Separated, how much should I provide?

duchy

I think there's a lot of people in these situations.

I made a verbal agreement with my ex that as long as he supported our (disabled) son through til he had finished university I wouldn't seek spousal support. (Before our son was born I was the higher earner -my career went down the pan as our son needed more support than a non disabled child-and ex's career rocketed -due in no small part to me encouraging him ) Son is now in first year of uni - not only has he reneged on support but has also cut all contact with our son -ignores all his attempts to contact him -which is causing him incredible distress. I struggle financially-have for years with needing to be available to support our son (I work but I'm limited by where I can travel to -and my original career skills are way out of date now). However it appears although he started divorce proceedings several years ago -they were never finalized -I let him get on with it as 1 I trusted him to support our son at CSA level and keep the HE support agreement and 2 I couldn't afford a solicitor and 3 I felt their relationship was too important to rock over money. So the door apparently is open to go to court even though our son is 21 .

duchy

Thumper7 wrote: »

Unfortunately I do not qualify for benefits, I don't have children so I am at his whim. even if I could qualify I would lose my home which I had before we met but I could not afford to keep on unless I find a fulltime job earning at least £20K. And that is going to be difficult as I have been out the workplace for 7 years.

Thumper

If you are not working and are living alone -you should qualify for some benefits-certainly income based JSA (which would then trigger others like council tax benefit) as you are actively seeking work. Rules are different in some cases for forces wives and you need to contact the forces welfare organization for advice (sorry I forget what it is called)

Also if claiming JSA you'd be entitled to free training courses - to update your skills or learn new ones to help you find the job you need.


Sorry Jack - back to your issues

JackRS

Floxxie wrote: »

I am glad that you have sought alternative advice Jack. I too have used Brethertons but I would recommend that you try out wikivorce first to get an idea of what to expect.

As for an alternative...I was left by my husband with 3 very young children. I lost my job. I want a fair settlement but I do not want to control the husband that controlled me...I am happy to move on. I could go on about what he did to us as a family but the end result is that fault is not normally part of a financial settlement so put your emotions aside and learn what the law can and can't do and what you are likely to get out of the whole process.

Thumper 7 - take legal advice - it does not matter that you do not have children...you were married and that counts.

Thanks, when you say try wikidivorce to get an idea do you mean use their calculation tools etc?

JackRS

I completed the wikvorce calculator using house and pension value and got the following result. I put in 2 children in the calculator but it doesn't ask for their age so not sure if they should have been included ?

Liabilities:
Joint liabilities:none
Wife's liabilities:none
Husband's liabilities:
- Credit card valued at £-10000 (debt at marriage : £0)

Total : £-10000 (Total debts at marriage : £0)
The net joint assets are worth : 541000
The net wife's assets are worth : 0
The net husband's assets are worth : 0

Splitting the assets:
Next we share out the net joint assets based on factors such as:
length of marriage, relative incomes, who cares for any children.

Wife's share: 80%
Husband's share: 20%

Wife's total share of net assets is : £432800
Husband's total share of net assets is : £108200


The Wikivorce estimate for ancillary relief based on the above parameters:

Maintenance calculation based on outgoings data:

The wife has been allocated the following:
- basic (incl childcare) needs £1720
- lifestyle needs £72
A total budget allocated of £1792

The husband has been allocated the following:
- basic (incl childcare) needs £2020
- lifestyle needs £257
A total budget allocated of £2277

The husband should pay the wife maintenance of £1423

Maintenance calculation based on household/childcare data:

The wife has been allocated the following:
- basic (incl childcare) needs £1017
- shared contribution £814
- share of excess income £203
A total budget allocated of £2034

The husband has been allocated the following:
- basic (incl childcare) needs £610
- shared contribution £814
- share of excess income £610
A total budget allocated of £2034

The husband should pay the wife maintenance of £1666

Ames

Your 'children' are adults, I'd do the calculation again without them - you can always give them extra. Otherwise where does it stop and when do they have an incentive to become self sufficient? Are you still going to feel like you have to provide a home for them at 20? 25? 30?

Although it is good that the figures are coming out a lot closer to what you were originally offering rather than her demands.

I hope you find a place you like when you look at flats today.

RAS

JackRS

You need to do this on two bases:

1. One child only (as your daughter is not in university or similar education and is over 18 years old). That is the current situation.

2. No children (which will indicate what she would get when your son is over 18 and finished his business course).

JackRS

Ames wrote: »

Your 'children' are adults, I'd do the calculation again without them - you can always give them extra. Otherwise where does it stop and when do they have an incentive to become self sufficient? Are you still going to feel like you have to provide a home for them at 20? 25? 30?

Although it is good that the figures are coming out a lot closer to what you were originally offering rather than her demands.

I hope you find a place you like when you look at flats today.

Just trying to work out what a possible outcome would be for settlement, so think they will still consider 17 year old as in FTE.
Looked at 4 places this weekend have another to see lunchtime, and one tomorrow night.
Arrange to see my daughter this week, she's 20 today!

So if I put 0 in for children it's as follows:

Maintenance calculation based on outgoings data:

The wife has been allocated the following:
- basic (incl childcare) needs £1520
- lifestyle needs £116
A total budget allocated of £1636

The husband has been allocated the following:
- basic (incl childcare) needs £2020
- lifestyle needs £413
A total budget allocated of £2433

The husband should pay the wife maintenance of £1267

Maintenance calculation based on household/childcare data:

The wife has been allocated the following:
- basic (incl childcare) needs £814
- shared contribution £814
- share of excess income £203
A total budget allocated of £1831

The husband has been allocated the following:
- basic (incl childcare) needs £814
- shared contribution £814
- share of excess income £610
A total budget allocated of £2238

The husband should pay the wife maintenance of £1462

RAS

JackRS

What none of us can see are the assumptions behind this; your wife has been in a position to seek greater employment for the last 5 years and has actually reduced her activities rather then increased them, so I think you need to talk to the lawyer first.

thorsoak

Why do you include "childcare" when your two children are 18 and 20 years of age? In law they are adults!

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

JackRS

What none of us can see are the assumptions behind this; your wife has been in a position to seek greater employment for the last 5 years and has actually reduced her activities rather then increased them, so I think you need to talk to the lawyer first.

The assumption is using current situation so she only has tax credit and child allowance which makes her income 369pcm Yes hope to talk to new lawyers soon.