Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

the other thing Jack that I have been meaning to ask for a while.

Obviously you moved out of the family home because you wanted to end your relationship with your wife.

And you have had to live in basic accomodation since.

However, why is it that you expect your son and daughter to move with your wife?

Have you ever told either of them that you would be prepared to accomodate them if they want to remain locally?

Do they understand that you have ended your relationship with your wife, but that the reason you have not asked them to live with you is that you have nowhere to accomodate them at present?

Or do they understand that you have not abandoned them?

How much of the lack of contact between you and them is their doing and how much is mum pressuring them?

Is there any reason other than lack of space why they could not live with you?

They want to stay with their mum. I have proposed for them to stay with me and will continue to offer that. I hope to be in own place next month.

kelpie35

Just popped in to wish you well with your new solicitor's meeting today.

Remember they are working for YOU and what is best for you, both mentally and financially.

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

Just popped in to wish you well with your new solicitor's meeting today.

Remember they are working for YOU and what is best for you, both mentally and financially.

Thanks, they should be for what we pay them.

JackRS

Just got off the phone to wikivorce spoke to Carl who was very helpful. Have canceled appointment with solicitor this afternoon as I now know I need a specialist. Carl is putting my details through to Brethertons to contact me.

LannieDuck

That sounds very positive.

RAS

JackRS wrote: »

Just got off the phone to wikivorce spoke to Carl who was very helpful. Have canceled appointment with solicitor this afternoon as I now know I need a specialist. Carl is putting my details through to Berephertons to contact me.

Sounds like someone has found you a rottweiler? Or maybe just someone with teeth?

Why do solicitors take on cases that they do not really have the knowledge base or experience to fully support?

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

Sounds like someone has found you a rottweiler? Or maybe just someone with teeth?

Why do solicitors take on cases that they do not really have the knowledge base or experience to fully support?

Well that's one I can easily answer...it's easy money especially as first time saps like me have no knowledge or experience so will think the solicitor knows what they are doing.

What Carl highlighted to me which was why I was feeling unconfortable with current set up was that high street solicitors aren't really equiped to deal with a case like mine generally. However they may be if they have the experience etc but generally not. So he pointed out the key things I needed to consider when selecting a solicitor, they need to be:

LEXCEL
Signed revolution agreement
Ranked in legal 500
Ancillary relief lawyers
Specialise in financial division of divorce

He said it tends to be the larger firms that have people who deal with theses sorts of cases regularly and also have access to others in the firm for support etc. Obviously you may find a specialist with that experience in a high street small firm but not so likely. So he identified a number of key questions to ask when selecting a solicitor but said he could pass my case on to a company that had specialist that meet the criteria. He’s writing a brief summary of my case and passing on to Brethertons and expects me to be contacted Monday.

He thought that my solicitors approach should have been to request my ex to have a ‘benefits check’ and then establish reasonable needs. I guess wikivorce must be funded by referral fee but he spoke to me for 50 minutes didn’t try to rush me was really good and understood my concerns. He said that Brethertons will talk for around 20 minutes without initial charge. Obviously they'll make their money later so I know it's not free.

So thanks again Floxxie for the wiki tip just wished I contacted them sooner although I wouldn’t have known what my problem was a few weeks back.

kelpie35

JackRS wrote: »

Well that's one I can easily answer...it's easy money especially as first time saps like me have no knowledge or experience so will think the solicitor knows what they are doing.

What Carl highlighted to me which was why I was feeling unconfortable with current set up was that high street solicitors aren't really equiped to deal with a case like mine generally. However they may be if they have the experience etc but generally not. So he pointed out the key things I needed to consider when selecting a solicitor, they need to be:

LEXCEL
Signed revolution agreement
Ranked in legal 500
Ancillary relief lawyers
Specialise in financial division of divorce

He said it tends to be the larger firms that have people who deal with theses sorts of cases regularly and also have access to others in the firm for support etc. Obviously you may find a specialist with that experience in a high street small firm but not so likely. So he identified a number of key questions to ask when selecting a solicitor but said he could pass my case on to a company that had specialist that meet the criteria. He’s writing a brief summary of my case and passing on to Berephertons and expects me to be contacted Monday.

He thought that my solicitors approach should have been to request my ex to have a ‘benefits check’ and then establish reasonable needs. I guess wikivorce must be funded by referral fee but he spoke to me for 50 minutes didn’t try to rush me was really good and understood my concerns. He said that Berephertons will talk for around 20 minutes without initial charge. Obviously they'll make their money later so I know it's not free.

So thanks again Floxxie for the wiki tip just wished I contacted them sooner although I wouldn’t have known what my problem was a few weeks back.

So pleased for you that you are now getting the right sort of information. :j

I hope you are able to enjoy your weekend back in your own home, even though you have been given chores to do.

RAS

JackRS

I really hope that this makes a difference. I had assumed originally that you had a specialist, but last week I wondered if your wife's solicitor knew how lacking your solicitor was and thought they could just string you along and you would not fight back.

I suspect that once they start getting comms from a firm with a high reputation they might get a bit more sensible.

You might want to ask if it is more prudent to get as close as posisble to the date when the youngest ceases to be eligible for statuatory support.

If neither are going to university, then support beyond that age would usually be direct with the off-spring. I think the reason for the potential for support up to 25 was that it allows those who would have done a first degree, Master's and research degree if their parents stayed married to be supported throughout their education. Certainly the judge in my parent's case intended that maintenance should be paid for those of us studying beyond A Levels. However, my mother preferred to utilise some serious errors in his financial declaration to halt all further legal action on his side.

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

So pleased for you that you are now getting the right sort of information. :j

I hope you are able to enjoy your weekend back in your own home, even though you have been given chores to do.

Thanks
I won't be doing any chores she's mentioned, I may not even bother with any chores?