Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

I think the court hearing on 28 Oct is for financial settlement not interim order?

I did reply to her text saying 'on top of that you get a new car every 11 months, rent free 4 bed detached house, over 300 in Child tax credits etc you could get a further 800 on benifits or by working 30 hours a week on minimum wage, so no I don't expect you to manage on what I can provide but there's many who'd like to be as badly off then do something about the shortfall'

JackRS

Received a response from her solicitor after my previous solicitor responded to their demands with my schedule of outgoings. It was fairly long letter (3 sides of A4) but key points I've tried to summaries were:

1) They’d consider I can have rent £550 -£650 for a 2 bed property.
2) Wanted evidence of £133 minimum credit card payments.
3) Voluntary maintenance of £1000 leaving £2827 (actually £2,700) is unfair and inadequate for their client and children to be able to live.
4) They believe from her calculation of my outgoings that I have an excess of £2,555.
5) I have frozen joint account which has placed children and her in extremely difficult financial position whereby she’s unable to meet her outgoings.
6) Urge me to reconsider my stance, if not for her then at least for the sake of the two children.
7) They previously requested to increase maintenance from £1,000 to £2,694 which was rejected, in a final attempt to resolve proposal to £2,000, offer remain open for 10 days whereupon it will lapse and will not be capable of being accepted.
8) If not accepted then application to court for maintenance pending suit, costs to be covered by me. They estimate £3,000 to £4,000 plus my similar costs and then state it’s clearly costs which this family can ill afford and urge me to adopt a more conciliatory approach as they cannot manage on £1000 for the next 3 to 4 months.
9) Application to court to settle financial matters has been made.
10) They are ready to exchange Form Es
11) They enclosed her last credit card bill £1200 and asked me to pay it as she was not in a position to do so. I paid the last one and wrote that the next would be her responsibility as it was her costs.

Don’t forget they live rent free in a 4 bed detached house and have a new car all financed by me including insurance so only cost is fuel and she gets around £380 on child tax credits etc. You think she’d want to start to put some efforts into earning something!

Anyway clearly they think I’m being unreasonable and don’t care?

So over to my new solicitor to see how she deals with this?

kelpie35

I Hope your new solicitor is on the ball and you get the outcome you deserve.

Does her solicitor not realise that you do not have children but are the father of adults?

You have the patience of a saint. I know I could not have coped with what has been thrown at you. You have so much integrity, and that has to be admired.

Good luck and try to enjoy your weekend.

LannieDuck

JackRS wrote: »

Received a response from her solicitor after my previous solicitor responded to their demands with my schedule of outgoings. It was fairly long letter (3 sides of A4) but key points I've tried to summaries were:

1) They’d consider I can have rent £550 -£650 for a 2 bed property.
2) Wanted evidence of £133 minimum credit card payments.
3) Voluntary maintenance of £1000 leaving £2827 (actually £2,700) is unfair and inadequate for their client and children to be able to live.
4) They believe from her calculation of my outgoings that I have an excess of £2,555.
5) I have frozen joint account which has placed children and her in extremely difficult financial position whereby she’s unable to meet her outgoings.
6) Urge me to reconsider my stance, if not for her then at least for the sake of the two children.
7) They previously requested to increase maintenance from £1,000 to £2,694 which was rejected, in a final attempt to resolve proposal to £2,000, offer remain open for 10 days whereupon it will lapse and will not be capable of being accepted.
8) If not accepted then application to court for maintenance pending suit, costs to be covered by me. They estimate £3,000 to £4,000 plus my similar costs and then state it’s clearly costs which this family can ill afford and urge me to adopt a more conciliatory approach as they cannot manage on £1000 for the next 3 to 4 months.
9) Application to court to settle financial matters has been made.
10) They are ready to exchange Form Es
11) They enclosed her last credit card bill £1200 and asked me to pay it as she was not in a position to do so. I paid the last one and wrote that the next would be her responsibility as it was her costs.

Don’t forget they live rent free in a 4 bed detached house and have a new car all financed by me including insurance so only cost is fuel and she gets around £380 on child tax credits etc. You think she’d want to start to put some efforts into earning something!

Anyway clearly they think I’m being unreasonable and don’t care?

So over to my new solicitor to see how she deals with this?

This is a legal game now. She's simply not being reasonable (e.g. IIRC she had agreed to move the direct debits so that you could close the account... how is it therefore unreasonable that you closed the account?!). I can't believe that the level of settlement she's requesting is normal, esp when the children are nealy adults.

I think you're going to end up in court. I still don't understand why you have to pay both side's legal bills (if she doesn't have the money upfront, could they not be offset against her 'winnings'?).

Wait and see what your lawyer thinks about the letter.

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

I Hope your new solicitor is on the ball and you get the outcome you deserve.

Does her solicitor not realise that you do not have children but are the father of adults?

You have the patience of a saint. I know I could not have coped with what has been thrown at you. You have so much integrity, and that has to be admired.

Good luck and try to enjoy your weekend.

Thanks it's the support I get on here and from another close friend that is helping me.

RAS

Jack

Has she applied for Single Person's Council Tax discount (eligible even though DD is over 18 as long as DDs income was in education and might be eligible still on the basis of DDs low income) and Council TAx Benefit.

Does the £1000 include the car and the driving lessons?

RAS wrote: »

1. BT Group PLC, telephone landline = £27.42
2. CIS F & A Insurance, House and contents insurance = £40.18
3. British Gas, British Gas service plan = £19.59
4. Plus Net PLC, Home internet = £19.19
5. BRGAS, Gas = £72.00
6. BRGAS-Electricity, Electricity = £55.00
7. Anglian water, Water = £42.00
8. SOUTH, Council Tax = £183.00

TOTAL = £459.10

When does DDs course end?

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

Jack

Has she applied for Single Person's Council Tax discount (eligible even though DD is over 18 as long as DDs income was in education and might be eligible still on the basis of DDs low income) and Council TAx Benefit.

Does the £1000 include the car and the driving lessons?



When does DDs course end?

No don't think she's sorted council tax.

The car I provide is on top of £1000 and I also pay driving lessons (£240 for block of 10 hours per month) on top.

Daughters course ends July 2014.

JackRS

You have assured me that you would like our separation/divorce to be amicable, which as you know is also what I want.

Unfortunately it looks like this may not be possible unless you decide to increase the amount of voluntary maintenance you pay us in this interim period before final settlement.

My Solicitor is advising me in no uncertain terms that I should be letting him make a formal application to the court for MPS. He feels that you and your Solicitors are not communicating with him at all and have not responded to our last letter when we made a final attempt to resolve matters. We gave you 10 days to accept our offer which lapses tonight and have heard nothing from you. I have managed to hold him off until Monday morning but if you won’t even negotiate with us then the only real alternative is Court which neither of us can afford.

I just do not understand how you can expect the three of us to manage on only £1000 a month from you when the direct debits alone cost nearly £600. Yes we get child tax credit of £300 but we are struggling with a quarter of your monthly salary while you think it perfectly reasonable to keep three-quarters for yourself. I know you seem to think that I can claim benefits of up to £800 but I am not sure where you get that figure from and why should I have to claim during this transitional period when you were happy enough to support us before? Equally you think I should get a job to help with the shortfall. You don’t seem to take into account the pain and distress I have been suffering from, which has made me emotionally fragile to the point where I have been to see the doctor for help to cope and also had several counselling sessions. I am trying to get a job but in the current climate and with my age and experience against me it may take a while. I have actually been to an interview this morning for a part-time role but until I manage to get a job, we as a family need more financial help from you.

If you don’t want to help me then at least do it for your children. We are only talking temporarily until the final settlement can be agreed.

We are now in the position of having limited use of the home phone because the direct debit has been cancelled and the amount overdue. Whilst we were on the south coast this week trying to enrol in college for September, BT appear to have stopped all outgoing calls and messages. All calls are now diverted to BT but they will only speak with the account holder which is not me.

The TV License is also due on 1 August and they rang yesterday to see why the direct debit had been cancelled. They wanted me to agree to pay the full amount of £145.50 but as I have no guarantee of being able to afford this I had to refuse and they are now sending me a payment card to use instead.

I am sure similar instances will occur with the rest of the household bills and it all adds up to even more unnecessary stress and pressure for us.

I realise that you probably expected me to take on all of the direct debits in my name and from my account. However I wanted to agree a suitable figure for MPS first before transferring them so that I knew I would have the necessary funds to pay them AND enough money to live on. Unfortunately this hasn’t been the case so the overdue bills are mounting up and you have also stopped paying for my credit card with no notice, so I was only able to make the minimum payment this month.

I urge you to do the decent thing and at least consider giving up some extra money until we can reach a settlement figure. Do you really want to go to Court with costs of approximately £3,000-£4,000 plus VAT each? With the added risk of having to pay my costs too if we are successful? Would you rather pay that than give us an extra amount each month until things can be finalised?

I sincerely hope to hear back from you over the weekend otherwise I will have no choice but to instruct my Solicitor to take the appropriate action on Monday morning.

Angry_Bear

JackRS wrote: »

11) They enclosed her last credit card bill £1200 and asked me to pay it as she was not in a position to do so. I paid the last one and wrote that the next would be her responsibility as it was her costs.

Ignoring the other ridiculous points she/her solicitor has made, perhaps you should point her at the debt free wannabee section of the forum . She could learn all about how to meake ends meet and how to stop living outside her means!

More seriously, if she has a minimum credit card bill of £1200 then she will not be able to pay it long term given her lack of income. She should probably start looking into a DMP or even bankruptcy now.
On the other hand, if £1200 is the full amount, then she needs to stop spending on it, as she knows she has no way to pay it off!

Angry_Bear

JackRS wrote: »

I just do not understand how you can expect the three of us to manage on only £1000 a month from you when the direct debits alone cost nearly £600. Yes we get child tax credit of £300 but we are struggling....

Someone needs to point out to your ex that her expectations are ridiculous. She effectively has £700 spending money for her and the kids a month. That's plenty, especially as she refuses to even try to support herself.