Separated, how much should I provide?

Marisco

Well I can't be called one of "Jack's fans" as I only dip in now and again. But it didn't take me long to suss out that this woman is a leech, who hopes to continue to have the same lifestyle at Jacks' expense. Some thing that all separated/divorced people need to realise (and the quicker the better for everyone) is that you cannot continue in the same way as you could when you were together.

I went from a comfortable lifestyle to nothing in a matter of weeks, there is no way I would have leeched off my ex, although I'd probably have got spousal support (through length of marriage/circumstances) and I could have certaily gone for his pension which would have been a substantial one. I have more self respect than that though, and like Jacks ex, no kids were involved.

I've know a couple of women like her, and their motivation was refusal to accept changed circumstances and revenge. It would be interesting though, if someone in Jacks' wifes' position, would come on here and justify why they bleeding their ex's dry. Can't see it happening anytime soon mind, as there is no justification for it, but it would be fun to see them try!!

JackRS

Marisco wrote: »

In other words, she joined the "ladies who lunch" brigade, found she liked doing nothing, and is now carking herself because she might have to do a spot of work, so thinks she can bleed Jack dry to keep her very nice lifestyle going! What a piece of work!

At the risk of sounding like I'm taking her side she wasn't really a lady that lunched but as I'm sure we can imagine it's very easy to fill a day with stuff at home....a lifestyle she prefered

Marisco

JackRS wrote: »

At the risk of sounding like I'm taking her side she wasn't really a lady that lunched but as I'm sure we can imagine it's very easy to fill a day with stuff at home....a lifestyle she prefered

TBH I was using the term more as an "catch all" for women who do nothing but potter around, although they have no kids to look after, rather than women who actually go out to lunch

Aye, and now she expects you to pay for it!! It's fine having a "lifestyle you prefer" providing you can pay for it yourself and not expect anyone else to bankroll it! Nothing wrong with doing nothing all day, I can recommend it since I retired However, I wouldn't expect my ex to pay for it though!!

JackRS

This is an open forum that I posted in to get opinions,opinions that not all will agree with so it encourages a healthy debate thatwill advise or better prepare me. Someof the advice I get is based on experience, some on wisdom and some on the hopethat ‘doing the right thing’ may provable…

You all recognise that you are only getting my side of thestory, which is why I have encouraged views that may be opposed to me becauseat the outset I seeked feedback to if I was being reasonable and fair. From my ex I was made to feel I wasn’t sohave tried to share the facts to get a balanced view. Therefore it is very important to me that Ido get an alternative view so I encourage those views that may be against mine. So please try not to discourage any views oropinion as I’m sure from reading this thread it comes across that most are onmy side so it would take a very brave person to post a view that doesn’t agreewith the majority. So please let peoplehave a view without fear of heavy criticism but rather offer your alternativeview.

I’m very flattered to hear talk of ‘my fan club’ but I hopeit’s more a human instinct for fairness and decency and I think of all contributorson here as exactly that, decent humans taking the time to give me the value oftheir views and experience and advice as I’m sure they would if ex Mrs JackRSposted her case.

Please encourage all views and opinions however different toyours they are, yes that may make them wrong in your opinion but try to think,what is your objective in writing a criticism about someone’s view on here?

Sorry, gone on a bit, but hopefully you can understand whatI mean?

spender

I'm still coming to your party :rotfl:

Mojisola

JackRS wrote: »

You all recognise that you are only getting my side of the story, which is why I have encouraged views that may be opposed to me because at the outset I seeked feedback to if I was being reasonable and fair.

From my ex I was made to feel I wasn’t so have tried to share the facts to get a balanced view.

I've been following the thread from the beginning and I think you have been more than reasonable and fair.

You could have gone on long term sickness through stress. You could have taken early retirement. You could have stopped giving your ex child maintenance as soon as the children stopped living with her.

It's such a shame that your ex hasn't appreciated how fortunate she is that you haven't played the situation.

I suspect that if you had been getting advice from her solicitor, she would have been much worse off now.

JackRS

spender wrote: »

I'm still coming to your party :rotfl:

That's a relief, there'll be 2 of us then, plus the band !

justme111

You don't invite me then .. ( pouting )

JackRS

justme111 wrote: »

You don't invite me then .. ( pouting )

Of course you're invited, would you come? Does it depend where it is and when?

madvixen

I think we'll all be at your party Jack. I've ordered balloons already :beer: