Separated, how much should I provide?

Mojisola

kelpie35 wrote: »

After you have paid off all the debt this nightmare has caused you, you are not going to be left with enough to fund a simple lifestyle.

This is what I don't understand. Everything seems to be aimed at keeping your ex's standard of living up to a set level. What about yours?

justme111

Mojisola wrote: »

This is what I don't understand. Everything seems to be aimed at keeping your ex's standard of living up to a set level. What about yours?

Why , they share his income between them two , not give it all to an ex.
I see , talking to her is not on the cards. Oh well.
Would resolutely disagree with trying to get "support" from the daughter on this topic by the way.

Marisco

justme111 wrote: »

Why , they share his income between them two , not give it all to an ex.
I see , talking to her is not on the cards. Oh well.
Would resolutely disagree with trying to get "support" from the daughter on this topic by the way.

He shouldn't have to share it at all. Once he is divorced, and the house is divvied up, that should be it, everyone goes their separate ways, and earns their own living. One shouldn't be a parasite on the other!

kelpie35

justme111 wrote: »

Why , they share his income between them two , not give it all to an ex.
I see , talking to her is not on the cards. Oh well.
Would resolutely disagree with trying to get "support" from the daughter on this topic by the way.

I didn't say jack should receive support from his daughter, I only asked if he had discussed any of this with her.

I was only thinking of Jack and all the pressure he is under, and has been for the last two years, hoping that family members were supporting him through this.

Wol2

Spousal maintenance should cover "all living costs" - yet despite agreeing to cover an (albeit negotiable) monthly sum for SM, for (an albeit negotiable) number of years ......you are also being asked to contribute an additional £185pcm for a car....:eek:

I honestly don;t think your barrister or the judge has twigged this "duplication of demand" yet..

Thanks for answering my question about monthly car payments - it's late now so I will PM my suggestion to you you tomorrow
xxx

ampersand

spender, do you mean 'penury'? I'm concerned by mention of 'perjury', but agree with your 1st sentence totally.

duchy

This insistence on "needing" a car.........and a brand new one at that when she has no children to take to school or even any job to get to strikes me as somewhat ridiculous. She's hardly living in an isolated area or has some other extraordinary need.

trix-a-belle

Just a point while its in my mind Jack, if a car is in the final offer do I recall correctly her 'forgetting' about servicing intervals on this last one which causes penalties? There should be something in there to say this is all her responsibility to ensure agreement limits are adhered to and servicing undertaken at correct times & any penalties are payable by her (I realise its all you in the end if she gets sm but you should be paying extra for her incompetence when you are no longer married)
Tbh if the car is included that cost should be removed from the sm or other monies imo.

But equally I'm another who feels she doesn't need a brand new car if she really does a Dacia sandero (5 doors, no options, diesel engine that does 70+mpg, with 36k service pack) is a chunk less than 10k & she can pay for her own insurance (not sure what the current arrangement is), doing the sums I realise its a little more but maybe by way of making sure she doesn't come back whining at the end of the agreed period a bought outright car is worth it but for that no choices its the basic no frills car.

harrys_nan

I have just read through most of your thread and cannot believe the stress your ex has put you through. I have been married twice and never have I had sm, not that I would have wanted it, I prefer to stand on my own 2 feet.
I wish you all the best for your future and hope this nightmare is over soon.
Can't give you any advice, but you have had loads of good advice from here, I just wanted you to know that I am another one thinking of you.

Lets_say

Jack, given that she said 'She felt under pressure so wanted time to consider'
shows that she is actually considering it, rather than just an immediate rejection.

If you now put the original offer in writing, which was rejected, you will, I fear, just make her angry and more determined to get more.

I note the judge made comment on her pension. When your barrister summed up your case, was he able to point out that the ex, in choosing to give up her job, had reduced the potential marital 'pot', and more importantly her own pension pot?

Keeping fingers crossed that she will see sense.