Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

harrys_nan wrote: »

I fail to see, why you are still having to give her SM. Is she old or unable to work ( I know she just doesn't want to) I thought SM went by the wayside years ago. I appreciate she lived a certain lifestyle with you but come on, how much longer are you going to be tied to her?
I understand perhaps she has to have a certain amount of help to start a fresh, but nothing is stopping her from working and claiming if she won't/can't work full time, so why are you having to support her for x amount of years, if it was 12 months or so I could.
Can't understand some women at all.

The SM is assuming she does have a full time job and take home £800/m. The judge indicated that it is not so easy to live on minimum wage and so the difference in our income should be reduced, hence her view that SM would be required.

barbiedoll

I should think that living on £800/month is much easier when you don't have a mortgage or rent to pay, and especially if you get a free car thrown in!

19lottie82

JackRS wrote: »

The SM is assuming she does have a full time job and take home £800/m. The judge indicated that it is not so easy to live on minimum wage and so the difference in our income should be reduced, hence her view that SM would be required.

NMW over a 35 hour week is £927.63 a month....... not £800. AND she would be entitled to tax credits. Surely your lawyer should have pointed this out?

And I imagine it would be a lot easier to live on NMW when you have no (or a minimal) mortgage to pay.

edit cross post with barbiedoll!

mellymoo74

Plus she's unlikely to be on NEW isn't she a legal sec?

justme111

harrys_nan wrote: »

I fail to see, why you are still having to give her SM. Is she old or unable to work ( I know she just doesn't want to) I thought SM went by the wayside years ago. I appreciate she lived a certain lifestyle with you but come on, how much longer are you going to be tied to her?
I understand perhaps she has to have a certain amount of help to start a fresh, but nothing is stopping her from working and claiming if she won't/can't work full time, so why are you having to support her for x amount of years, if it was 12 months or so I could.
Can't understand some women at all.

It is not only "some women " who think they are entitiled to maintenance. Apparently many judges and barristers think so as well. And that's what matters. I personally agree with you but we are in disagreement with the law it appears and there is no point in wallowing "or why or why". If jacks own barrister think he is due maintenance,...
lets hope that the judge dealing with it on a day will see it the way we see it and not get too upset if he does not ..

justme111

Ps. I would stress that it is her choice to put all the money she gets into property , she could get 3 bed house (another issue is whether she needs it or could be expected to settle with 1/2 bed ) in many areas of the country for about £100 000 less.

enthusiasticsaver

Presumably Jack you cannot access any of your house sale proceeds until this is all sorted? Are you getting quotes and ideas of how much it will cost you to find a property to live in? There is a lot of talk about your ex and what she will need but you also need a roof over your head.


I know you are renting at the moment. Do you intend to carry on or are you looking to buy?

rpc

JackRS wrote: »

In the negotiations one option she suggested was for capital now she would go without the car, she wanted £220k with no car and 4 years SM at £650/m in response to my final offer of £210k and 3 years SM at £650/m and car for 3 years.

Looking at that, you are only about 10k apart overall in negotiations. 251,200 for her offer and 240,060 for yours.

I think your offers are generous, but it seems bonkers to force a final hearing that probably costs more than the difference in positions.

I'm not suggesting that you give even more, just that from the outside it seems nuts that this can't be resolved now. But then I have been following the thread since early days and realise that it's par for this particular course.

As much as I don't like the idea of giving her what she wants here, if she doesn't accept your offer after 14 days is it worth considering hers? 10k in cash now with less money for longer. But no stress of a final hearing, no more solicitors bills and, except for a standing order once a month, you can put this mess behind you.

JackRS

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Plus she's unlikely to be on NEW isn't she a legal sec?

In the review my barrister pointed out to the judge that she was an intelligent lady who was more than capable of securing a full time admin role (her secretary experience is not legal profession but business industry) where a salary of between £18k and £20k was achievable. The judge pointed out if it went to final trial more realistic and factual salary expectation would be required before a judge could decide on the appropriate amount for SM.

JackRS

justme111 wrote: »

Ps. I would stress that it is her choice to put all the money she gets into property , she could get 3 bed house (another issue is whether she needs it or could be expected to settle with 1/2 bed ) in many areas of the country for about £100 000 less.

Yes this is in line with the judges direction that maybe a 2 bedroom apartment would be appropriate. So the judges indication was that her needs were less expensive than her wants and that both of our property requirements were similar. As I've said before the judge seemed to give direction that she should have less than her request for cash but have pension share and long term maintenance.

However ex clearly is prioritising cash now so I'm looking at the opportunity for a clean break and to avoid final hearing as this will cost and if Thursdays judge was hearing ( it wouldn't be) she wouldn't order a clean break.