Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

Did the examinee pass?

IF you have any spare money (and I know that this month you may well have nothing), I might send the successful driver some money, not least as this saves you money every month going forward).

No not passed yet. This month I'm stuffed as have to pay £1850 for deposit and rent in advance, also got £300 gas bill when I closed the account in my name and all the things related to setting up home from scratch so nothing spare.

RAS

JackRS wrote: »

Apparantly they've tried to get one but so much easier for all of them to sit on backsides working out how to get more out of me...

Although my Daughter did work 3 days on the bar at a festival recently.

This really really not going to go down well when it goes to court; how about doing a quick internet search for minimum wage temporary jobs locally, once a week, as evidence when the day comes.

That £2000 per month that could be going into the household (roughly based on 3 times 30 hours times minimum wage).

LannieDuck

Perhaps you should reply with:

This is just to let you know that I have paid for several things for kids recently, in case you wanted to contribute anything towards the cost.

Driving lessons £X
Rent £X
Electricity £X
Water £X
TV licence £X
Food £X

Total = £XXX

RAS

JackRS wrote: »

No not passed yet. This month I'm stuffed as have to pay £1850 for deposit and rent in advance, also got £300 gas bill when I closed the account in my name and all the things related to setting up home from scratch so nothing spare.

Maybe text adult child and explain that you are completely skint this month but that if they give you sufficient notice you will try to cover the next attempt. Also offer help learning theory?

1. Bypasses mother
2. Let's them understand that you are not paying cos you have no money.
3. Makes you seem eminently fair and reasonable

Or is this theory for him and practical for her?

JackRS

LannieDuck wrote: »

Perhaps you should reply with:

This is just to let you know that I have paid for several things for kids recently, in case you wanted to contribute anything towards the cost.

Driving lessons £X
Rent £X
Electricity £X
Water £X
TV licence £X
Food £X

Total = £XXX

Yeah had crossed my mind!

Ames

Hmm, I think the driving test one is tricky - it's the expected end cost of lessons. I'd have assumed that paying for lessons included the test. You can't afford it this month, which is fine, but maybe if you give something next month?

The other stuff, she's having a laugh. Pyjamas?!

And as for the xbox thing, why do they need that when they'll soon be getting jobs and wont have time to play on it much? (I know they wont be getting jobs soon, but they should be).

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

Maybe text adult child and explain that you are completely skint this month but that if they give you sufficient notice you will try to cover the next attempt. Also offer help learning theory?

1. Bypasses mother
2. Let's them understand that you are not paying cos you have no money.
3. Makes you seem eminently fair and reasonable

Or is this theory for him and practical for her?

it's theory for son, practical for daughter.

JackRS

Ames wrote: »

Hmm, I think the driving test one is tricky - it's the expected end cost of lessons. I'd have assumed that paying for lessons included the test. You can't afford it this month, which is fine, but maybe if you give something next month?

The other stuff, she's having a laugh. Pyjamas?!

And as for the xbox thing, why do they need that when they'll soon be getting jobs and wont have time to play on it much? (I know they wont be getting jobs soon, but they should be).

You'll love this, son has xbox in like a kids lounge on an old 32'' TV (decent panasonic). In the main lounge there's a newer 40'' Panasonic. I requested one of the TV's for my new place so was obviously offered the old 32'', so I suggested connecting xbox to desktop PC 20'' screen so he could contnue to use on that. That was rejected as it would mean desktop PC would be out of action when he's on it. So they are planning to do something else which I guess this refers to so clearly I won't pay as my solution was free and far more practical and reasonable.

RAS

JackRS wrote: »

it's theory for son, practical for daughter.

So if you text the offers to pay next time, you get them both in one go?

Think it could be worth it just to undermine mother's continual bad-mouthing.

Make sure you tell them you are skint like £3.62 in the bank as off today.

thorsoak

Were you and your wife still together Jack, I would be telling you that you are dong your children a great deal of harm by keeping the bank of mum and dad open 24/7. As things are, you are still doing them a great deal of harm by financing them completely. They will never grow up/become independent until they know just how much it costs to live on their own.

I would be extremely surprised if a judge were to deem it reasonable that you should continue to support them.