Help needed over possible disciplinary please!

gibson123

ValHaller wrote: »

Have you ever been in OP's situation? It is far more stressful to be wrongly accused than to be caught for something which you are really guilty of.

Yes I have, AND I was pregnant, so I understand fully, that's why the post IS harsh, trying to get him to step back and look at this logically and reasonably. There is too much emotion, too much defensiveness, and that's when mistakes are made. If innocent, he does not have to prove himself to anyone, however they have to prove the case against him and also prove that the process used is fair. Coming out all guns blazing looking for revenge is a dangerous way to go about proving innocence.

antonic

ValHaller wrote: »

Have you ever been in OP's situation? It is far more stressful to be wrongly accused than to be caught for something which you are really guilty of.

I have !!!

It wasnt nice having it hanging over for me a year (when I knew I was innocent) and was indeed proved innocent.

After I was cleared, I put it behind me and moved on (literally) by choosing to move to a different office.

That was the best thing I did and I left with my reputation intact, my accuser had a less than intact reputation after the claims were disproved.

gibson123

antonic wrote: »

I have !!!

It wasnt nice having it hanging over for me a year (when I knew I was innocent) and was indeed proved innocent.

After I was cleared, I put it behind me and moved on (literally) by choosing to move to a different office.

That was the best thing I did and I left with my reputation intact, my accuser had a less than intact reputation after the claims were disproved.

They had nothing on me, but dismissed me anyway, I then engaged a lawyer, long story but I settled out of court. They were determined to get rid of me, as the owner thought pregnant women "are stupid and can't run a business" his words.

ValHaller

gibson123 wrote: »

Yes I have, AND I was pregnant, so I understand fully, that's why the post IS harsh, trying to get him to step back and look at this logically and reasonably. There is too much emotion, too much defensiveness, and that's when mistakes are made. If innocent, he does not have to prove himself to anyone, however they have to prove the case against him and also prove that the process used is fair. Coming out all guns blazing looking for revenge is a dangerous way to go about proving innocence.

The highlighted text is a very valid point. But I think that it was rather gross to suggest that

I believed your story, now I am not so sure, the more you get defensive, the more I doubt you.

you consider OP to be lying.

What you are suggesting and how you suggest it is very likely to increase stress in the OP and increase his intention to defend himself - when you yourself feel he is being too defensive. Do you intend for OP to self destruct?

AbbieCadabra

Ronald50 wrote: »

Another thing I said earlier is that I have a health condition that causes me to see things differently than 'normal'. The employer is aware of the condition...

if your employer is aware of your condition, would it be worth trying to explain how this situation is having such a detrimental effect on your health at the moment? they have a duty of care as your employer & there could well be implications for them if they let this drag on when they know how much distress this is causing you.

this must be an awful situation for you, try to keep calm, deep breaths, take care

LadyinBlack_2

This is getting big enough that the thread may be noticed by protagonists - please go back and read all your posts and edit. While there is nothing which is conclusively personally identifying. remove anything which may tend to narrow down either who your employer is or who you are.[/QUOTE]

^^ This. Your thread has had over 5,000 views. Please take care and good luck.

Ronald50

Have deleted but quoted posts are still showing..

jayII

Ronald: the easiest solution is to PM one of the board guides (I've pasted their links below) and ask them to delete the thread. Best to choose one who is currently online, if possible.

jobbingmusician, Fran, Kimitatsu

Ronald50

jayII wrote: »

Ronald: the easiest solution is to PM one of the board guides (I've pasted their links below) and ask them to delete the thread. Best to choose one who is currently online, if possible.

jobbingmusician, Fran, Kimitatsu

I have but nobody has got back to me.

Before they delete it I do want to thank people for replying.

Ronald50

OK. The thread can't be deleted according to the Board Guide but could I ask everyone to go and remove their posts where I've been quoted, or other posts with too much detail in. I'm trying to PM people but it's a long task.

Thanks all.