Separated, how much should I provide?

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

And how old is that case???????????

Your children are not children any more; the eldest is 20 (all but) and your wife can no longer cliam Child Benefit. Your younger "child" will shortly be 18 but will be in FTE for 2 more years.

I believe that consent orders are actually only valid for a year anyway, so this man could open a CSA case tomorrow and pay 20% of his net income; try a pm to pigpen as she has experience from the other side.

I thought about asking my solicitor but as I get charged £20 for every email reply I'll wait. OK I'll try PM pigpen is that their full username?

RAS

JackRS wrote: »

I thought about asking my solicitor but as I get charged £20 for every email reply I'll wait. OK I'll try PM pigpen is that their full username?

pigpen is her full user name

JackRS

Thanks, That example I found was written in 2007?

RAS

So the case was prior to 1998?

JackRS

RAS wrote: »

So the case was prior to 1998?

Well just the divorce was 9 years before post so actually 1998 I think? So what happened in 1998 that makes a difference?

JackRS

pigpen gave me this advice:


Child maintenance can be continued up to the 25th birthday depending on the circumstances. It is rare but there is that possibility.

I don't know anyone who has successfully claimed spousal allowance.. have a read here. It sounds like you have little responsibility to provide for your exwife once the children are of an age to be independent.. It might be worth revisiting the agreement you have here.

I'd tell the ex to go through CSA and pay what they suggest, or contact them yourselves and discuss what would be appropriate, about 20-25% seems about usual. I definitely wouldn't be going short myself to keep them in luxury when they sound so ungrateful.. removal of what they are used to might open their eyes to what you do actually provide and they might start appreciating something.

kelpie35

I think that is excellent advice.

I hope you can carry it all out and then start to live your own life.

LannieDuck

I would leave arrangements with your children alone for now. You and their Mum splitting up isn't their fault and should affect them as little as possible.

Down the line 6 months, maybe you can rearrange. But for now I would give them that stability even if they are treating you badly.

duchy

I bet their Mum is saying stuff like "You wait -he'll stop paying for driving lessons/your allowance" You really want to prove her right ?

Just seperate "household" and "personal" expenses with the kids - and keep paying the personal. Once things settle down the fact you kept on doing this as a Dad thing will help in rebuilding your relationship with them. At the moment they are feeling protective of their Mum as they (and she) see her as the victim. Once life becomes normal - that will most likely change with a bit of perspective.

JackRS

My solicitor has received a couple of responses from my wife’s solicitor:

• In response to our request not to put my belongings in the shed they threatened to issue a court order stopping me entering the house in future. We’re not going to grace that with a response as it’s ridiculous.

• How much she wants me pay to her during this period until settlement is agreed. They have requested £2600 a month!

Bare in mind the house is paid for so no rent or mortgage and all bills are under £500, also additionally to that I am currently paying each month:

1) Her lease car £161
2) Children allowance £100 direct to their accounts
3) Driving lessons £240
4) £130 minimum credit card payment (£9K 0% credit card debt)

So not much left for me to live on let alone rent anywhere, While they’re sat on their backsides in a nice 4 bed detached house not having to work!

Obviously my solicitor will write back rejecting this and again requesting what they actually need not want.