Separated, how much should I provide?

kelpie35

JackRS wrote: »

The ex has been sorting out the loft (where she'd put my clothes) so I've collected most of my things, I need to sort through it and probably chuck alot, have a few charity bags through the door so...

She's asked me to clear the shed, which take a few trips. also asked me to clear any rubble and bricks etc which was the sort of things I could have done when I had the time on those weekends when she didn't want me there, so we'll have to see if I have time to do it all?

Took my daughter to the cinema this week which was nice, I really feel for her as she is in the middle of this and feels split in two. I said I'd take her to the new place but I don't want her mum knowing where I am until things have been finanlised as I've no idea what's she's capable of? Although my solicitor says that my address will be on documents shared with her solicitor so they will know soon, not sure how to keep it a secret?

Finance are tight with paying £1850 for deposit and months rent, another £240 went through for the driving lessons. Obviously there's all the setting up home costs mostly on the 'never never' (0% card). I also had pay an additional £150 on the allowance to the ex. They compromised their demand from £2900 to £2000, so my solicitor believed we needed demonstrate some movement for the court hearing and they had begun proceedings for a maintenance pending suit case which would of cost £4000 in fees on both sides. We haven't heard yet if they've accepted it?

I also got my first bill from my new solicitor £550 for few emails and phone calls! This morning I'm working on E forms, still waiting for pension value from work so can't submit it. The form for me won't have much in it as all I have is debt on the 0% card. My bank account is about to go overdrawn and I've 3 weeks to pay day!

Still living the dream...

Good to hear that you enjoyed your time with your daughter.

That is a shed load of money you are having to pay to your ex.
I am sure the courts will see you have bent over backwards to make life as easy as possible for all the family.

Is there any more news on the house sale front?

If I was you I would not bother about clearing rubble etc unless you need a job to pass the time away :rotfl:

Take time to enjoy your weekend :beer:

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

Good to hear that you enjoyed your time with your daughter.

That is a shed load of money you are having to pay to your ex.
I am sure the courts will see you have bent over backwards to make life as easy as possible for all the family.

Is there any more news on the house sale front?

If I was you I would not bother about clearing rubble etc unless you need a job to pass the time away :rotfl:

Take time to enjoy your weekend :beer:

Yeah house sale is progressing currently answering their solicitors questions ref planning permision on extension and garden sheds etc usual stuff. Probably on sched for September? However ex says will not sign to move out unless our settlement has been agreed so she can buy new place. I think she's trying for 100% of sale price on grounds of no morgage potential?

kelpie35

JackRS wrote: »

Yeah house sale is progressing currently answering their solicitors questions ref planning permision on extension and garden sheds etc usual stuff. Probably on sched for September? However ex says will not sign to move out unless our settlement has been agreed so she can buy new place. I think she's trying for 100% of sale price on grounds of no morgage potential?

As I don't understand all the legal implications I have no advice to offer you.

To me this just looks like her trying to bleed you dry and cause you more distress.

I just hope your solicitor can get the best result for you, as that is what you deserve.

justme111

JackRS wrote: »

Yeah house sale is progressing currently answering their solicitors questions ref planning permision on extension and garden sheds etc usual stuff. Probably on sched for September? However ex says will not sign to move out unless our settlement has been agreed so she can buy new place. I think she's trying for 100% of sale price on grounds of no morgage potential?

I understand on one hand she may be expected to keep similar quality of of life your income permitting for a certain while. Letting her buy mortgage free would be as if you paid her maintenance for the term her mortgage would been though which does not feel right. Sure your solicitors will find way round it. Keep us updated.

Lunar_Eclipse

JackRS wrote: »

I think she's trying for 100% of sale price on grounds of no morgage potential?

Can't see that happening, given the age of your children. Actually, given the age of your 'children', I'd be very surprised if a 50:50 wasn't awarded. I've never heard of a split in favour of a stay-at-home spouse once the kids are adults, although she might get lucky with spousal maintenance (which would be better for you since it gets paid over time as opposed to one lump and if you fall on hard times re:income, you could apply for a court review. Harder emotionally though since you'd remain tied financially.)

Try to keep positive.

LannieDuck

When will the finance part of the actual divorce be discussed? All of this back-and-forth seems a bit silly if it's only for a couple of months.

You really need the divorce settlement to go through asap since that's the part that's going to define your future, and it sounds as if that's going to have to end up going to court, so probably a couple of rounds of mediation first? Do you have a court date or anything?

JackRS

LannieDuck wrote: »

When will the finance part of the actual divorce be discussed? All of this back-and-forth seems a bit silly if it's only for a couple of months.

You really need the divorce settlement to go through asap since that's the part that's going to define your future, and it sounds as if that's going to have to end up going to court, so probably a couple of rounds of mediation first? Do you have a court date or anything?

Yes court date is set for October, so have a schedule of events e.g. E forms to be exchanged by end of August.

JackRS

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Can't see that happening, given the age of your children. Actually, given the age of your 'children', I'd be very surprised if a 50:50 wasn't awarded. I've never heard of a split in favour of a stay-at-home spouse once the kids are adults, although she might get lucky with spousal maintenance (which would be better for you since it gets paid over time as opposed to one lump and if you fall on hard times re:income, you could apply for a court review. Harder emotionally though since you'd remain tied financially.)

Try to keep positive.

Well I have been advised that in similar cases they have been awarded a greater proportion and maintenance for an agreed period. My son is not 18 until Feb and in FTE college so that will go in her favour? Struggling with the positive thoughts right now but I know I'm doing the right thing, just not sure what I'll be left with at the end of it all, at least my freedom and huge debts I guess.

justme111

Jack , greater proportion (which.is probably fair )does not equal 100% .hopefuly anywhere near it.

kelpie35

JackRS wrote: »

Well I have been advised that in similar cases they have been awarded a greater proportion and maintenance for an agreed period. My son is not 18 until Feb and in FTE college so that will go in her favour? Struggling with the positive thoughts right now but I know I'm doing the right thing, just not sure what I'll be left with at the end of it all, at least my freedom and huge debts I guess.

You will be left with your dignity and clear conscious that you have tried your best for your family. You are a hard worker and have provided well for all of them. You can hold your head up high.

After all this has passed, you will have a large sum of debt, but hopefully you will have some money left to pay most of it off.

I know it difficult for you just now but in a couple of months you you will start to see light at the end of your dark tunnel.

Hope you are managing to keep on top of all your housework, laundry etc :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: