Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

thorsoak wrote: »

Were you and your wife still together Jack, I would be telling you that you are dong your children a great deal of harm by keeping the bank of mum and dad open 24/7. As things are, you are still doing them a great deal of harm by financing them completely. They will never grow up/become independent until they know just how much it costs to live on their own.

I would be extremely surprised if a judge were to deem it reasonable that you should continue to support them.

Agree and they've had jobs in the past but seem to have lost the work ethic (not that they had it) probably due to the example set by their Mum?

justme111

thorsoak wrote: »

Were you and your wife still together Jack, I would be telling you that you are dong your children a great deal of harm by keeping the bank of mum and dad open 24/7. As things are, you are still doing them a great deal of harm by financing them completely. They will never grow up/become independent until they know just how much it costs to live on their own.

I would be extremely surprised if a judge were to deem it reasonable that you should continue to support them.

That one is hard to play ..
As on one hand he wants them to grow into responsible adults but on anither he risks being seen as abandoning them. It will not be the best if they see it that way and only 20 years down the line when they have their own kids reconsider their stance. As aim is not only to raise kids one could be.proud of but to have them on speaking , preferably good terms with one as well. Here is an example - if a kid of 7yo sleeps in mothers bed its wrong. Needs correcting. But if sending him to his room coincides with a guy moving into mums bed the child will probably forever have animosity towards the guy. One has to chose right moment.

justme111

Now , your ex not paying her bills and living on a bread line as she was complaining in her previous letter and this Xbox thingy for £ 50. Wow. Goes well together. May be your solicitor will find use for this info , I find it extremely telling.

JackRS

justme111 wrote: »

Now , your ex not paying her bills and living on a bread line as she was complaining in her previous letter and this Xbox thingy for £ 50. Wow. Goes well together. May be your solicitor will find use for this info , I find it extremely telling.

Yeah it's crazy, especially as I had a better no cost option. It relates to me taking the old 32'' TV (not HD) would have been far better to connect xbox to desk top PC screen as it's by the internet so can connect with cable and therefor be more reliable and faster speed etc. The thing is teh 'young adults' both have laptops and the ex has an ipad so it was mainly me that used the desktop PC. Anyway they will find out the hard way that there idea won't work well and has cost.

kelpie35

Happy Birthday Jack :beer:

Hope the move today goes as smoothly as possible.

Remember, in these difficult times, this is the start of your new life and you need to put your needs first just now :A

summerof0763

happy birthday, hope you get to enjoy it!! x

RAS

:bdaycake:

JackRS wrote: »

Get keys Thursday on my birthday,

:bdaycake:

Have a virtual beer on us :beer:

onetomany

happy birthday jack x

JackRS

You guys...you got me all emotional, it's like there's someone out there that cares. It means a lot thanks so much.

My Daughter gave me a card and a present when I was there last night to do some prep for collecting stuff tonight. Which is progress from being ignored on Fathers day.

RAS

JackRS wrote: »

My Daughter gave me a card and a present when I was there last night to do some prep for collecting stuff tonight. Which is progress from being ignored on Fathers day.

Good. Take it one step at a time and maybe invite her to thenew place to help you settle in?