Ex wants to take DS on holiday!

masonsmum

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

Why? A child doesn't have to have a holiday do they?

Thanks for that, and no we will not be holidaying this year as the finances will not allow it as we had 2 last year, one here and one oversea's so by no means does he miss out!

Also in question to the time ex has DS "and can do what he wants", he gets him from 6pm on a Saturday night until 6pm on a Sunday every second weekend so dont think they would get much of a holiday in that time!

Also DS states that the holiday destination is Benidorm, not really the place for a child/family friendly holiday, its where ex goes 3/4 times a year with friends for a single mans holiday, I imagine DS getting trailed around all the dingy pubs??

DUTR

duchy wrote: »

Umm because she is the person the child lives with perhaps ?

I had a good relationship with my ex husband -when he wanted to take our son away he had the commonsense and good manners to ask me if he could and if I felt the destination was suitable. Every time ! I knew what committments he had-hospital appointments, special events coming up at school ,important parties etc even when school holidays were (he didn't) so common sense to ask me.

In fact the first time he explained he wanted to take his new girlfriend too- I said I had no problem in principle BUT as I hadn't met the new girlfriend I'd prefer to meet her first before sending our son off for a week with her. My ex had NO problem with this -and we all spent a pleasent day together and the following weekend we ALL went to the travel agent as they felt as an ex travel agent I'd pick the best holiday (the travel agency staff were VERY confused lol).

Had I not felt she was responsible enough or if my son didn't seem comfortable enough with her I'd have suggested they started with a shorter break than a week and built up to a full week and my ex would have respected my view.... even if he didn't like it. (we did discuss this option before I met her)

A child was with Sharon Matthews but that didn't make her a responsible parent, I'm not for one minute suggesting that the Op is anything like SM, I'm glad you and your child's Father is on communication terms, as other readers should aim for a similar situation.

At least with your situation you didn't automatically or seek ways to say no! I have friends in a similar setup to yours, my friends and their ex's trusts the other parent enough to know that either would kep the child's best interest as priority and leave their own insecurities jealousy and bad feeling 2nd, they don't seek to 'win' .

DUTR

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

Why? A child doesn't have to have a holiday do they?

No, so the Op can just say No and no requirement to offer explanation.

masonsmum wrote: »

Thanks for that, and no we will not be holidaying this year as the finances will not allow it as we had 2 last year, one here and one oversea's so by no means does he miss out!

Also in question to the time ex has DS "and can do what he wants", he gets him from 6pm on a Saturday night until 6pm on a Sunday every second weekend so dont think they would get much of a holiday in that time!

Also DS states that the holiday destination is Benidorm, not really the place for a child/family friendly holiday, its where ex goes 3/4 times a year with friends for a single mans holiday, I imagine DS getting trailed around all the dingy pubs??

There are plenty of things to do in Benidorm for all age groups, the final descision will always be yours, I'm only asking as if you were 100% sure that all the negative things would occur during a holiday with just the Dad and Child then you may not have created the thread.
So in answer to your original query, just say no, the child can go on holiday with you next time you are able.

pimento

As Judge Judy is prone to say "You picked him!"

iammumtoone

pimento wrote: »

As Judge Judy is prone to say "You picked him!"

In my case my ex was sweetness and light to me before I got too far involved (ie pregnant). Believe me I would certainly not willing have a child with a man who was violent to me and I am sure this is the case for most women including the OP. Until you have been in a situation with a violent partner you have no right to judge.

Person_one

pimento wrote: »

As Judge Judy is prone to say "You picked him!"

The victim blamer's mantra!

mum2one

apologies if this has been asked but does ur ex have any access for ur son - is there a court arrangement in place? x

masonsmum

mum2one wrote: »

apologies if this has been asked but does ur ex have any access for ur son - is there a court arrangement in place? x

Yes he does, he gets him from 6pm on a Saturday until 6pm on a Sunday every second weekend.

masonsmum

pimento wrote: »

As Judge Judy is prone to say "You picked him!"

And people change!! I was 19 when I met him and grew up and realised there was more to life than staying with a violent bully!

Oh how wonderful it must be to have never made a mistake or made the wrong choice in life!!

Joons

pimento wrote: »

As Judge Judy is prone to say "You picked him!"

That's as bad as saying `you made your bed`.....

...comment about as useful as the proverbial tea pot (shakes head).