Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

onetomany wrote: »

im gonna sound harsh but it takes two to have kids and two to make a marraige work and two to provide even if it means bitting the bullet and claiming benifits untill you find work

Yep but it's so much easier to sit and get a someone else to pay!

onetomany

JackRS wrote: »

Yep but it's so much easier to sit and get a someone else to pay!

totally agree but there nothing saying you have to stay on benifits job center will help u get work with cvs and training etc

JackRS

Just spoken to my new solicitor from Brethertons who believes reviewing my case that £1000 a month is reasonable maintenance for now and I should stick to it. If they want to claim more then let them. This solicitor specialises in these cases and has dealt with over 200 where the spouse was not earning so hopefully I've got someone stronger and more of the right experience?

I taking my daughter for her birthday meal tonight see what I can do to repair that.

RAS

JackRS wrote: »

I taking my daughter for her birthday meal tonight see what I can do to repair that.

I hope you have a lovely time. You may need to balance the generousity with the caution; nothing used to set my mother off more than her ex spending large amounts on treats when she wanted money to pay for essentials.

Not that the costings are similar (he earned about £10K before tax and paid £100 per year in total).

kelpie35

Good to hear you are getting the right support now.

Hope your evening with DD goes well and you are able to build bridges.

RAS

JackRS

Did the solicitor clarify the legal situation regarding your daughter and her mother claiming maintenance when she finishes the course?

I am just mindful that your daughter may be getting into a situation where neither parent is legally responsible for her upkeep (your wife cannot claim benefits for her and you not required to pay maintenance to your wife).

So it may be worth asking her what she plans to do next and to steer her towards earning?

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

Good to hear you are getting the right support now.

Hope your evening with DD goes well and you are able to build bridges.

Yes went well she told me what she's been up to and we didn't discuss about what was happening with her mum and I so good to catch up and start to build.

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

JackRS

Did the solicitor clarify the legal situation regarding your daughter and her mother claiming maintenance when she finishes the course?

I am just mindful that your daughter may be getting into a situation where neither parent is legally responsible for her upkeep (your wife cannot claim benefits for her and you not required to pay maintenance to your wife).

So it may be worth asking her what she plans to do next and to steer her towards earning?

Didn't get into that detail with new solictor just yet, her approach would be to apply for financial thing can't remember terms and words but basically means we should drive it to move financial seperation etc...

RAS

JackRS

Glad you had a good evening with your daughter; possibly wisest on both parts to keep your relationship with each other free from the issues with your ex.

Can I make a comment and hope that it is OK? Do not want an answer. If you wish, I will take it down later.

What kinda frightens me about your situation as an individual and a family is that apart from the equity in the house, you appear to have no savings at all?

Now my income is a lot lower and I do not have dependents but on the other hand one income and one person has to do all the work supporting a home that one might expect from a couple. There is no one else to paint the front door or cut the lawn whilst I make supper or to ring round for insurance quotes whilst I do the shopping.

Despite the inefficiencies of my lifestyle I have extra income each month; this has wracked up over the years (particularly since the mortgage was paid off) and I have something in the region of 2.5x annual salary in savings. 20 percent is ear-marked for a project and the rest will be the capital for the next step (current job is in a contracting market).

It was always my intention to have at least 6 months as a buffer in case SHTF in any way.

I suspect you have various insurances but what plans did you and ex have to survive financially if say you were injured in a car crash and then unable to work? It appears to me that the edifice could come tumbling down at the any time.

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

JackRS

Glad you had a good evening with your daughter; possibly wisest on both parts to keep your relationship with each other free from the issues with your ex.

Can I make a comment and hope that it is OK? Do not want an answer. If you wish, I will take it down later.

What kinda frightens me about your situation as an individual and a family is that apart from the equity in the house, you appear to have no savings at all?

Now my income is a lot lower and I do not have dependents but on the other hand one income and one person has to do all the work supporting a home that one might expect from a couple. There is no one else to paint the front door or cut the lawn whilst I make supper or to ring round for insurance quotes whilst I do the shopping.

Despite the inefficiencies of my lifestyle I have extra income each month; this has wracked up over the years (particularly since the mortgage was paid off) and I have something in the region of 2.5x annual salary in savings. 20 percent is ear-marked for a project and the rest will be the capital for the next step (current job is in a contracting market).

It was always my intention to have at least 6 months as a buffer in case SHTF in any way.

I suspect you have various insurances but what plans did you and ex have to survive financially if say you were injured in a car crash and then unable to work? It appears to me that the edifice could come tumbling down at the any time.

No have nothing just the credit card debt, focused on clearing the mortgage asap in 2011 then money went into holidays (they went to San Francisco in April for 10 days, I didn’t) as our priority, no drinking, no smoking, no sky, no smart phones, I haven't bought any new clothes since what I got at Christmas so it's not an extravagant lifestyle.