Separated, how much should I provide?

justme111

I disagree with people who portray her as consciously trying to manipulate you. Her standarts of living dropped , she is panicking and trying to get money from wherever she can . A drowning person will grab on anything ,even his savior, even if it is counterproductiv and risk drowning him ad well. You faced drop in living standards a few months ago , you made reasonable conclusion you better try and keep the money to yourself. She faces it now , she tries to get the money back. If I were you I would have tried conscious effort not to get irrated or hurt with her and behaved as we do with a child that throuws a tantrum.

justme111

kelpie35 wrote: »

Have to disagree with this.

I think the OP has been hurt by his ex's actions and demands.

That's precisely why. If he was hurt it does notean he better try and hurt her back , this war leads to money and years of life wasted and bitterness left after. Never is a good idea to try and hurt mother of your children , it will backfire specially keeping in mind she lives with his kids.
What harm replying as I suggested would do ? Risk him being drawn into an argument ? That's why he would better be a responsible adult and not start arguing. No need to hurt and alineate her even further , if she is not hurt and angry they will have better chances of agreeing it out of the court.

kelpie35

justme111 wrote: »

I disagree with people who portray her as consciously trying to manipulate you. Her standarts of living dropped , she is panicking and trying to get money from wherever she can . A drowning person will grab on anything ,even his savior, even if it is counterproductiv and risk drowning him ad well. You faced drop in living standards a few months ago , you made reasonable conclusion you better try and keep the money to yourself. She faces it now , she tries to get the money back. If I were you I would have tried conscious effort not to get irrated or hurt with her and behaved as we do with a child that throuws a tantrum.

I have to ask you, justme111, Have you read the whole thread?

My opinion of the OP is that he has been very generous to his ex and has to be admired for his dignity and integrity with this whole episode in his life.

justme111

kelpie35 wrote: »

I have to ask you, justme111, Have you read the whole thread?

My opinion of the OP is that he has been very generous to his ex and has to be admired for his dignity and integrity with this whole episode in his life.

Yes I had.
Yes he was.
But how do you conclude from it that he should not reply to her now or that she is an evil witch defies my logic.
If we all talked only.to people that never hurt us we would lost our gift of speach to to not using it

Mojisola

Just because someone has sent you an email (or a letter or left a phone message), there's no obligation to respond immediately.

LannieDuck

I would send a simple, polite reply saying that my solicitor is on holiday until Tues, and you'll respond promptly upon their return.

justme111

Agree with lannie

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

Just thought about this.............

If you have an email address for your solicitor you could forward the email you got from your ex. It would then give your solicitor time to digest it before you phone them.

Have actually forwarded all emails to solicitor.

Anyway change my mind about replying and wrote back just now to try to stop any further hassle this weekend, wrote as follows:

Please see attached the reply letter to your solicitor dated 4th July (same day the letter was received) that shows that your solicitor has been informed that mine is on annual leave until 16th July.
I appreciate this is a difficult and stressful time for everyone involved, as you are aware I still have my problems with sleeping and anxiety. I find the content of your email very unreasonable, intimidating and distressing. I’m sure that you will agree that it’s reasonable for me to wait for legal advice when my solicitor is available. In the meantime should the (childrens names removed) need anything, please reassure them that they can contact me at any time on my mobile. Is there anything (name removed) needs for her test next week or did my 10 hour block payment to the driving instructor cover it?

kelpie35

JackRS wrote: »

Have actually forwarded all emails to solicitor.

Anyway change my mind about replying and wrote back just now to try to stop any further hassle this weekend, wrote as follows:

Please see attached the reply letter to your solicitor dated 4th July (same day the letter was received) that shows that your solicitor has been informed that mine is on annual leave until 16th July.
I appreciate this is a difficult and stressful time for everyone involved, as you are aware I still have my problems with sleeping and anxiety. I find the content of your email very unreasonable, intimidating and distressing. I’m sure that you will agree that it’s reasonable for me to wait for legal advice when my solicitor is available. In the meantime should the (childrens names removed) need anything, please reassure them that they can contact me at any time on my mobile. Is there anything (name removed) needs for her test next week or did my 10 hour block payment to the driving instructor cover it?

You have done what you feel is right for you :A

I sincerely hope you can now enjoy the rest of your weekend.

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

You have done what you feel is right for you :A

I sincerely hope you can now enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Me too off to rented now to measure rooms see what I can fit in and what I need.