

masonsmum wrote: »

I have posted on this board several times before about my problems with my ex, he is basically a selfish violent abusive man who wants access to our 6 year old son when it suits his social life!

DS came home from his dads last night and stated "My dad says you need to hurry up and make a decision about me going on holiday with him he wants to book it this week" I was utterly gobsmacked, there has been no mention of this to me? No phone call or text and this is the first Ive heard, so Im not aware of venue, dates, anything??

What would you do in this instance, we dont really communicate now as contact was advised by the police to go through my OH as ex was previously threatening me? But he hasnt been in touch with him either?

1. Im not really happy about DS going in the first instance if it is genuine, I went on family holidays with him when we were still together and he wouldnt even go in the pool with his own son, its all about "his holiday, topping up the tan and relaxing" so Im worried he wont keep a close eye on son. DS states that they are going with ex new girlfriend, who he only met last week.

2. I just cant believe he is stating all this to son and not getting in touch, I dont know if Im wrong to think he does not genuinely want to take son and will paint me as the bad one once the holiday is booked?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated?

From the highlighted part alone, no way would I let him take my son on holiday

masonsmum

Thanks Rainbow I think I just wanted someone to clarify it for me! OH says he will go with whatever I decide, I know if he does ask and I say no I will be subjected to a barrage of abuse for weeks!

sassyblue

Might be mind games OP, as nothing has been mentioned to you l'd ignore it until your ex asks you himself, and when he does a firm 'No' if you're in any doubt. xx

CH27

Just say no.
Better for you to have a barrage of abuse than your son being in danger in a pool.

pimento

He's the child's father. Why shouldn't he take him on holiday as long as the child wants to go?

duchy

I'd tell your son the truth...That Daddy hasn't contacted you about a holiday so you don't know if it's a good idea or not.

Sounds like Dad is playing a mind game...If you say No you're the bad guy...... what are the odds if you say yes then it'll be "too late to book" and it'll be your fault for not "letting him know" on time.

duchy

pimento wrote: »

He's the child's father. Why shouldn't he take him on holiday as long as the child wants to go?

and so long as the child is safe...............however *MOST* NRPs don't try to make arrangements by telepathy. A possible indication of the NRP's commonsense standards ....and most people prefer their children to be supervised by an adult with some commonsense.

pimento

Their children rather than her child.

masonsmum

pimento wrote: »

He's the child's father. Why shouldn't he take him on holiday as long as the child wants to go?

Being someone's father doesnt automatically make them a responsible person! There are loads of people in my family/friends who I would let care for my son for a whole week, its just unfortunate that his father is not one of them?

claire16c

I would ignore it.

Could it be he's not told you, so when he goes off on holiday next week he would tell your son its your fault because you wouldnt let him? But he never had any intention of taking him?