Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

itch_for_a_glitch

Scary story, hope my wife doesnt read it, she'll be off in a flash.

LannieDuck

Oh, good luck TWM. It's suddenly all happened really quickly. Make sure you treat DD to a nice quiet evening and take-away in front of the TV at your new place (or something similar).

Not a bad idea at all to spend some time with your family over the next few days, you and DD will benefit from their support.

It really shouldn't be a surprise to your OH after you've told him so many times that you're unhappy and want a divorce...

NAR

Well done Teawith milk, start of a whole new adventure for you and your daughter.
I would leave a note saying you will call him later, just in case he wonders about your whereabouts and hassles your mum.

tattycath

NAR wrote: »

Well done Teawith milk, start of a whole new adventure for you and your daughter.
I would leave a note saying you will call him later, just in case he wonders about your whereabouts and hassles your mum.

Good plan re note etc.
Good luck TWM ((hugs)) xx

thorsoak

Well done - you've done so well - good luck and every good wish for the future of you and your daughter x

tayforth

teawithmilk wrote: »

this is the last time i can post here until tomorrow when im back at work, got to log off DDs computer and clear all browsing history.

Spent all day clearing out most of my important stuff, now in a panic in case he gets back from work early. He shouldnt be home before 5 but you never know.

Im leaving today. Going to the rented house for me and DD. he will really kick off...god knows what will happen tonight. Dont even know how to tell him, seems a bit rubbish to leave a note.

House looks sad without all my stuff - didnt realise I had so much and was so messy.

Just planning on packing one more load in the car and going.

Still got loads of stuff here but got the essentials and anything else i find have left behind I can buy at 24 hr supermarket e.g. socks for DD.

Might be able to get online later if I go round to my mums- shes not bad on tecchie stuff for an 83 yr old and my brother has set her up with an apple mac and broadband!!

Wish me luck- have butterfiles in my tummy!

That's my girl! I'm so proud of you and I don't even know you. You've made such incredible progress so far, and I'm sure that you will breathe a huge sigh of relief when you finally drive away from your old life, towards your new one.

Enjoy your first evening of freedom with your DD - a cuppa, a takeaway, maybe a DVD if you can get the telly set up, and a good old-fashioned cuddle.

If you do get online tonight, let us know that you're OK xxx

LannieDuck

Hi Tea. Thinking of you. Hope yesterday went ok.

teawithmilk

Back at work OK today...must actually concentrate on getting some serious work done today as I am behind with everything and all my project deadlines are looming. Dont want to get the sack on top of everything else!

DD was an absolute star last night- helping to tidy up, unpack, not making a fuss, giving me cuddles and cheering me up, the only bad thing that happened was that whilst tidying up she found a huge bag of presents that I had stashed for her birthday/Christmas (I buy bargains in advance!) so I let her choose a couple as a treat for being so good. Small price to pay for her being such a perfect child. I can'y believe I am so lucky to have her.

She got up for school today quite happy and she seems really happy with the new house. I let her stay up late watching Spiderwick last night as I knew she would find it hard to get to sleep. So what, she has finished her SATs now anyway and its just the usual wind down towards the end of term.

I havent heard from Husband. I knew he would be on his way home at around 5ish yesterday and tried to call him but his phone was switched off, or he was in a no reception area. I left several messages and sent him a text saying that we were going to be staying away for a few days. He phoned me from the house phone (obviously he had just got in and seen my text)

I realise that I should have left a note but even that would have seemed a bit to late really.

He was ranting on about how I had been sneaky and devious (I knew he would say that) and he said that he would never forgive me. He was especially mad because he feels that because he apologised after our mega argument on Sunday (and he says I never apologise, I probably dont these days because I am so demoralised) that things were OK between us. One small apology isnt going to make up for 20 years of me being taken for granted.

Anyway he slammed the phone down on me..

he never phobned back,not even at DDs bedtime.

I have just e mailled him asking if we can go round tonight as DD says she wants to see him tonight and we could do with discussing some things face to face. I also doubt he has bothered with DDs pets so they will need feeding.

Im worried now that he will take it out on DD as he sees her as being complicit in all this. He did say when he was ranting at me that he would see her "whenever and wherever he wanted, on his terms" and I said fine, he could see her whenever he wanted (within reason)

So I will just have to see what happens today. Got to go pick up my divorce petition and sign it and return it.....he will go nuts because it has 6 grounds: it says that he takes no responsibility, he is jealous of the relationship I have with DD, he complains that i do not do anything for him, he drinks to excess, that we are now leading seperate lives, and that he doesnt contribute towards family life. This is all true but he will still go ballistic.

LannieDuck

:claps:

Brilliantly well done. That's a huge step, and it sounds as if it's gone as well as you could have hoped

As long as you remain reasonable with regards to access to DD, you can only let him play it out as he chooses. If he wants to mess around and refuse to see her etc, try not to let it get to you and try to protect DD from it as much as possible. You can't make him behave well if he doesn't want to.

teawithmilk

Thanks, it did go amazingly well actually. I've just got to keep telling myself that the sick feeling im getting will go away...the first day must always be the worst. DD has made a list (to keep her busy last night) of all the household things that we need. ive told her Im going to be spending a bit of money over the next few weeks and that anything she needs that she feels she has left at the other house and we cant pick up I will buy her new.

...feels a bit weird knowing how much money I will have to shell out over the next few months (conveyancing, solicitors, new furniture etc) when I have been so careful and paranoid about money for the last 2 years while I saved up.