Separated, how much should I provide?

kelpie35

JackRS wrote: »

You'll love this, got a text from the ex saying they were away this weekend so I was welcome to pop over and cut the hedges etc. Classic especially as on her list of outgoings she's got £26/month on gardening?

Keep all texts and emails.

Would you be comfortable staying in your old home while they are away?

It would give you a break from the conditions you have been living under and you might be able to collect some things that are of value to you.

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

I feel a bit happier in your response :T

Has she given you a new account of next month's allowance to go into? If not, DO NOT ask for it.

If the rents for your area are around £800 then you have every right to put that down.

Has there been any movement on the sale of YOUR home?

She's always had her own bank account so I know where to transfer just not how much yet. 2 bed not so nice place is £700-£800, I put £795. No offer on the house and she will stay until sold, so....

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

Keep all texts and emails.

Would you be comfortable staying in your old home while they are away?

It would give you a break from the conditions you have been living under and you might be able to collect some things that are of value to you.

It would be OK, got mixed feelings as want to take care of some maintenance and nice to be able to use a garden etc not sure what I'll do but it will be what ever I want to do!

duchy

JackRS wrote: »

You'll love this, got a text from the ex saying they were away this weekend so I was welcome to pop over and cut the hedges etc. Classic especially as on her list of outgoings she's got £26/month on gardening?

:rotfl:


Oh well at least you can get some stuff out of the house

JackRS

My solicitors reply to hers is the following regarding her list of outgoings and request to pay all fees:

In relation to your clients Schedule of Outgoings, we believe this to be excessive for the purposes of a Maintenance Pending Suit application. By way of example:

1. Clothes - £100.00;
2. Hairdresser - £40.00;
3. Entertainment - £200.00;
4. Holiday - £250.00;
5. Stationary and books - £40.00;
6. Children’s clothes/shoes - £160.00.

With regards to the divorce costs, our client is agreeable to paying half the costs only. Our fees will also need to be taken into account.

Our fees: £300.00 inc VAT
Your fees: £780.00 inc VAT
Court fees: £340.00

Total £1480.00
Divided by 2: £740.00
Minus £300.00 our client is already paying: £440.00

Our client will therefore provide £440.00 to your client towards the divorce. Our client will be reflecting the same within his Acknowledgement of Service.

kelpie35

JackRS wrote: »

She's always had her own bank account so I know where to transfer just not how much yet. 2 bed not so nice place is £700-£800, I put £795. No offer on the house and she will stay until sold, so....

Personally I would give her less than last month, but I am not living in your shoe (thank God)

If you total up how much you think it costs for food, utilities etc to live in your home, I would use that amount.

I would also not pay any money on the 1st day of the month but leave it till you maybe get a text reminding you. Then tell her you are having financial problems and will transfer the money in in the next few days when you have money available.

Also set up a new bank account that no ones knows about and squirrel away as much as you can. If that is impossible take cash from your account and keep it someplace safe that no one knows about. If asked where the money has gone say you decided you needed a treat :rotfl:

JackRS

item


£

House Rent

795

Council Tax

100

Water Rates

30

Electricity

40

Gas

50

Telephone

20

Internet service

20

buildings/contents insurance

20

TV licence

12

Clothes

100

Mobile phone

15

Opticians/glasses/contact lens

30

Dentist

20

Hair cut

12

Car fuel

320

Entertainment/hobbies

200

Holidays

200

Food & Drinks while at work

100

Household products & Food

393

Childrens driving lessons

240

Childrens allowance

100

minimum credit card payment

133

Credit card payment £9K

1200

legal fees

230

presents and gifts

50

4430

duchy

Holidays should have a seperate amount for taking the kids away ......maybe.

No professional subscriptions ?
No gym membership?
Prescriptions ?

lady1964

Hi Jack,

I haven't got any advice to offer really as I've never been in your situation and hope to hell that I never am. It sounds like you're going through a really terrible time and I really feel for you.

I'm appalled that your wife is expecting you to support her and her seemingly apparent refusal to find work. I can, to an extent, understand her bitterness without knowing the reasons for your break-up, however as a woman, I cannot fathom how she expects you to fund her, especially given your kids are grown up and she is able to work.

I know it's not easy to find work, I didn't work for 14 years while my 3 dd's were growing up but I got back to a totally different type of work through volunteering and have worked ever since (apart from a year out fairly recently due to circumstances beyond my control). When I had to get a job last year, I got one within a month.

She can re-train or volunteer to have something to add to her CV.

I absolutely applaud you for wanting to still provide for your adult children, what a great dad you must be and I'm sure your kids will realise that in time - hopefully sooner rather than later.

Stay strong & determined, take all the excellent advice that you've been given and please keep updating with what's happening.

Sorry to say this but women like your (ex) wife are giving those of us who have pride in our ability to work/support ourselves a bad name!

JackRS

duchy wrote: »

Holidays should have a seperate amount for taking the kids away ......maybe.

No professional subscriptions ?
No gym membership?
Prescriptions ?

Had to cancel Tennis club and windsurfing club membership part of my cost cutting. Other things like gym and sports in hobbies amount. Dropped professional subscriptions years back.