Separated, how much should I provide?

thorsoak

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

I have actually read the whole thread and think his ex is being rather unkind, I am commenting on the fact he is making comments regarding his children ie. "She will go where the money is", I think this rather unkind and is Daughter would be most hurt by this!

Do you realise that his daughter is 20 years of age? Not exactly a child - this is a young woman who has chosen not to get a part time job but would rather depend on daddy!

moneysaymoneydo

Well if daddy has decided now his Daughter is 20 he no longer wants to provide for her then he should maybe tell her not a forum under the line "She goes where the money is", that's all I meant.

Could you imagine if you read that regardless of age/working etc that was my point.

CH27

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

Well if daddy has decided now his Daughter is 20 he no longer wants to provide for her then he should maybe tell her not a forum under the line "She goes where the money is", that's all I meant.

Could you imagine if you read that regardless of age/working etc that was my point.

Jack is getting a lot of much needed support from this thread. Please don't ruin it for him.

JackRS

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

Well if daddy has decided now his Daughter is 20 he no longer wants to provide for her then he should maybe tell her not a forum under the line "She goes where the money is", that's all I meant.

Could you imagine if you read that regardless of age/working etc that was my point.

Guys, please calm down.

What I wrote there was indeed unkind and unfair and I regret it, so I think you make a valid point. Things have been very complex and emotional for some time and what I've written on here has in some ways been my way of dealing with it as I have no one else who I want to talk to about it. My friends (bar one) have views that in the past have not helped. Of course I want to continue to support her as a friend and a father. I also want to prepare her for life and develop her life skills which means giving her independence (i.e. the driving lessons). This is why to do the course she was on she worked for 6 months to earn the money to pay for the train fair to get to college etc. Anyway the point is what I wrote earlier was wrong and reading it back I'm disappointed with myself letting my anger about my ex come out that way.

kelpie35

You have nothing to feel guilty about Jack.

We all need a rant from time to time.

The majority of people who have been following your thread do understand the pressures you have been under for some time and sometimes each and everyone of us says or does things that we regret later.

Do not allow this to stop you posting and venting how you feel.

You are a kind, thoughtful and caring individual and have shown that throughout this difficult time.

Hope you have settled into your new abode and will now find time to unwind.

Take care

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

You have nothing to feel guilty about Jack.

We all need a rant from time to time.

The majority of people who have been following your thread do understand the pressures you have been under for some time and sometimes each and everyone of us says or does things that we regret later.

Do not allow this to stop you posting and venting how you feel.

You are a kind, thoughtful and caring individual and have shown that throughout this difficult time.

Hope you have settled into your new abode and will now find time to unwind.

Take care

Took many hours getting sofa out and into new place last night, mate was with me from 5:30pm to 11pm but we got it in after having to remove several doors and frames what a nightmare, may have to leave it in the rental when i go! Anyway top mate helping me like that owe him so big!

Got a call at 6:45am this morning that the guys were there delivering washing machine so got round there in 10 minutes so that 's inside now, just need to connect it up. left there at 7:15 for work, so worked out well.

So I can sit down and wash clothes!

Bed is due for delivery today bit worried as I can't get there until 2pm so may miss it?

Anyway not living there yet but maybe over the weekend?

justme111

I see it as a strength when a parent acknowledges his/her children limitations and the truth in the face and does not live in a coo coo land where their kids are angels. We all know kids and people in general often try and see what they can get away with , lie because they are embarrased to admit to truth , try to play divorced oarwnts against each other trying to get maximum sweets and prefer to be with a parent who disciplines them less and treat them more. I hit no idea why anybody would be outraged by an admission of a parent to it. Pj , it sounded bitter - he was hurt by it. Nothing wrong with it either. Does not mean neither he nor his daughter are wrong , we all used to be self centered at 20 and those parents who had kids in this age all surely were hurt by their self centeredness , its just the way the cookie crumbles ...

summerof0763

we all need to vent from time to time, and at least doing it here your taking it out your system, and not taking it out on your daughter, so to be fair I would rather vent here,
hope you get settled in jack and take time out to recharge your batteries xx

JackRS

Sitting in new place broadband working, washing machine connected and running, had a cup of tea now time to put bed together!

RAS

JackRS wrote: »

Sitting in new place broadband working, washing machine connected and running, had a cup of tea now time to put bed together!

Whoopie - Jack has his own pad! Belated but worthwhile BDa pressie.

Hope all the screws are there (re the bed). Last thing I put together had 4 missing and involved an unplanned trip to town to get them.